I'm really frustrated with my best friend and I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about it so I came here to rant into the abyss.
She said some hurtful things that I'm having a hard time letting go of. Every time we speak she comments about needing to get on track with her diet so that I don't pass her up. It sucks! I didn't realize that my role in our friendship was being the fat one and I guess it's important to her that it stay that way. She is also overweight but has never been morbidly obese. My current weight is probably about where her highest weight has been but she is less right now. Every time we speak she asks me how I'm doing with my weight loss and asks a lot of detailed questions most of which I'm happy to answer as we've been friends for 10 years. Then 2 weeks ago, she sent me a text saying that she doesn't want to talk to me right now because watching me lose weight and looking better is upsetting to her. She said it is triggering her eating disorder of which I was unaware. I responded compassionately even though I was upset and told her it was ok for her to be honest with me about her feelings.
I expected to give her some time and space and see how things go but she texts me almost every day with something sad and horrible about missing her mom or depression or anxiety or her wife or her son's behavior problems and it feels like she's leaning really heavily on me. This might just be a season in our friendship were she needs more support than I do right now. But it's hard for me to hang in there when she says unsupportive things to me and then expects me to just keep responding to 2am texts. Luckily for both of us she lives in another state so she never has to see the look on my face when she makes those comments.
I only told 5 people about my surgery: my mom, my 2 sisters, my husband and my best friend. She lives in another state and we probably only talk about once a month these days. I was counting on her as part of my support system.
She is going through a lot, like all of us. She suffers from depression, struggles with money, has some family issues and lost her mom a year ago. I love her and I worry about her. It makes me sad that I feel like our friendship is not healthy for me.