the 'why can't you just lose the weight normaly' question...

[pendulum 6]

My parents are wonderful folks...loving, supportive.....

but.

Today I got the 'I read this article from a lady who was going to have the (lapband) surgery and instead she just lost the weight...question. You know this discussion/ topic......I am sure most lap banders have heard it.....

Friends are fine, family...not so much. When I looked at banding 6 years ago it was the same discussion...

How do I combat (NOT the right word, but the only one I can think of) this mindset/train of talk?

Ultimately this is NOT their decision, it is MINE, that said I think we all want support from them.

(side note, this is my father and (step) mother who have been married 32 years, my other mom I haven't told nor do I plan on (none of her business).

Hi

[nayttap 4]

My parents are wonderful folks...loving, supportive.....

but.

Today I got the 'I read this article from a lady who was going to have the (lapband) surgery and instead she just lost the weight...question. You know this discussion/ topic......I am sure most lap banders have heard it.....

Friends are fine, family...not so much. When I looked at banding 6 years ago it was the same discussion...

How do I combat (NOT the right word, but the only one I can think of) this mindset/train of talk?

Ultimately this is NOT their decision, it is MINE, that said I think we all want support from them.

(side note, this is my father and (step) mother who have been married 32 years, my other mom I haven't told nor do I plan on (none of her business).

Hi

Seeing that coming........I never told my family--beyond the immediates like my own children who are young adults. My parents, siblings, etc have been left in the dark. Sad reality......because there's so much I'd like to share and educate them on as they are interested........but they'll never know. It's easiest that way for me.

I feel for you........could see that same thing coming from my ever devoted mama and papa, all in the name of love and knowing what is best for their children............even though we are all in our 40's & 50's.

Like fills and the amount needed, and the right decision for each person, it's an individual choice--not one right answer.

[pendulum 6]

no kids here, 49....and I keep wanting to defend them with "but they mean well" (and then find myself laughing and shaking my head)

Seeing that coming........I never told my family--beyond the immediates like my own children who are young adults. My parents, siblings, etc have been left in the dark. Sad reality......because there's so much I'd like to share and educate them on as they are interested........but they'll never know. It's easiest that way for me.

I feel for you........could see that same thing coming from my ever devoted mama and papa, all in the name of love and knowing what is best for their children............even though we are all in our 40's & 50's.

Like fills and the amount needed, and the right decision for each person, it's an individual choice--not one right answer.

[nikki c 16]

My parents are wonderful folks...loving, supportive.....

but.

Today I got the 'I read this article from a lady who was going to have the (lapband) surgery and instead she just lost the weight...question. You know this discussion/ topic......I am sure most lap banders have heard it.....

Friends are fine, family...not so much. When I looked at banding 6 years ago it was the same discussion...

How do I combat (NOT the right word, but the only one I can think of) this mindset/train of talk?

Ultimately this is NOT their decision, it is MINE, that said I think we all want support from them.

(side note, this is my father and (step) mother who have been married 32 years, my other mom I haven't told nor do I plan on (none of her business).

Hi

I've gotten this. I say that i've used other methods and gained the weight back, this is a tool that will help teach me correct eating habits that i can use for the rest of my life.

People who haven't struggled with weight...well, they have a hard time understanding the addiction those of us who do struggle have with food. The band gives motivation, restriction, and support. Overeating is just like any other addiction. Drug addicts get rehab, halfway houses; we get lap band!

[pendulum 6]

DING! thanks!!!!

my step mom was freaked when I told her food CALLS to me....she said 'you hear voices'? (lol)... I asked how there could be one or two bites of something and she not notice it... like when someone brings sweets in to work....it drives me NUTS!!!!

I can hear it calling to me. She does not and will not 'get that'. Same with my dad....thank you so very much for this 'reasoning tool'- great group folks .....

PenNdulum

I've gotten this. I say that i've used other methods and gained the weight back, this is a tool that will help teach me correct eating habits that i can use for the rest of my life.

People who haven't struggled with weight...well, they have a hard time understanding the addiction those of us who do struggle have with food. The band gives motivation, restriction, and support. Overeating is just like any other addiction. Drug addicts get rehab, halfway houses; we get lap band!

