I'm almost 8 months post op now, and you would think that I would have this Head Hunger thing under control by now! But it seems that I still am controlled by the Head Hunger, and not the other way around.
I have been dreaming all day of Brown Sugar Cookies. So I finally made a batch. Then felt guilty, so I bagged them up and took them down the street to my neighbor who is getting over a total knee replacement surgery. He said he didn't need them either, but I told him better him than me!
I do OK when I have to work. I work night shift, and sleep days, and don't really have time to overeat when I am working. But this week, I have four days off in a row. And I spend my days, all day long, thinking "what can I eat?", "how soon is it time to eat?". It is driving me crazy.
I have lost 100 pounds, and am so proud of my weight loss, but I am scared to Death that I will stretch out my pouch and re-gain the weight I have lost. What will I do for clothes then? I have given away all my fat clothes. And I'm not a pretty sight naked!
I am trying to eat reasonably. I am trying to eat in a Healthful manner. But this craving for stuff I don't need/shouldn't eat is driving me crazy, today especially. I keep thinking about Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Cheetos, Ice Cream, etc. It is going to drive me NUTS!
I haven't posted anything on my blog for a while, because I always have to sit and get my thoughts organized and think about what I want to say. And quite truthfully, I have been to lazy to organize my thoughts and try to put them down in any coherant manner! But today I am taking a few minutes to sit and rest (have been cleaning house and baking all day long, preparing to go to work) and I thought, I really need to write down how I am thinking, doing, feeling, etc.
It is Friday, and it is my weekend to work. Have to work tonight at 7:00 PM till 7:30 AM tomorrow morning, and again tomorrow night and Sunday night. So my weekend will be totally taken up with work. Will get off Monday morning at 7:30 AM, and have a couple of days off.
I always get frantic before I have to work 3 or 4 nights in a row, trying to get my house clean, my laundry caught up, everything done that I know needs to be done, so that I don't have to worry about it while I am working, and think about getting it done when I get home. (I sleep at the hospital where I work when I work consecutive nights like this weekend. So won't even be home again till sometime Monday morning.)
Today I weighed myself and saw that I am still gaining and losing the same 2 or 3 pounds that I have gained and lost a gazillion times since the beginning of December. And I asked myself "WHEN am I going to get serious and really TRY to make it past this stall that I have been in for almost three months now?"
It is so easy to try "just a bite" of whatever is handy, or whatever I am baking, etc. And before I know it, I have eaten a couple hundred calories, just "trying a bite"! Today, I have decided that I need to get serious. I know, I have said this before, but today I mean it. I am starting to get concerned that I will never reach goal if I don't REALLY get serious about this whole weight loss thing. I mean, for YEARS and YEARS I have played the weight loss game. Lose a few pounds and then eat something that I know I shouldn't, and start the deadly weight gain again.
So today, I went to the (dreaded, filthy, overcluttered, badly needing to be cleaned out) basement, and hauled my treadmill and exercise bike upstairs, where I would have to see them EVERYDAY that I am home, and get on them and do something good for myself!
I just last week finished re-painting and decorating our bedroom, and there is now room for both of them in our bedroom. So I am placing them there, and going to MAKE myself get on each of them every day I am here at home.
Furthermore, I am also going to start a log, and keep track of how much time I put in on each. I used to have a boss that always said "that which gets measured gets done", meaning the things that are important to you to accomplish need to be measured to make sure you are making progress toward getting them done.
So fellow sleevers, wish me well! I need encouragement to get this thing accomplished. I REALLY WANT to make it to goal! I want to make a permanent change in my lifestyle and be healthier and happier. I just need to get off my behind and get serious, and get busy.
That's it for today. Hope you all have a great weekend!
(P.S. The baking I mentioned is for my daughter. I don't bake much for us anymore, cause I tend to eat it. I made pastries for her card party tonight, but they are ones that don't taste good till after they are baked, so I didn't even try them! Good for me!)
I have been waiting for nearly 8 months to write the following sentence "I have lost 100 pounds since last June!" And today is the day I can officially write it! WooHoo!!! 100 pounds gone off this fat old body! I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be able to do it. Daily when I get up and get on the scale, I am amazed, I mean, literally AMAZED that I can (have) lost this much weight.
