Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

Why won't some people consider the band?

Good afternoon, all. I've been lurking here since I was banded in September 2009, but this is the first time I've posted. Thanks to all of you who have been so informative and supportive as I've lurked.

Now that I've been banded for six months and lost 40 of the 50 pounds I want to lose (I was a self-pay patient, and am stuck at 10 pounds over my goal), I seem to have lost all perspective, because I don't understand why some people won't consider the band at all. It's been a miracle for me. Of course I understand that the cost is prohibitive and that not all insurance covers the band, but I'm thinking of several people I know through work with great insurance who definitely meet the insurance requirements who have said they would never consider the band. Why not? And what about celebrities like Kirstie Alley? Why not just get a band and be done with the yo-yoing forever?

So why won't some people consider the band at all, assuming, of course, that money is not the issue? Are they scared of going under the knife at all, for any reason? Do they see the band as admitting failure? I've heard some say it's just "too drastic," and one woman who is much younger than I am told me she just isn't ready to give up her old eating habits yet.

And my last question is this: of course I would never suggest weight loss surgery to someone who didn't bring up weight issues first, but should I be a little "ebandgelical" and try to persuade people to look into it, or should I just talk about what worked for me?

  • Replies 15
  • Views 1.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Featured Replies

I think part of it is how the general public views bariatric surgery. *I* think a lot of people look at us and say "well, if she really wanted to she could lose it, she's just not trying hard enough". Also, part of it was like giving up and accepting the fact that I could not, would not, cannot lose weight without assistance, permanent assistance. Some people may view that as failure and now be willing to deal with it.

Just my thoughts, everyone in my life has been supportive and I've yet to hear the "oh, I wish you hadn't done that" that so many of you have heard.

Good luck on those last 10!!!

Good afternoon, all. I've been lurking here since I was banded in September 2009, but this is the first time I've posted. Thanks to all of you who have been so informative and supportive as I've lurked.

Now that I've been banded for six months and lost 40 of the 50 pounds I want to lose (I was a self-pay patient, and am stuck at 10 pounds over my goal), I seem to have lost all perspective, because I don't understand why some people won't consider the band at all. It's been a miracle for me. Of course I understand that the cost is prohibitive and that not all insurance covers the band, but I'm thinking of several people I know through work with great insurance who definitely meet the insurance requirements who have said they would never consider the band. Why not? And what about celebrities like Kirstie Alley? Why not just get a band and be done with the yo-yoing forever?

So why won't some people consider the band at all, assuming, of course, that money is not the issue? Are they scared of going under the knife at all, for any reason? Do they see the band as admitting failure? I've heard some say it's just "too drastic," and one woman who is much younger than I am told me she just isn't ready to give up her old eating habits yet.

And my last question is this: of course I would never suggest weight loss surgery to someone who didn't bring up weight issues first, but should I be a little "ebandgelical" and try to persuade people to look into it, or should I just talk about what worked for me?

I would just talk about how great it is and show off how good you look! Generally people do not like a zealot, regardless of the cause.

We could be twins! Self pay at 195 pounds, 10/20/09, current 152. 40 years old.

I cant wrap my mind around it. I know people who could have it done free and won't take for free what I paid $10k for! My older sister is at least 350 maybe 400 her insurance would pay, she is a nurse so she knows the benefits verses risks and she wont even consider it. I cant help you with this one....

Why didn't you do it sooner? I'm not asking this to be snarky--I'm asking it so that you pause to think for a moment. We all struggled with weight long enough to determine that this was the change we wanted to make. But few of us arrived at the decision without struggle over a period of time.

Just because it was time for us--and the right choice for us--doesn't mean others have reached that stage in their journeys. And it doesn't mean it's the right answer for them.

Some are simply not aware that they are viable candidates for weight loss surgery. Others don't have the resources--either insurance or money or credit. Others don't believe in surgically altering their bodies. Others view obesity as a moral issue, and believe they are unworthy of this positive change because they lack the will to make the change themselves, some fear the stigma against bariatric surgery....the list of whys goes on and on and on.