[nikki c 16]

calls at you?!? THAT CRAP SCREAMS AND WAVES AT ME!

[bromo 17]

Not to highjack this thread but wanted to say that nikki, you look great! The pictures are amazing.

[nikki c 16]

Not to highjack this thread but wanted to say that nikki, you look great! The pictures are amazing.

ty so much! I'm so happy to actually have some after pics really starting to see it!

[xavier 153]

RULE # 1:

DO NOT engage in a conversation, dialog, or argument about your choices. Whatever the person says just nod and smile. As soon as you start defending your choice you have invited the other person to make their counterpoint.When they say , "why cant you do what this lady did?" just smile and say "Oh, I dont know " and STOP talking. They will tire of it if you dont participate.

With this type or speed of weight loss lots of people want to be in your business about it and it seems it mostly stems from THEIR weight issues and isnt even about you. Good luck...dont participate in the conversation and there wont be a conversation!!!

My parents are wonderful folks...loving, supportive.....

but.

Today I got the 'I read this article from a lady who was going to have the (lapband) surgery and instead she just lost the weight...question. You know this discussion/ topic......I am sure most lap banders have heard it.....

Friends are fine, family...not so much. When I looked at banding 6 years ago it was the same discussion...

How do I combat (NOT the right word, but the only one I can think of) this mindset/train of talk?

Ultimately this is NOT their decision, it is MINE, that said I think we all want support from them.

(side note, this is my father and (step) mother who have been married 32 years, my other mom I haven't told nor do I plan on (none of her business).

Hi

[pendulum 6]

wow. love all the PASSION in this group (guess you gotta put that former food passion somewhere eh?)

as to the comment, this is my folks....part of there job IS to make us crazy eh?

-little side note here- if this (weight loss) were SO easy ....well I WROTE a healthy cookbook ("No More Fat Bears, a healthy guide and cookbook), taught healthy cooking and have a genuine culinary degree.....easy as um...pie.

-as to the voices calling- when I was in a kitchen I told folks it was like a alcoholic working in a bar.... there was food EVERYWHERE....nibble here and there and here and there....culinary school was like a fantasy! (rule- in B&P (baking and pastry) you gain 3-5 lbs, I gained 5-10). I would hurt from eating after class....

I even have a one year chip from OA here somewhere..

as to the smile and nod reply- I like that. just say thanks and let it pass (the ultra skinny boss is a good case, she can eat a moose and not gain weight.... yet I am sure she has her own challenges) so...

you folks are awesome...thanks

one day closer to my consult with Dr Daly....

PenNdulum

[justmermp 6]

My comeback would be. "Has that worked for me before? Did I keep it off? (no and no). I need help, I can't do it alone and this is a good tool to help me."

[Soundman999 3]

Hmmmmm....I guess that I'm am in a different mind-set than some of you...because I really don't care what anyone thinks!!!!

My life...my decision!!

[cakegirl 12]

Before I had my surgery, I had a couple of times where I had to cut people off, and say something like "Look, I've made my decision and I'd rather not have to justify myself over and over again to different people, so maybe we should just talk about something else now..." (For me it was friends, not family.)

[JimR915 21]

Hmmmmm....I guess that I'm am in a different mind-set than some of you...because I really don't care what anyone thinks!!!!

My life...my decision!!

My thinking exactly. I tend to be an open book anyway, so I really didn't care who knew.

I just tell people that this is my way of getting and staying healthy. Most people are very supportive (at least to my face). The others can go jump off the proverbial bridge for all I care.

[NJGirl32 43]

People just don't understand unless they struggled with weight issues themselevs. My hubby said the same thing to me before surgery-I think he was getting a little scared about me getting an operation. I think it stems from concern.

The other day on the Today show they had a woman who lost a lot of weight on-the whole before and after pictures. Kathie Lee says "Oh I am so glad to hear you did it the natural way." I am thinking WTH ! I am proud of my weight loss and I am damn proud that I was brave enough and determined enough to get the lapband surgery. It takes real strength to go through all the stages of banding.

Ultimately it's your life, your decision, your health.