I don't know if this belongs in this area but I figured I would get the most response from the general lap band public here. I am 27 now and want to finish college before I have children because I know I will just put off finishing again if something like pregnancy and children came along. It is really important for me to finish school so I will be in my early 30's before I feel I will be ready to have children as much as I want them now. My question is how many of you waited until your 30's to have children? I have PCOS due to my weight and feel as the weight comes off that will go away also being that it is a syndrome. I am worried that the longer I wait the harder it will be for me. Am I crazy thinking I will be too old at 30 or 31 to start having children? My husband is 6 years older than me also and wants kids badly when the time is right. Any stories would be helpful of people who waited or didn't wait. I need to weigh my options now. My delima, I have a great paying and steady job now, but I hate the work and the hours. I am going now part time to school to become a teacher that will be a major pay cut, but great hours and I feel will be very rewarding and worth the major pay cut. I could go to work part time for a few years and do the rest of my school plus student teaching and then buy a house, have kids...or I could stay where I am now in route to buy a house this fall and then have kids after that and somewhere fit in school and student teaching somewhere in there down the road and stick with a job that I hate?? I am perplexed and want to wait until Im done with school, but scared I won't be able to have them (babies) if I wait until I'm in my 30's...

Sorry this was rambly, my thoughts are not together today....Any ideas and thoughts would be appreciated.

So I can completely relate with you. I have a good job and I've been married since Dec 2004. My husband is 25 and I'm 30. We really want kids but I've been through a LOT in the past year+ and gained a lot of weight. I'd be putting myself at a huge risk if I tried to concieve right now. Plus I also have PCOS. I'm planning to get banded this summer so I can hopefully start trying next summer. I'm also scared that I waited too long. My mother always wanted to be a grandma and for the past 10 years she'd joke with me about when am I gonna find Mr. Right so I can make her a grandma. Now that I have Mr. Right she's gone and it's so upsetting that I don't know if I could handle having a baby so soon after she's died. This is a major theraputic time for me and losing the weight is going to help me so much.

Hang in there Kim and things will all fall in place. 30's not too old!

:faint:

I had my first baby at 28 and that was great. I had my third at 35 and that was also great! Now I'm a uni student and will graduate at the ripe old age of 42. There's no right age to do anything!

Well, I was 26 and 29 with my first two and just had my third 4 months ago at 35. I don't feel old if that is what you are worrying about. In fact, I don't really feel much different then the day I had my first. My sister is due with her first in July and she turns 31 in June. Really, today more and more women are having kids in their 30's and even 40s. You are only as old as you feel! Finish school and enjoy your husband now and when the time is right you will be a fantastic mom who has all her priorities in order!

Josette, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and the issues that go along with that.

As for getting the degree after the kids, the whole point of getting the degree now is because at my current job I make great money but work a 60 hour week, most weeks to do it, which with school doesn't get me home until after 8:00 pm every single night of the week. No matter what I will have to work. My husband does not make enough to support the both of us now, let alone adding a child...I have been the moneymaker in the relationship hating my job while he makes substatially less at a good job he loves and has worked at for almost 15 years now. I want to have children and be able to enjoy them and raise them and feel that if I become a teacher I will have a schedule that is more condusive of that rather than the corporate overtime mom. I'm still debating.

I love hearing all of these stories and hurt for those that had so much trouble becoming pregnant or never being able to become pregnant.

You are right though, there is a time and a place in our lives and I have to figure out what is more important to me and definately figure out how to balance work, family and me. I hate the struggle that it is, but if I wasn't struggling I wouldn't be living!

i married at 21 and waited to have kids, wanted to finish college (did at 26) and spent lots of time just hubby and me. had my 1st at 28, second at 30, got band at 30 and had last son at 32, divorced at 34. well i start back to school in the fall to get a teachers credential and spend more time with my kids as they grow up. i never expected to me at this by myself and the best thing i ever did was finish school in the first place. i can afford to work part time and raise my boys.

"Life is what happens when your busy making plans" heard is somewhere and boy does it explain my life. Good luck with your decision.

ana

"Life is what happens when your busy making plans"

that is so my life Ana, I am a huge planner, so much so I can never enjoy the NOW!

Kim,

I am 33 years old, no kids, have PCOS, and am preop for the band. I agree with everyone here, wait AND don't wait...