Thank you Sleeve, Thank you Dr. Rodriguez, Thank you 401-K that I cashed in to pay for the surgery. Thank you to my cousin, (the bariatric surgeon and recommended the sleeve to me.) THANK YOU GOD for giving me the determination, guts, fortitude, etc to go through with the surgery.
And lastly, Thank you to Bill, a HUGE thank you to Bill, my husband, who although he didn't want me to do it, stood by me and went with me to Mexico for the procedure! Thank you Everybody!!!
The last 8-10 weeks the weight loss has been really slow, and at times, I was convinced that the weight loss period was over, and I wouldn't lose anymore. But as I step on the scale and see the numbers change ever so SLOWLY, I have seen a gradual weight loss that is SO Gratifying!
It seems I will gain and lose the same 1.5-3 pounds for days, some times it seems like weeks at a time, and then all of a sudden, I will loose a pound or two. When I was hovering around 170 pounds, it almost drove me crazy, 170, 169, 170, 168.5, 170, 169, 168, 170, etc., etc., etc. And then, all of a sudden I was 165. Now (I hope) I am FIRMLY in the 100 pounds lost column! I am sure I will do the same thing, up a pound, down a half pound, up a pound, down a pound and a half, etc. But I can live with that. I know that I have firmly hit one of my goals and even if I do the yo-yo thing up and down for a while, I know I will eventually come back down!
Anyway, just want to encourage all of you out there, who aren't quite as far down the road as I am. It will happen! It DOES happen! And boy, does it feel good! Keep rocking your sleeve. Keep on Keeping On. It does work! It does happen. And best of all, it feels SO good!
I don't have a new full length photo of me since I have lost so much, but am attaching (at least TRYING to attach) a photo of me just before the surgery (I am the one in the middle) and a head shot of me taken for Facebook recently, so you can see a little bit of the difference.
Well, I just had to write a few words about what happened today when I went to see my primary care physician. Let me tell you a little background first.
I am seven and a half months post op. I had my surgery June 18 in Tijuana, MX. And I am thrilled to no end with my results so far. Have lost right around 98 pounds. (It varies depending on the day.)
I was living and working in California when I decided that I wanted to have the surgery. I am a travel nurse, but my home is in Iowa. I traveled home to Iowa in June for a couple weeks off, then my husband and I were going to fly to San Diego and travel on to Tijuana for the surgery. I went to see my PCP the day before we flew to San Diego to get my meds refilled. I hadn't seen him again till today, so hadn't been in his office since June of 2011.
When the nurse called my name today, I got up to follow her to the exam room. As usual, she led me to the scale on the way to the exam room. In the past, I have frequently declined to get weighed, as I didn't want/need to be depressed by what it said. But in my new, current life, I am not afraid of the scale anymore. So I hopped up on the scale to see what it would say. (I had already weighed myself at home this morning and was 160 lbs without a stitch on!)
The digital readout of the doctor's scale said 162, which is about right, since I had a pair of jeans on and a pair of boots. The nurse went to write it down, and said "hold on a minute! What is your name again? What is your birthdate? When were you here last?" I told her my name, birthdate and that I was last seen there in June of 2011. She then replied "well who ever weighed you that day is an idiot! They wrote the wrong weight down. They wrote that you weighed 260 pounds!!!! I need to change that!"
I laughed and told her there was nothing wrong with the weight in the chart, that I had lost almost 100 pounds in the last 7 1/2 months. She was amazed and had all kinds of questions. When I told her that I had undergone a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy she didn't know what it was. So I gave her a short course on VSG.
Anyway, I guess I can count this as one of my NSV!
P.S. the doctor told me I looked amazing, and was SO encouraging. He thought I made the right decision and told me to keep at it.
I can't believe it has been 7 whole months since I was sleeved! It has gone so fast! And yet it seems that right now time is moving SO slowly! I know that you loose most of the weight in the first year, and I am SO anxious to loose the last few pounds I have to go. And I am getting nervous, knowing that I am over half way to the one year mark, when I will stop loosing. I want to get those last few pounds off while I still have time.
This past summer (when I was living/working in California) I swam for an hour every morning. Since moving back to (cold and frozen) Iowa, I can't swim on a daily basis. I joined a work out center last week, but am having trouble getting there on a regular basis. I work 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM, so evenings are out, and I sleep during the day. So have had to confine my work out times to my days off. I NEED to get off my rear end and get to the work out center on a more regular basis! The sad fact is that joining and paying your money does NOT do anything for weight loss or toning, IF YOU DON'T GO AND WORK OUT!!!
