:mad:I don't really want to seem like I am venting but I am about to. I hate it when people ask me "why are you choosing the lap band and not the normal procedure?" Why does it matter, shouldn't you just be happy i am trying to make a postive change in my life regarding my weight. Why do I or should I have to explain why me wanting the lap band which is an easier surgery plus I won't lose weight so fast that i can't keep up with working out and getting my body into shape. I hate that people have the nerve to say all the bad things about the lap band when I am in the process of changing my life for the better. Yea It will probably take longer to lose 200 lbs...so what at least I get to learn a daily routine and let my life slowly change for the positive. I don't care if I only lose 80 pounds the first year...that would be 80 pounds that's gone forever. I hate that people who should be supportive of my decision is not....Does anyone else feel like I feel about people being happy for your decision. It's a decision that can make your life better.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with people's negative opinions. My aunt and I were just discussing this yesterday because I asked her not to tell anyone. She said to me, "I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. However, I think this a great decision that you are making for you, not anyone else. Be proud of the decision you have made, and if any one has a problem with it then eff them"

haha it made me happy because it's true. you could be tall and thin or have a great figure and there will be someone out there who has something negative to say.

keep your head up!

babyk it sounds like you have a very smart aunt!

I'm assuming these people have not had any type of WLS. If they haven't one easy way to get them to shut up is (next time they sy something like that) to turn to them and say "Oh, well, tell me all about your experience with gastric bypass and LAP-BAND®, since you obviously know all about it".

Sorry for the negativity. You have done a very positive thing for yourself and you should Celebrate that I have been careful with who I have told, but so far everyone has been very supportive. Your right to rant, and to come to the blog. Keep life positive and we will all be here for you.

Lashonda....I just 'dismiss' people like that; I turn them off, tune them out. You could always reply with "If ignorance is bliss - you must be very happy!".

All of my friends were very supportive of me; my husband...dead set against it. I was so pissed at him you have no idea. I canceled my appointment. I also continued to speak with my friends. Then a few days later, my hubby and I went out for dinner, and I mentioned to him that Jen (one of our friends) asked me if she could call him, and give him chit for his attitude. Then we had a 'calm' conversation about it. That night, I called the Surgery Clinic and rebooked my appointment. I was banded on Apr 20th!!

My hubby had some fear issues around the surgery, which basically stemmed from ignorance about the laproscopic surgery. (He'd lost his previous wife to cancer, etc), so he was afraid that surgery would be too invasive.

Anyways, long story short, I've had it done, I'll NEVER regret my decision, and strangely enough - his kids (who're not mine) are some of my biggest supporters!!

Do what you need to do for you - YOU'RE WORTH IT!

These sort of reactions is exactly why I have chosen not to tell anyone that I am even considering it, much less actually plan to do it as soon as I can get everything in place. My DH tries to understand, and will certainly honor my wishes, but he says eventually people will figure it out. I wouldn't lie about it if someone flat out asked me, but I just don't want to make it public yet...it is a very personal decision and I don't need (or want) the pressure of people constantly asking how much weight I have lost or judging me if they think it is too slow or too fast...

This is exactly how I feel.

It really is nobody else's business and when you tell people they are going to tell you their "friend of a friend stories" or they will tell you what they think about it without having a true knowledge of what LAP-BAND® is. Even when I was calling my insurance co. the woman kept referring to LAP-BAND® as Gastric bypass.

I talked to my DH about it and he's ok with it. He knows I have struggled with weight my whole married life . Let's not even talk about all the money I've spent pursuing 1 magic diet after the other. That is all the validation I need.

Yes, when I start losing and get to goal (I will) I cannot see looking at people (especially, those I care about) and not being honest but even then that will be on a need to know basis.

This decision is very personal and I went through 3 years before I finally decided to go for it. I don't need or want anybody else's uninformed opinions. I often wonder why people feel the need to tell everyone about this decision.

