Victoriana

Bigotry in any form is disgusting. The problem is that bigotry hides itself so easily. eg, I dont hate fat people, but I stare at them because I cant believe that they let themselves go like that, all the while Im technically overweight, but not as obese as they. It is very hard to have a pure heart, we all have likes and dislikes, one prefers this and another that. What is called bigotry by one person is not bigotry to another. It could be more like politically correctness (is that bad grammar or what?). We need each other, our differences is what makes life real. I cant figure out why anyone would have the arrogance to say that what thier opinion is should stand as the best one. We are like light, the more we mix, the better we see. IMHO.:eek: :Banane30:

TOM, I do want the Ten Commandments to guide my life, and I am not the one imposing them on anyone, remember the author for the Ten Commmandments is God, they are imposed on people because we belong to Him. He has the right to impose and demand. (no offense to those who dont believe that He exist) Remember secondly, He paid a very high price for us so we are twice His.

It seems like the means justify the ends pretty well in Medveds article, which is the logic behind some of the liberal friends I have. The Ten Commandments are called the Ten Pretty Good Suggestions lol. Personally, I like my eleventh commandment " Thou shalt not should on thyself." But you cant say that very fast as it sounds too much like something else. I learned the hard way that living my life in eternal self criticism is a sad way to live. Thats why I like the Ten Commmandments, where nothing I think or do changes the absoluteness of something. Furthermore, thats why I love Christ, as He fulfilled the entire law for me. Now I dont have to should on myself anymore.

You are getting close to being the number one poster or post person. People cant become posters, lol.:eek: :biggrin1: Oh BTW, Ive been meaning to ask if you really ride a Harley and if you do, do you wear a helmet or a do-rag?:Banane30: :frog:

Thank you Letha g What a SURPRISE. I forgot how you might have known this till I remembered about our silly profile thingy. Im having a great day, we went to my favorite Chinese food place and my tummy behaved for me and this morning all my kids and my DH sang happy birthday through my closed bedroom door, (they were all ready before me to surprise an on time church arrival lol). So I believe the fifties are nifty, and I think I am just hitting my stride!! Thank you Letha.

The kind of pain I had was less than stubbing your toe. I mean have you ever kicked your shin? Well you got through that too! Everyone feels pain differently and different methods are needed for everyone. Try not to find yourself in these post. Your surgical experience will be all your own. Probably somewhere in the middle of what you will find on this board. One thing I would encourage you to do is to look beyond the surgery in your mind. The next day when you are home will be such a joy, that well, I did it. I DID it, I did IT!! Then the third or fourth day there comes the withdrawal of the anesthesia, some even feel it as a depression. As long as you know what might lay ahead, you wont be hit by the curve ball. You will find that over time, this is the sanest, most kind thing you could do for yourself. This is what I believe!

This website is the most helpful site I have ever found, as I have been able to overcome a lot of clutter and messes in my own home. www.flylady.com even has an e-mail system to prompt you if you are prone t be on the computer before getting responsibilities done. This womam is the real thing, she has a testimony about how she overcame clutter and such in her own life. Just take a quick look, Im sure you will love it, fly means F inally L oving Y ourself and she talks about chaos ... C ant H ave A nyone O ver S yndrome.. Humor makes a good medicine!!!:clap2:

Why dont you ask for a smaller dose that can be doubled to get the same mgs, or ask for a gelcap that could slide down better, I know there are lots of different fish oils, but if he is set on that particuar one, maybe it comes smaller. Its worth a try!

I have had so much counseling over the various phases of my life, it seems like I am a living melodrama. I say that only to recall a similar circumstance for me. I had to learn not only to set good boundries, but I had to learn why I wanted her approval so much. Its really natural, but when our mom isnt there to fill our needs we need to get them filled in other nurturing relationships, with people who understand your situation, and that they are safe people to you, not toxic, as it seems to be with your mom. It benifits us to love and honor our mom, as best we can without sacrificing our own dignity. When our mom cant be a true mother figure, we ache for that to be filled. This is where the difficulty setting boundries lies. It benifits us to sort of take the mothering roll in that relationship and nuture in reverse, and let our needs be filled by others. Some mothers are so unhappy with themselves, they are threatened by their own daughters, and the more you can nurture her, the safer she may feel, but dont expect it. Having any expectations from the relationship only serves to give the other person power over your emotions. I had to learn how to mourn the loss of that mothering relationship from mom, love her for the fact that she gave me life and then released her from fulfilling any of my emotional needs. I had to learn that she could only do what she knew how to do and meeting my needs was not a part of her skillset. I now have a relationship with my mom, its kinda wierd, nothing she says or does anymore surprises me even if it is a new twist. I find myself practicing forgivness internally almost consistantly when I am with her. She just lives in her moments and cant see beyond the present. When I let her off the hook, I find that many conversations meander to new topics (by my leading) and we just keep moving on. I feel sad for her, missing out on knowing the absolute real me, but I guess that sounds arrogant. Its not, its a coping mechanism. I have a lot of peace about our times together, even if they are somewhat contrived at times. Its the safe thing for me to do. A book that helps in setting boundries is an easy read and its called 'Changes that Heal' by the New Life Counseling group, headed by Cloud, Townsend and Artiburn. I feel for you, Mothers are sooo important. Best wishes!