I also am trying to come to terms with what I am eating. To often I figure "will I can only eat a couple of bites of it, so I can't do THAT much harm, so might as well eat it.", instead of trying to eat healthy. I don't want to be one of those individuals who loose dramatically and then gain most (or all) of it back! I have a very good life long friend who had a Roux N Y done 7-8 years ago, and now has gained back almost all of her weight. I don't think she changed her eating habits a lot, and now she is stuck with a weight gain back to her (almost) original size. She is such a good friend, I feel so for her. After all she went through to have the surgery and then to gain most of the weight back!
I LOVE to bake and cook, so it is a daily struggle not to eat what I am baking/cooking. I am trying to follow the rule "always get my protein first". But some days the pastry, or cookies, or cake, etc seem to be shouting my name as loudly as they can! I know I have to STOP, but some life long habits are SO hard to change!
The good news is that I SO love being a Size 8, and I don't want to endanger it with weight gain! I also love all the compliments I have received on my weight loss since the surgery. I don't ever want to weight 258 pounds again!
I am beginning to think that maintenance is harder than weight loss! The loosing period has been a relative breeze, it is the whole maintaining thing that is going to drive me crazy (and believe me, crazy is not a far trip for me!).
Anybody have any good tips for maintenance?
I can hardly believe it, I am only 9 pounds from goal now! I am six months and 13 days post op, and have lost a total of 99 pounds! (I need to update my weight loss ticker!) I almost broke my husband's ear drums this morning when I got on the scale. He was in the shower and I came into the bathroom to step on the scale before I got dressed and fixed breakfast. When I saw that I had lost three pounds this week, I let out a yell that scared him to death and almost broke his eardrums! He told me he thought someone was attacking me!
I have been so gratified lately to see that I now fit perfectly into a size 8! My size goal was a 10 or 12, so when I hit Size 8 I almost lost it completely! ANd now my 8s are getting big on me! Hurray!!!
I told my sister that I am going to have to find thinner friends and realtives. I have been giving my clothes to her and to one really good friend as they get to big for me. Have given away 9 or 10 pair of jeans that were hardly worn, as I changed sizes so quickly. And now am getting close to being a size 6! WooHoo!
How Sweet it is!!!
Well, Merry Christmas Sleevers! I am happy to report that I survived the Christmas pressure. If you read my previous blog entry, I was stressed to the max about all I had to do. With the encouragement of several who commented on my entry, I tried to slow down and enjoy the journey and not stress about the destination. I am happy to say that all 25 people showed up, and we had a lovely day. The grandkids were wired (from to much sugar and too many presents,) but still were fun to have here. The food (I did fairly well staying on my high protein, low carb, low, low sugar diet plan) was great, Prime Rib, Cheesy Potato Cakes, Yummy Spiced Green Beans, Homemade Rye bread, Scalloped Corn Casserole, Broccoli, Raisin, Bacon Salad, Tossed Salad, Cinnamon Rolls, all kinds of raw veggies to munch on and of course endless sweets, cheese and crackers, nachos, etc. But my Mom (age 90) was here, along with my brother and sister, all four of our kids, their spouses and the grandchildren, my husband's sister and spouse, his parents, and several good friends. Had such a good time. I am still cleaning up from all the meals (had company for breakfast, lunch and dinner) and enjoyed it to the MAX. And happy to report that this morning I weighed in and I lost another 1.5 lbs. I am so excited, I am only 12 pounds from goal now. It is getting closer and closer, and I am just plain thrilled.
Also am going to come clean about my struggle with my hair loss. Around 3 months post op (I am now 6 months post op) I noticed that my hair was getting thinner and thinner. You could see my scalp, and I spent hours before work trying to arrange what was left to cover the bald spots. Finally I bought a wig! And I love it! Everyone at work kept saying "did you style your hair differently? It looks so cute!" For a while I was telling everybody that it was a wig. Finally one of my co-workers said "stop telling everyone it is a wig. It is your hair, bought and paid for, just say 'thank you' when some one tells you they like it." So that is what I do, I just say "thanks, I like it too." So for all you sleevers who are having concerns and/or struggles about thinning hair, or outright hair loss since your surgery, it's not that bad. I think my wig looks very natural, and it cuts down the time I need to get ready for work by 1/2!!!
