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Anyone thats ever had a traumatic event in their life can relate to what I'm about to say. I spent a lot of time in the counselors office talking about forgiveness. Forgiving your abuser and those who supported the abuse, either by denial or by complacency is more about healing you than giving that other person anything. I never once in this whole process ever thought about forgiving myself. I was watching a recent episode of Heavy and one of the counseling sessions was about forgiving yourself. There is so much guilt associated in childhood trauma, at least there was for me. I can honestly say that I have forgiven those involved, but I have never forgiven myself. Part of this journey for me is to work through the reasons I turn to food for comfort. Part of my realization is that I have not forgiven myself; I did not allow myself to break free from my abuse because of the guilt. I feel responsible for what happened, because I didn't speak up, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't make it stop. Why didn't I? Logic sets in and tells me it was because I was only 2,3,4,5,6,7 years old but my memories are processed through my mind, an adult's mind. I am mature enough to know it is wrong..now! But then? I remember saying " this is wrong" and him saying " why?" and I couldn't answer him because I didn't know. How could I not have known? These are the things I am working through...it's not a sob story, so don't feel bad for me. It's just my reality, one that I've lived with my whole life. I'm working through it now. I have no choice because I can't consume large amounts of food anymore to avoid working through them ( thank god!) I'm just telling myself every day that I have the right to what everyone else has and that.... It was not my fault! It was not my fault! It was not my fault!

Is my band too tight? How many times do we see this question? A lot so let’s talk about it. How tight you have your band is a personal preference. No one (including your doctor) can tell you how tight it has to be. This is something you have to decide for yourself. Personally my band is loose. The last time I had an x-ray my doctor commented that I didn’t have very much restriction. Oh well, it is what works for me. I have had 2 unfills because I felt my band was too tight, but I know now that it wasn’t. So how do I know if my band is too tight? I ask myself these questions: 1. Can I get water/liquids down okay? If YES not too tight 2. Are my bites the size of a nickel or smaller? If NO not too tight 3. Do I chew my food at least 30 times before swallowing? If NO not too tight 4. Do I wait 1 minute between bites? If No not too tight It appears that my eating habits cause me to think my band is too tight. When I eat correctly I have no problems. My advice to anyone wondering if their band is too tight is, evaluate your eating by asking yourself my four questions.

No, you are not nuts. Don't discount your feelings and you are indeed breaking up with food, but trust me, you will learn that food is NOT your best friend. It is your crutch maybe, but certainly not your best friend. It's what got you to this point, it's what got all of us to this point.. friends don't do that. It's like the old friends don't let friends drive drunk.. LOL (well, I tried! ) Let your husband be supportive as he knows how, you will find if he's supportive now, he will probably be even more so afterwards. Mourn food, it's ok to do that and start a new kind of relationship with it... Accept his support the way he is offering it, it sounds like he's trying. He probably doesn't know exactly what you are going through, how could he? He's not in your shoes..My husband has always been thin too and never struggled with is weight... BUT he saw me struggle, he saw me cry, he saw me hate myself and go up and down for years.... he shared that pain with me and he was there to hold me and remind me that he loves me for me too during those times. That was support! I was sleved 11/15 and I was very scared, but I'm doing great and I am glad I did it. Hopefully you will too. Feel free to reach out anytime for support, there is a lot of support here that was given to me and I'm happy to give it to you as well! Hang in there!! You are not alone, we are all in this together and understand!

i and the girls love YOU

Good luck! I'm supposed to get sleeved about the same time as you. Can't figure out how to add you to my friends list. If you know how, add me to yours. You are probably wise to do the liquids. My surgeon is not very strict either. He did say it will make things easier because rapid weight gain comes from your stomach and makes visibility better. So I'm with you, going to do it. After reading all these horror stories, I figure do everything possible. It's great that you are excited. After joining this site and reading all the things that went wrong, I have been thinking about canceling surgery. One lady sent me a great support letter so I printed it off and look at it when I start to freak out. Like you I'm not telling anyone about the surgery.

Congratulations! It's awesome fun buying new clothes. I keep on doing it In fact, today I went to a clothes store at a shopping centre because I wanted a pair of three-quarter length pants for work (it's summer here in Australia). The shop was having a sale with a whole rack of clothes going out at just $3 each! So I picked up a pair of slacks, shorts, a lovely sun dress plus the three-quarter length pants I went in for.

It's never ending.... This is a good reminder.... Thanks

its totally normal weeks 2 and 3 i didnt lose anything and then went back to losing with no problems i think it just takes your body a little while to adjust just be patient and dont stress!! good luck

Hi To be petrified at this point is what I would have been.You know,I think that pre-op we are sometimes plain stupid.I thought people that stalls,cheated...right?Now after my 3 week stall I know sooo much better. You just have to remember there are only 2 kinds of people on earth.Those who get it and those who dont! Of course the fear and the doubt will be part of your life until the leak is healed.You should just take this day by day,baby steps for now.Dont do too much.Be super gentle with yourself.Dont read stuff that seems unrelated to where you are at.If you need to vent tell people on the board thats stupid to get stuffed.You have the right to just be at the moment. And the one thing that everyone can be guaranteed of in life is that bad things will happen to us.At some point,to each and everyone of us.Today is your turn tomorrow might be mine. But this too shall pass.Lots of patience and careful living for now. I will pray that this whole ordeal can be over quickly for you to start enjoying this great new life that awaits you for the rest of your life. xxo