First of all, I love my wife. She does not yet know that i have decided to have the lapband procedure. I have brought the subject up but she quickly dismisses it. She doesn't understand (she has never had a problem with her weight) and she is not interested in listening to me. Part of this is my fault because of all the diets i have been on and failed. When i talk about the lapband she says stuff like "just excersize more and eat less." While that is something i need to do, it is not that simple.

My wife also can' t keep a secret. I can't tell her anything i would like kept confidential because she tells her aunt, mother and sister everything. They are not people i want to know about what i am doing. They are not always positive influences.

I am moving forward without my wife's support. I feel bad that i have to do this alone but i know i can do it and when the time is right, i will tell her, i just need to be prepared to deal with all the side show crap that will come from her side of our family.

Thanks for listening. Any help is appreciated!

Way to turn it around dude! I don't know what I would do faced with a situation like that.

I tell people I'm living the dream.... Focus on you, and everyone around you will respect it and support you or fall by the wayside...

I'm going to be a rough but I've got to say it.

So' date=' you are obese and your wife doesn't support your effort to get a tool to help you to take control of your life??? Wonder what her thoughts will be when she calls 911 when that heart attack comes. Or, how will she treat you when you go blind from diabetes??? How 'bout when the doctor tells you they will have to amputate your foot because of diabetes???

Terrible thoughts I know but they are real for the obese. I was going stinking blind as a result of diabetes and obesity.

Put on you big boy britches, call the whole family in and tell them DAMMIT I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

We only have one life, make the most of it. You are like the rest of us here, we sat and watched. Well, I did a 12.2 mile 20 obstacle course 1 year from surgery. I'm not sitting on the sidelines anymore.[/quote']

Agree 100%

My wife would tell me the same thing that I can do it on my own and then my Dr told me he wants to see me reach 40 for my kids sake and I decided to do with or without her support. 100lbs later I'm feeling great and in better shape then her

Hi Runrun, it's nearly a year later. Did you have the surgery yet? If so, how are you?

My hubby too didnt think it necessary to have WLS and didnt want me to do it.

He voiced his oppinion once and only once but knew it was my decision in the end. He has been neither negative or possitive about any part of it.

You should discuss it with her and tell her your plans, tell her you would really love her support and why. But tell her you plan to move forward with your plans for WLS with or without her as you feel this it the best decision for a healthier life and a happy future.

good Luck to you....it will all work out ok

Good luck to you and I'm sure your wife will be supportive once she starts seeing results!

Good luck to you and I'm sure your wife will be supportive once she starts seeing results!

That would be nice but don't depend on it. For instance my wife is really struggling with my weight loss. She is now becoming overly concerned about her own eating habits and developing more of a negative self image it seems.

Basically even though she's the same size she seems to think she's getting bigger because I'm getting smaller.

I'm going to be a rough but I've got to say it.

Put on you big boy britches' date=' call the whole family in and tell them DAMMIT I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

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-TexasJeff said it best! I pray your wife comes around when she gets more familiar and educated about this surgery. I'm sure her attitude comes from a place of love and fear. It's YOUR job to put those fears at ease. Be blessed! You're gonna need her support.

Your Wife loves you & will come around in her thinking! As mentioned everyone here will be open to help you too anytime day or night !