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So a few friends were finally honest with me...



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They said they could NOT understand why I was banded. They said banding was for people that were 100 pounds over weight and I'm not.

Well I told them do you realize what I weighed to start with? They guessed around 180. I told them I weighed right at 230. Their jaws dropped. They could not believe it. Now they say they totally understand why I did it.

But why do people have to judge? When I tell people I've had it done I also say that my insurance company covered it. So if my insurance covered it then I had legitimate reasons for doing it otherwise they would have denied it.

Then I told them the surgeon said I should weigh 125. They are very against that. They say I will be WAY TOO thin at that weight. I'm only going after 140-145 but I think they will still be lecturing me even at that weight.

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nearly everyone that i've told had the nerve to tell me i was making a mistake :tongue2:

psh, tell that to all the things that i've missed out on because i was/am overweight. im 5'3 and also started out at 230 and people, even my surgeon, said i carried my weight well and didn't look like it.

forgive me, but i thought they were full of it! i thought they were [God bless em] just trying to spare my feelings.

pish posh. i know how being jumbo sized has affected me all my Life and i'm at a point were i'm ready to get healthy...though my PCP said "your suprisingly in good health" <--- thanks Doc.:unsure:

i just would like to be thinner and go for daily runs and wear clothes i've only dreamed of. [i.e. stylish stuff, not hoochy junk] and i've been dieting and doing exercising programs since i was 9 years old!

i want my goal weight to be 130lbs an people have the samae reaction "omg that's disgusting!" :crying:

yeah. sure.

we'll see.

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I get told all the time that I carry my weight very well but know one ever knew how much I weighed. When I finally told my husband how much I weighed he was shocked. My insurance also covered my surgery but I haven't told anyone outside of my mom,dad,sister,niece and of course my husband that I even have the band. So if I told others in my family (who are almost all overweight) that I had they would have a cow! I am not ready to deal with it. Spoiltmom they are just jealous and wish that they had the courage to take the steps that you have to become a healthier you.

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The only person that knows I had surgery is my husband and my best friend and that's all I plan on telling. I think it is no one elses business what I do. There are so many haters and judgmental people out there. There is NO REASON why I have to justify my decision to anybody except my insurance. I don't have steady work at the moment and have only been working temporary assignments through a agency, I gave them a dr note stating I had to be off work. But I got my drs note through the hospital so it was not from a specific dr. The agency asked if I was ok and I said yes and they wanted to be all in my business and ask what kind of surgery and all I said with a smile was, HIPPA Law. ( I think I abbreviated that correctly). I guess I just think differently than others. I use to be skinny most of my life. But when I was getting near 30 I started to gain weight. I have seen the haters on both sides. When I was skinny and I was going out, jealous girls would call me fat! LOL!!! I was 135lb @ 5'10 where was the fat??? Now I'm over 300 and feel self conscious when I go to Godiva chocolate to buy a gift because I'm holding a chocolate bag. All I'm saying is there are always going to be haters and the only person you have to please is yourself! But that is just my opinion. Some people are proud and want to tell everybody.... But if you do, you might as well get ready to explain why...

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My Son thinks that I am lazy and that I just need to diet and get off my ass. He and his best friend were visiting me today and my Son brought up that his friend thought it was the easy way out. After they left I had a good cry. It really hurts to not have my Son be supportive but he does not know what my life has been like. It was MY decision for me and I am sticking by it. They and whoever else can think whatever they want!!!

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Even though I know people are sometimes negative when they hear you've had lap band or gastric bypass but who cares? i mean they are not the ones who are going through the pain of recovery or the feeling of nausea or whatever else nor are they the one who are goin to reach YOUR goal and feel like you are on top of the world!. I an fortunate that no one has been negative about it. I tell everyone I know coz i'm that excited about losing weight!

now my question to all the ones who don't really share with anyone..what will you say when people notice your weight loss and ask how you did it..coz you know they will...will ya'll be like Star Jones and swear it was all on your own with diet and exercise OR will ya fess up OR just play coy?

either way i'm proud of all of us on a hard BUT well worth journey!! way to go!

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it makes me sad to hear people not having support :unsure: I could not have done this without it! so kudos and applause to all of you who have done it on your own!!!

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MrsBure...aww hon i'm sorry to hear that. I don't know why they can't look at this is going to improve our quality of life and just be happy ? ya know? i have two sons..18 and 14 and they are both very supportive.

Have you talked to him to let him know he hurt your feelings? That makes me sad to hear!

I'm proud of you!

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My Mom is very supportive and I am staying at her house right now recovering from my surgery. It hurts that my Son does not support the decision but, I don't hold back from telling anyone I could care less what they think.

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Oh doncha love how everyone feels the need to put their ten cents in, when it is YOUR life and YOUR body? I guess I had gotten to the point I didn't care what anyone thought and I sure wasn't going to try and hide it from anyone, either...I have no poker face and don't hide things well, it is easier for me to just be up front. So most people know I had the surgery, but they also have been here and seen me that it wasn't just all flowers and rainbows and I did have to work at it. Folks tend to think it is the "easy way" out....boy if only that were true!:crying:

Course I had others who had to tell me about everyone they ever knew that had surgery and failed....if anything it made me more determined NOT to fail. My feeling was that if I was going to put my body through getting the surgery done then I had darn well be committed to making it work! It is not easy and at times I was hungry and miserable - it takes a long time before your comfort connection to food can be completely broken and at times I still struggle with that....but overall would I go back and do it again? In a heartbeat!:tongue2:

I have lost 100 lbs - and I am still about 40 from what the "charts" say I should be at, but I know as tall as I am that I would be a skeleton if I were to get that small so I have set a more realistic goal. Folks have NO CLUE how much weight I was carrying around thanks to my height (I am 5'9") and when I tell them I was 300 lbs they cannot believe it. (isn't it great to know you can carry weight well? :unsure:)

Keep up the good work and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks...when I finally realized that it didn't matter and I truly didn't care - it was a very freeing feeling!

Kim

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Just because we know how it is and how it feels to carry more weight (of fat and emotions), that doesn't mean that everyone can relate.It is not the easy way out.There is nothing easy in depriving, afraid to eat,pb, emotional roller coasters,surgery, healing,relearning to eat and to live all over again,seeing your body and your mind changing etc etc..

Hell no, i did not take the easy way out! :unsure:

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dirk..AMEN!! if this is the 'easy way' i sure would hate to see the hard way! lol

although i did pretty good during surgery..i'm having bad gas pains now [6 days post op] i pray it goes away soon!

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..what will you say when people notice your weight loss and ask how you did it..coz you know they will...will ya'll be like Star Jones and swear it was all on your own with diet and exercise OR will ya fess up OR just play coy?

I was thinking about that...what I'd say, because NO one, c'ept my Mom, Hubby, my two boys and BFF, knows.

I plan to tell them the truth. Small meals, NO sodas, limited white foods, high Protein and getting very active. Isn't that what the 'others' do to loose weight? Lots of my friends take Adipex from their doctor's weight loss program.

My MIL told me I was too pretty to be fat. Then last Thanksgiving, his uncle and I were alone for a few minutes and he was talking about how fat people are discriminated against. He couldn't shut up about it. It is so rude for people to say things or judge anyone.

Edited by SecondHandRose

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
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    • BeanitoDiego

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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