I hate my sins too, and Im sad to say that I caused about 39 of the 40 lashes Jesus took to pay for my sins. I amazes me to think that He took the punishment for people who didnt choose His forgivness just in case they change thier mind and do choose Him. I find it hard to wrap my mind around that one, and ghettofarm24, I still find it hard to forgive the dodo that cut me off in traffic!!

Well TOM, you are her safe place and as Dr. Phil would say, her soft place to land. I would be irritated with my family too! Why is it so hard for people to see past thier own needs and put someone elses ahead for a season in thier life? I live far from my aging father and it pains me, I love and miss him so much and phone calls can only do so much. I am proud of my son and his wife, who is an elder care giver, as they have moved in with him for a while to help manage his meds and let me know when he has taken a spill or something like that. It will be all too soon and he wont be here anymore. I am glad your wife has the ability to visit as often as she does, even if the distance is far. I know that after her mom is gone, she will be able to hold her head high and look in the mirror without anything bothering her concience. Some of the grandchildren etc may learn this the hard way... I hope not. You have a neat wife.

I dont know anything about tummy tucks, but someone I know had a body lift and she had to wear a compression garment. I dont know what it does for you, but do you have to wear one? and I was wondering what it helps, is it for pain or swelling or what? and congratulations on the new you! You have done great!

You have just described me durring my first trimesters when I got preggers!!! Any chance of that? You dont have to answer but, hmmmm.

Sorry JQ, thats a bit too hard for me right now, but Ill be a cheer leader for ya'll!

I have one thing that I am always uplifted by... When I feel blue, I tell my DH and ask him to pray for me,(he knows I mean out loud).. and I just cant discribe the peace. It makes me cry to think of it, God I love that man. Hope you find what you need for her TOM.

This guy really is the worst of mankind. I am sorry to know of him. Period.

Can never be said often enough, we do appreciate this place!

Thank you, I have great peace and I just dont feel sad, honestly God and His grace is just amazing. Blessings my friends.

Have you tried a PM? I miss her too, she is so spunky and funny.

Just a thought, but being sad about your age is an acceptable outlet for being depressed. Its safe to be sad about it, but, could she be sad about anything else that might be underlying this? Its March and this is just about the time that people with SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder feel thier worst because of the long term loss of seratonin. And the body beginning to ramp up again because of longer daylight. I dunno, just a thought, and maybe you could take a few long walks in the sunshine to help with this naturally, as walking helps this also, its not just about the light. One thing that makes me feel young again at times is listening to the oldies, you know the link you put in for the juke box? Im listening to it and singing and music always lifts my spirits. Best wishes, and hope its tempory for sure.

I would ask if there would be a reduction in cost to you in addition to the excellent q's from Elisabethesews. How bout free?

How is this going Carlene? Just curious, I would like to add that since the pictures seem to be more important to the bride, could your grandaughter be a Jr Photographer, vidio person? She could go around and ask the attendees to give a blessing on camera to the bride and groom, and perhaps be in charge of taking pictures of the under 20 crowd. Why should she be left out, I see no excuses here.

There are a lot of us who didnt reallize at first that we were emotionally eating so much. Counseling with a good therapist will help. Some of us need antidepressanta, some need anti compulsive drusg as eating can become a obsessional compulsive disorder and there are others that need nutritional help because of sugar cravings. (Candida overuns and the like) I would encourage you to keep the band and seek counseling as well. Is there a supporrt group for bandsters near where you live? There are many steps to weight loss. Be proud of yourself for starting the process, and I would suggest that you keep you band, as one of the puzzle pieces that is already in place. I believe you will learn so much more about yourself. Getting the band in plalce is a big step and It is a very sane wls. Please dont undo what you have already done, stay in the fight, and we want you to stay with us, thats what this website is all about. Hold you head hi and know you are on the beginning of a journey, we all start is somewhere, you will do better as you know better!!! Overweight problems are hardly ever just one thing. The problem is usually a combination of things, not just black or white answers. You will learn how to integrate the good and bad things and reconcile yourself to many pitfalls that look as though the answer is all or nothing aproach. (I call that ants in the brain, All,or Nothing Thinking) so I want to encourage you to press on, the best changes one can make are the hard ones, the easy ones dont mean as much! You do good.

How wonderful! The eleventh hour is just as precious to the vineyard owner as is the first. May you help many elderly be ushered into His Grace. Blessings!!

OH TOM... Make nice, nice or your wings could get singed..