Hi everyone!

Was there a particular incident or emotion that helped you make the final decision to get the lap band surgery or was it just a culmination of a lot of different things that did it for you? I am in the process of approval and find myself waffling back and forth whether I am doing the right thing or not. Some days I am 100% sure and other days I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I may actually be going through with it.

I know I need this. I am the type of person though that must do tons and tons of research and think and think and reason and discuss! Haha!

Final straw, having to hold on to bed edge when waking up because my feet hurt so bad from working all day on them and getting off the floor after working with preschool children...I waddled.

My Turning Points

Unable to get off the floor without help, no energy all I wanted to do was sleep, my 4 year old son stopped asking me to play and when I asked him why he didn't and he said bc ur sick and tired mommy, unable to have another baby, and the tight size 26 pants. I'm ready to live my life again!!!!

Not sure if you remember hearing about that horrible Christmas house fire where Madonna Badger lost her three young children and both parents. It was an unimaginable tragedy, and I found myself obsessed with following the news. How do you go on after something like that?? I assumed she would kill herself. I imagined that I would...

But then the even more unthinkable happened. Madonna stood up in front of 1000 mourners at the funeral and told stories about her three little girls! She was of course crying, but she somehow picked herself up, using sheer force of will and inner strength, and found a way to put one foot in front of another.

That kind of strength ASTOUNDED me. It shocked me. And yet somehow I also remembered. Deep inside myself also lurks that kind of strength—though it's been soooo many years since I saw it, I had genuinely forgotten it was there. If only I could only find a way to tap into that strength, to speak from that strength...

And then I said, out loud: "If I were to speak from that place of strength now, I would say 'I should have the weight loss surgery.'"

And then I put one foot in front of another.

Oh my goodness, where so I start? For me, it was more than one thing. I was no longer fitting into my clothes. I used to be a shopaholic and I absolutely hate shopping now. Nothing fits or looks good on. Second, I could no longer take the stairs without being out of breath. It's really embarassing. Last but not least is my health. I have PCOS, insulin resistance, high blood pressure, migraines, sleep apnea and I just had my gallbladder removed. I don't want to develop any more life threatening diseases. I want to elminate them. I'd like to have a child in the future and to get married. I want to get rid of my PCOS and have regular cycles. I want to feel confident enough to date. Most importantly, I want to be healthy.