Thank goodness we're not appointed to be ambassadors for banding! While we can all share our positive experiences, each and every obese individual has the right to make his or her own decisions---just as we did.

I am happy to share, with others, what works for me---and am glad that someone already banded did that for me when I was already considering the procedure. But I would never presume to be "ebandgelical" (ETA: LOVE this word!) unless directly asked.

I think that many people fear the unknown. I know myself I kept trying to do it on my own and last year I said "I'll try one more time on my own, and then I will think about the band", well, "on my own" failed once again and I looked into the band and never looked back! I am SO HAPPY that I did it. I do think that the more people who have it the less fearful people will be.

I was talking to a girl at work the other day, she noticed that I had lost weight and asked me how, I told her about the band. She is very overweight and she sad what she fears is losing weight, then having plastic surgery and getting keloid scarring. That wasn't my fear at all! I would worry about that if I needed plastic surgery but it wouldn't make me not lose weight because of it. That conversation showed me that everyone has different fears.

A few people I know are now thinking of the band since I did it, I think they wanted to see how it affected me and my life before they decided to take the plunge.

I have always wondered why Oprah hasn't done it. One thought to me was that having a weight problem and dealing with the challenges is part of her appeal to the general population. She may have more to lose than weight if she did it.

I am so glad I did, and I didn't know my insurance would cover it... had I known I may have done it earlier, but was I willing to give up my old ways... not so sure.... I know my opposition before was under the cloak of financial. but really I knew it would require change. I have encouraged a couple of people I know to go in ... but others are ... nope I could never do it. I guess it is just were we are at the moment and have we hit rock bottom yet... are others afraid of the stigma? Hummmm not sure.

I am glad I have done it.... I feel great in my size 10 jean this am!

That was me about 2 years ago.

My cousin had gastic bypass at the age of 23 about 4 years ago. She was 240lbs and about 5'2 in height. She is now 150 and looks great.

In my head, having surgery was admitting failure. And, I was not ready to do that. I also told myself that she could have done it on her own.

After losing and gaining the same 50lbs about 3 times in the past 2 years made me realize that it would be more of a failure to continue doing this to myself than to admit that I would greatly benefit from this device.

Part of the reason was also financial but that was slim compared to my mental block on it.

What finally did it was gaining back about 42lbs in a period of 9 months and seeing two of my co-workers have sleeves and loving it.

Over a period of 4-6 weeks I decided on it and now I will have surgery tomorrow. A little nervous but ready to do it.

I also wonder mainly about Kirsty Alley. She certainly has the money to do it, but I guess with her new show it is best to continue unhealthy and reap the financial benefits.

Dee

I agree with others who have posted. I feel that weight loss surgery can be compared to many other situations in life like abusive relationships and drug addictions. The individual themselves have to realize that there's a problem and be willing and able to make a change. I'm a nurse myself. I knew the risks of being 359lbs. I knew the risks and benefits of WLS, however it took me two years to finally decicde to have the surgery. My surgery date was 12/17/09. To date, I have lost 49 pounds. This, for me, is the most weight I have ever lost in a 3 month span in my life. I haven't seen my brother or my brother-in-law since the surgery until this week. One said, "Wow that really works, I can see the weight loss in the dark!!" The other said, "You've lost weight but I don't see it in your ass. You'll never lose it there maybe you should have done the bypass you would have lost more." I could be somewhat upset with the latter comment but why should I. I know that I'm doing what is best for me!!! At some point, we have to all come this point for ourselves.

Some people think they are above surgery, and that one day they will lose the weight on their own. I currently weigh 315. I don't know why I hadn't considered it sooner. Today, a co-worker and I were talking about weight loss. She was telling me how she is using a colon cleanser to lose weight. I asked her if she would ever consider surgery. She said she wouldn't because it wasn't "her." I think it hit me in December or 2009. I thought to myself "I NEED to lose weight."

So, I don't know. I hope the lap band works for me.