Not sure where in your weight loss you are with your band, but it sounds like you're in control of your health, including the PCOS. Finish school, look forward to motherhood in your 30s, but be aggressive in treating your PCOS now.

While you're waiting for 30 to roll around, research traditional and/or alternative treatments (according to your own philosophies) to regulate your cycles and heal your ovaries. For women with PCOS, there's more to trying to conceive than the conception. So, if you feel the baby bug, just keep doing what you're doing, concentrating on your health, reducing your weight, and finding harmony in your body and reproductive system.

By the time your turn 30, you'll be a whole lot closer to fertility than I was, that's for sure! After surgery and the year or so to get in better shape, I am looking at motherhood in my min-thirties rather than early 30s. I'd say you're right on track.

A final thought: My great grandmother was 30 when she had my grandmother. My grandmother was 30 when she had my mother. My mother was 30 when she had me. I grew up knowing both grandmothers.

You need to see a reproductive endocrinologist for a professional opinion. Mine thought I had PCOS (I didn't), but your really need to do family planning if you do.

I think having your kids in your 30's after college is a wise, wise choice. BUT...PCOS throws a big wedgie in that plan and you need a professional to tell you what is in your best interests.

I had my first at 32 and my twins at 37. I took clomid for both pregnancies and was really overweight. While a lot of women wait until they are older to have their kids, the research is now showing that fertility for women really drops off even in the late 20's. So you can certianly have kids in your 30's when you have PCOS, but know that it may be harder to get pregnant.

My R.E. told me to have all my kids quicky since I probably would get a lot of chances with PCOS (this was before it was ruled out). My kids are almost 5 years apart because my 1st one was 9and still is) a big challenge. So it worked for me!

My Dad was 62 and my Mother 42 when I was born...

I just tossed that in

I had my first at 26, my second at 29, and my third at 30. My mom had her last (and fifth) at 36. I certainly do not think early to mid--or even late thirties is too old to become a mommy!

Enjoy the rest of your 20s--relish the time alone--just you and your husband because once the babies come, "alone" will be a word of the past. It's great having children--just takes so much energy--and patience.

I had my first child nine years ago when I was 25, then had my second child when I was 3 months shy of 33.

I was told at an early age that I would probably never have kids and so when I became pregnant the first time I was really upset....only because I had prepared myself for never being a mom and always being the "best Auntie" I had a terrible pregnancy....toxmia...gained over 100 lbs. But my second pregnancy went very well, only gained 26 lbs.

I think you are wise for wanting to finish school first and then have a family, so you will be able to be home with them more.

On a different note my husbands parents were older when they had him she was 40 and his dad was 72. My husband is 15 years older than me and has a daughter who will turn 28 this next week.

I was 32 when I had my daughter after 8 years of fertility failures and got preggers naturally with my son at 37. I won't say that the days aren't challenging, but I am dealing with alot more stress then just the kids...so I don't hold it against them! :-) My one tip is if you get preggers..be sure and have your progesterone levels checked the minute you find out you are preggers. That is one of the biggest reasons that bigger women miscarry in the first trimester..they don't have enough preganancy hormone to support life. Thank god I found an awesome fertility dr who was able to help us finally get my daughter.

Kim that is exactly why I'm becoming a teacher.

I had my first child at 19 and my 5 child (all girls) at age 40. Wouldn't trade a minute of it.

I had my first at 35 and my 2nd and 3rd (twins - LOL) at 40! All while I was extremely overweight (ok, super morbidily obese - YIKES). I also had extreme fertility issues (I had 8 miscarriages) and was on fertility shots, hormones, the whole 9 yards. I had one fertility specialist who told me I would never have a baby (got rid of him quick) and one who did everything in is power to make my dreams come true, but neither suggested that my weight was the cause of my fertility issues. My girls are all healthy and beautiful and so worth all the heartache I went throught to get them.

Just going to throw out a couple of facts for you to think about - 1) once you hit 35 your chances of having a miscarriage are roughly your age. ie. at 35 you have about a 35% chance of having a miscarriage. and 2) Your chances of having twins naturally, greatly increase after 35.

Nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready, and remember losing the weight will help while you are pregnant.

OBTW - My great grandmother was considered an "Old Maid" and didn't get married until the ripe old age of 28 (remember this is 1907) and went on to have 14 (count em 14) children, into her 40's.