I'm on a hair forum and 1 member started a thread "should I have gastric bypass?" I was like "poor thing!!"

I understand that some people are more open than others believe me I am so excited about the surgery that I would like to tell more people but I know what that would bring.

I have my own fears about going through surgery . I really don't need all the other negativity.

Edited July 21, 201016 yr by msdv

I have been obese (wow! I really said it!) for quite some time and have truggled with diet after diet but never really found anything that worked for me. I would get so frustrated at a lady I know because she would always compare eating habits to smoing habits. She quit smoking cold turkey and she assumed people with a food addiction should be able to 'push' themselves away from the table. Well it isnt that easy to push myself away from the table. I just blew her off. I realized there was no need to let her make things even worse for me.

I am very fortunate in the respect that I have so many supportive people in my life who is willing to accept this journey I am on! I am sorry that you have negative people in your life. But I heard a quote from a co-worker today that stuck with me. Why should I let the Devil ruin my moment and my mood? You should think about that everytime someone says negative things about your choice! You have to do what is best for YOU! It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks!

hey, you are doing it for yourself! There are people at work who delivered their babies and came home from the hospital "wearing their Calvin Kleins". I (so to speak.) I don't care who knows and I don't care what they think. THEY have not been in MY shoes. Stopping smoking is completely different from stopping eating. What a loon to think it would be the same! My DH and 3 sons are very supportive, as are the rest of my family. My youngest said he can sort of understand because no matter what he does, he can't GAIN weight. Don't let the ignorant, perhaps even envious others get you down. But vent away! It is good for the soul! You go!

So I was banded on jan 29. 2010 and noone knows except my husband. Not even my adult children. I will tell them when I feel the time is right. I was off work for 6 days with the "flu" The weight loss is slow so everyone just thinks I am dieting successfuly.

I was worried about the reaction if anyone knew just as you have experienced.

Now that the Beans are spilled, I guess this is one way to find out who your friends really are.

Not worth fretting over, just do your thing and be happy that you are doing this for yourself and your family so you can be around much longer for them.

I hear you! That is the reason I decided not to tell anyone. I knew I would get that reaction. I only told my mom, dad and husband. I would stop telling people if I were you, it will make life easier I think.

The only people I have told are my husband, son, and a few friends who also have weight problems. Skinny people do not get it - and that includes my mother who is 100 lbs (wet). I have lost 30 lbs. from taking the required nutrition class so far and I have told everyone that I am getting my hiatal hernia repaired - which I am. Everyone knows I have been having a lot of stomach problems, so they don't even question it and I have already been losing weight, so I will just continue on that path after the surgery and none will be the wiser! :thumbup:

As far as Lapband vs. bypass, my own family doctor does not condone the bypass because of the malabsorption of nutrients. I wouldn't want bypass anyway as we lost a very dear friend from it just a few months ago. :w00t: He had zero energy after surgery and became very sedentary. He developed a blod clot and it went to his brain. My husband said he would NOT support me if I chose to take that route. It's not really an issue anyway.

Looking forward to beginning my Lapband journey!

Remember you are doing this for yourself and nobody else. The only person I have told is my mother, I don't want to hear anyone elses opinions. About 4 years ago, I was deadset on having gastric bypass after seeing a coworker do wonderfully from it. I went to a consult and did a psych eval and a seminar, the more I thought about it, the more I did not like the mal absorption part of it, and of course the dumping syndrome. I did not want to never eat chocolate again. I decided, I can do this without surgery. fast forward to present, I decided that I would do the lap band. I recently heard the woman who had the GB recently had an intusseception (intestines basically telescope inside themselves) I feel this was due to the GB, I have seen animals with this condition due to a few factors, but never had heard of a person with it.

I would love to lose the weight as fast as I could with GB, but now I feel losing it slower is better and I am going to learn better eating habits, and I will still be able to have chocolate once in a while in moderation.

But remember again, this is your decision and no one else's!