I've often wondered that as well. But I think it is such a big change for people and most people don't like a lot of change in their lives. Eating differently is a huge change when you are used to using food as a crutch your whole life. To not be able to eat like you used to is difficult to get accustomed to -- and for some a deal breaker. I think it does go to show the emotional element that eating has for a lot of people and they don't want to lose that. I think people have to deal with their issues first on why they overeat and battle that before they have surgery. Otherwise, they will trade one addiction for another -- and food is definitely an addiction.

I think that people who don't consider the band just aren't there yet mentally to finally make that choice. Some people want to loose weight, but don't want to change their day to day habits of eating and lack of exercise. While others are afraid of the complications of some sort of havng the surgery. Me on the other hand, I lost my mother 1 1/2 yrs ago and grew up with my mom being sick most of her life. The last yr she lost over 75 pounds due to dialysis. Over the years she had struggled with her weight and wouldn't you know it took a major illness for her to finally see herself thin, but she knew she was dying at that sametime. I myself don't want my son to grow up watch me be ill whether it would be diabetes or heart. I know I can still get these diseases, but weight is a major factor in these diseases and I feel that I must fight this before it can come to me....My sister is much heavier than me and has diabetes, heart problems, and high blood pressure and when I told her that I was going to use 2k of the money from the sell of my mom's estate to pay for the surgery she didn't understand saying I thought you had other plans for that money are you really sure you want to do it? I said of coarse I want to live a qualify life. Good luck everyone and thanks for the support. I get banded 4-27!!:laugh:

I think its fear. They have been fat so long that they are comfortable and know what to expect out of life and other people. Some people are high and mighty, they pretend they are happy being fat and if others have a problem they can go to he!!. but i think these people find themselves deaply sad or jeleous.

Ive had the band 6 months and have yet to feel restriction or lose any weight. i know if i get one more fill i am going to be in the zone. I am afraid, i am truly afraid to take the next step and i dont know when i will get over it and get my fill. But, i think i will get a push here soon.

I think its fear. They have been fat so long that they are comfortable and know what to expect out of life and other people. Some people are high and mighty, they pretend they are happy being fat and if others have a problem they can go to he!!. but i think these people find themselves deaply sad or jeleous.

Ive had the band 6 months and have yet to feel restriction or lose any weight. i know if i get one more fill i am going to be in the zone. I am afraid, i am truly afraid to take the next step and i dont know when i will get over it and get my fill. But, i think i will get a push here soon.

Did you have any restriction in the beginning? I am day 2 post op and I can barely get my Water in. I definitely feel restriction. When did your restriction go away?

well ur still swollen.... little goes in at first.. but that went away in a couple weeks, and 6 months later i can eat steak and pasta galore.

i was once one of those people who said "i would never do something like surgery for weight loss!". that's what i said to a friend of mine when she told me she was getting lap band. i felt like it was "the easy way out" or overly drastic to have a surgery just to lose weight. but after a year of me gaining and gaining despite my efforts to lose and watching that friend lose and lose something started to dawn on me. the band helps, but the person does the work. it's not "the easy way out" but a new way of life. a healthy choice. the more research i did the more sure i became about my decision to get banded, too. and you better believe that my friend taunted me about me having said "i'll never do that" just a day or so before i had my band put me. i was close minded and unwilling to realize that obesity really is a disease.

i know someone else who really needs some kind of bariatric surgery. he's prolly pushing 500 pounds if he's not already at it. and i know that's gotta be hard on him seeing as how he used to be so in shape and running marathons and etc. he is deathly afraid of surgery though and will not consider it all. i find it sad because his quality of life could be drastically improved. i mean, he has to buy two airline tickets to have two seats to fit him and get special made chairs for the office and home and etc. he's very wealthy so it's not like paying for the surgery would have him batting an eye. he donates more than that to various companies/places/charities all the time. but he's scared. so scared.

i'm glad i opened my eyes and chose to get my band. and i can't wait to start seeing the results in the mirror and noticing it when i do things like walk up stairs and don't get winded and etc. i know that i made the right choice for my life. to change it forever and make it better. :laugh:

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.