Letter from optimist, everyone falls

[bigbirney 3]

With all of the support I have received on here, and in my life, I figured it was my turn to pay it forward.

Most of us on here have unhealthy addiction to food. Its part of life, and part of our journey for better health. There are going to be times, pre-op, post-op, and forever that we fall, cave into a doughnut, piece of birthday cake, a few sips of soda. A week where we put on a few pounds. The key is to not beat yourself up, pick up and move on the next day, or next meal. Cheat is such a bad word, it reeks of failure and degradation of self esteem, many of us are already in short supply of this.

We are going to run into detractors, whether friend, family, or stranger, that does not understand what we are doing. There may be ridicule, but most of us have put up with it forever. At least now we can hold our heads up and know we are trying, to change our lives, and the lives of our families.

My mom died from Cancer when I was 17. I spent my whole life trying to fill a never ending hole inside of me. Blaming everyone else for my faults and mistakes. Thinking I was owed something. I tried to fill that emptiness with food, booze, and most drugs you can think of. Changing everything externally to find the happiness I sought.

Doing this surgery was hardest thing I have done. I spent better part of three years in hospitals watching people die. I have such a fear of death it was crippling me to the point of agoraphobia, and waiting to die and be dragged out of my house by a crane, while drinking every night and gorging on food.

When I started this road I did not know what to think. Some therapy, a great Dr., and much support has turned my life around. I am only down 50 lbs., but I feel like I have shed a gorilla. To anyone considering this surgery, look hard, go to a seminar, get into a support group. I have never been so excited about the future.

If one person finds some support in this I have succeeded.

With much love,

Eric

Edited March 24, 2010 by bigbirney

[Blaze21 5]

Thank you for sharing. Congratulations on the weight loss.

[DizzyLizzy 21]

Thanks for the encouragement & sharing your story and congrats on changing your life!

[mkmelissag 0]

Thank you so much, Eric. I really needed that today.