:mad:I don't really want to seem like I am venting but I am about to. I hate it when people ask me "why are you choosing the lap band and not the normal procedure?" Why does it matter, shouldn't you just be happy i am trying to make a postive change in my life regarding my weight. Why do I or should I have to explain why me wanting the lap band which is an easier surgery plus I won't lose weight so fast that i can't keep up with working out and getting my body into shape. I hate that people have the nerve to say all the bad things about the lap band when I am in the process of changing my life for the better. Yea It will probably take longer to lose 200 lbs...so what at least I get to learn a daily routine and let my life slowly change for the positive. I don't care if I only lose 80 pounds the first year...that would be 80 pounds that's gone forever. I hate that people who should be supportive of my decision is not....Does anyone else feel like I feel about people being happy for your decision. It's a decision that can make your life better.

Just do what you feel you need to do. You can't change what others think and do; it just can't be done know matter how you reason about this. How is it going now?

Lashonda... Unfortunately you can't please everybody. Im sad to say that its been almost 3 weeks that my mother and I haven't spoken to each other... for that exact same reason. She is so against my decision to get the LAP-BAND® (this coming from a lady who has never had weight issues in her entire life!). So she really doesn't understand where Im coming from and for that same reason doesn't support me. I've tried explaining it to her so many times but she doesn't want to hear it. And you know what? Thats fine with me. I have my health to worry about and I won't let anyone get in the way. Just do you...

Gastric bypass was not an option for me....I know 3 people that have had it done and all 3 almost died from it....including my mother!! Yes she recovered and was a success but it was never in my thoughts of having that procedure.

I read about lapband about 5 years ago and knew if I ever was to have weight loss surgery this was the one I wanted!! Took 5 years for me to get a job with insurance, but I have finally been banded!

Try not to listen to what others say about the band. You need to do what is best for you....and you have explained your reasoning well....So GO FOR IT!! Good luck:wink2:

Hi Lashonda!

Just remember you're doing it for YOU - and you are the only one that counts. It is YOUR health, YOUR happiness, YOUR life! Some people believe they're the "experts" and have all the answers. I am not banded yet, but am in the first stages of doing so. But, know that I am behind you, praying for you and wishing you all the best - YOU can do this YOUR way!!

~Lisa

I say AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And to hell with them, they don't know there not in our situation... I know I hate when I tell people and there first response is "You know its a huge lifestyle change" I am like no duh.. I mean how can you start this process and not know that it is....some people are just stupid and at least we can change the way we look but they can't fix stupid!!!!:sad:

Hi Lashonda,

Maybe the best thing for you right now should be to keep your decision to yourself. You are going through alot at this particular time, and if you tell someone and they are not telling you what you want to hear... then maybe just to don't tell them.

jm2c

Concentrate on yourself. This is a huge decision and you will need to 100% focus on only that. Keep only positivity in your life and you will be successful.

I have never had this response. While some people felt that I had taken an "easy fix" just by having WLS, they all changed their opinion when they learned just what we have to do to make the band work. Most people agreed that Lap-Band was a smarter choice because it may have less of an impact on the rest of my body in the long run. I wish you the best and hope that others see you for the positive changes you are making and not for the road you chose to get there.

Vent away, I totally agree, for this reason I have told very few people, I haven't told my mother because she is so negative, I'm sure she would know someone who had this and it didn't work, plus she and my aunt had gastric bypass years ago when it was new they did not have good success, and have had problems with their stomachs every since. My older sister had bypass more recently, and did have good success, but has always had the wrong attitude, from day one she would apologize because she couldn't eat very much, and would try to see how much she could manage to eat, so now she is gaining some of her weight back. Now because of all their issues and another person I know who actually had to have a stomach transplant after almost dieing from a bypass, I knew I would never do that, but the band seemed to be the answer for me. I just can't tell them because they don't understand the difference. Then I have another friend who iis jealous, I think she is actually depressed that I had this and she doesn't feel that she can, I now wish I hadn't told her, but I thought she would be happy for me, but now I feel like I can't even talk to her or I will only make her sadder:frown: then there is another friend I was not going to tell, because she is always trying to get me to go to weight lifting workout classes with her, and I try to explain I have problems with my joints and cannot do that type of workout, I do belong to a gym, and do workout on the cardio and circuit training(not enough, but as I lose weight I plan to get better), she is also into weight watchers, which I have tried and it didn't work for me, too much counting. So, the week I was going to have my surgery she was pressuring me to join WW with her and another friend, I told her I was doing something else and tried to leave it at that, she kept bugging me to tell her what I was doing, and when I didn't say she started guessing, she said "why won't you tell me, are you just having lots of sex to burn calories" :biggrin: anyway under pressure I told her, and the first thing out of her mouth was "I wish you wouldn't I don't approve of that" I told her well it is a good thing I didn't ask her and it was MY decision not hers! She left it alone but now every time she see's me she asks how much weight I have lost, it is none of her business! I told her I wanted to keep it private but she asks me in front of other people, plus I told her I wouldn't lose much weight right now because I haven't started getting fills yet but she doesn't seem to get it, this makes me so angry, and I have to see her several times a week:cursing: Why can't people keep their opinions to their self's:mad: Just venting along with you, sorry:wink2: Pam

It's good to vent....I need to vent and so should others. I am not afraid to tell people, but i do say one thing I hate the negative response I do get. I really hate when people say this is taking the easy way out, for me this is not an easy decision. So easy way out is a lie, it's a helping tool to me as I see it.

These sort of reactions is exactly why I have chosen not to tell anyone that I am even considering it, much less actually plan to do it as soon as I can get everything in place. My DH tries to understand, and will certainly honor my wishes, but he says eventually people will figure it out. I wouldn't lie about it if someone flat out asked me, but I just don't want to make it public yet...it is a very personal decision and I don't need (or want) the pressure of people constantly asking how much weight I have lost or judging me if they think it is too slow or too fast...

I never told my mother or daughter until after I came out of the hospital. It's my body and I have to look at it everyday...I have to take my clothes off and be happy with what I see. I gave them literature on the lap band and I also showed them my tiny scars. After they saw that I was moving around...they were ok.

I hope things get better for you, Lashonda23.

Keep up the good work!!

I understand your feelings, but it's not worth the angst. You're doing this for YOU, and don't owe anyone any explanations.

IMO, you're making a wise choice.

don't fret you made the right decision for you... people wonder why I didn't do the bypass... quite simple I didn't want to have the malabsortion problems or dumping issues that come with it... I didn't want to permanently alter my "plumbing" What if some thing changed in my life that required a different life style... what if something went wrong.... you can take the saline out later to attempt at self control if you choose... you can remove the device if something happens and it is needed.... Gastric Bypass is forever. The best way to show your doubting public is to have massive healthy success! So GO for IT! reclaim YOUR life!

The band is the BEST choice I ever made... I am so pleased with my choice.. it is not a magic solution we still have to work but the team I have behind me is wonderful! I am blessed!

I'm assuming these people have not had any type of WLS. If they haven't one easy way to get them to shut up is (next time they sy something like that) to turn to them and say "Oh, well, tell me all about your experience with gastric bypass and lapband, since you obviously know all about it".

I'm sorry you are having to deal with people's negative opinions. My aunt and I were just discussing this yesterday because I asked her not to tell anyone. She said to me, "I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. However, I think this a great decision that you are making for you, not anyone else. Be proud of the decision you have made, and if any one has a problem with it then eff them"

haha it made me happy because it's true. you could be tall and thin or have a great figure and there will be someone out there who has something negative to say.

keep your head up!