I am taking prenatal vitamins daily, eating well, taking my protein supplements, taking Biotin and B vitamins, using Nioxin shampoo and hair treatment, using Minoxidil solution on my scalp, and trying to think positive about my hair re-growth. But I have to say, I would rather be bald and thin(ner) than hairy and fat! I love my new body, even if it has less hair than I woud like!
Well, I have to say, the post op doctor's visit was ...... well, it was different. Since I had my surgery in Mexico, and paid for it myself, there have been NO post op visits with the surgeon. His office did call me once, and I talked with his staff person about my exercising, but haven't seen a doctor since the week after my surgery. (I was running a fever for a few days starting on day 4 after my surgery. So went to see my PCP at home, and get on an antibiotic. He couldn't find the source of the infection, but after $500 worth of lab and x-ray put me on an antibiotic, and the problem was resolved. Then I flew back to California to go back to work, and haven't see any physician since.) My PCP told me when I saw him at four days post op that I should have a cholesterol level done in 2-3 months, to determine if I needed to go back on my anti-cholesterol medication. So I finally found a physician I felt comfortable with and made an appointment. (BTW, WHO KNEW IT WOULD TAKE ME 2 MONTHS TO GET IN TO SEE A DOCTOR FOR A NON EMERGENCY APPOINTMENT?)
But this past Tuesday morning I hauled my rear end out of bed at 6:00 AM (I am NOT a morning person!!!), showered, did the hair and makeup thing and took my fasting body to the doctor. I came prepared with a list of my current medications (all two of them!), a copy of my op report for her to put in my chart, a copy of my weight loss chart to show that I have been losing, a list of questions, etc. And guess what I forgot? MY INSURANCE CARD!!! How stupid can I be, I mean, REALLY! Since they wouldn't see me without it, or without my offering to pay for the entire appointment IN CASH, I turned around and drove the 15 miles back to my apartment and rumaged around and found the card. Drive back to the doctor's office, and wait.
Finally got past the waiting room, got weighed (OH HAPPY DAY! 170 lbs!) and in to see the doctor. After all the BP and Temperature, pulse, talk about the surgery, etc, she asked me "now what is your plan when you reach your goal, especially if you can't stop losing weght?"
Wow! Talk about a profound question!!! I hadn't even thought about that scenario! I mean, I have always, Always, ALWAYS been the fat girl, never the one who was TOO skinny! What do I do if I am at goal and still loosing? I didn't have an answer for her, and thought about it all day after the appointment. I finally came up with the answer. I will switch from Venti SKINNY Iced Carmel Machiatos at Starbucks to Regulars! I know, it's not that funny, but hey, like I said, that has NEVER been the problem before! I simply can't wrap my mind around the problem of what if I lose to much, or can't quit losing. I guess I will have to start eating empty calories again if that happens. No, really, I guess I will add another protein drink to my diet, or something, or something like that. But hey, that would be a wonderful problem in my book!
Anyway, after the appointment concluded, I went to the lab and had 9, Yep that's right, NINE tubes of blood drawn, and went on my merry way. Am still mulling over her question. I am 20 pounds from goal, so I guess it is one that I need to give some thought to, and maybe make a plan in case to much weight loss is a problem. (Again, five days after the appointment, I STILL can't wrap my head around loosing to much weight!) For years, whenever my (fat) friends and I would talk about somebody who had an eating disorder (loosing too much, Not to little) we would jokingly say "I just want to be bulimic (or anorexic) till I get down to 20 or 30 pounds BELOW my ideal weight, then I will eat my way back up to perfect!" And we would laugh and laugh, as we sat there eating our calorie laden munchies! But now, comtemplating it as a REAL problem blows my mind.
So anyway, that is my post op visit in a nutshell. I am still waiting to get my blood work results. But am thankful every day for my sleeve and the wonderful results I have had so far post op! Thanks to each of you who have posted problems, fears, joys, NSVs etc, as you encourage me daily, help me to continue on this path, and light the way with your experiences for those of us who are right behind you in our journey! Have a GREAT weekend. Later.......
Woozers! Nine days till Christmas and I am SO busy! And of course with all the baking and cooking I am doing, it is SO hard NOT to sample, Not to graze, not to try "just a bite"! It is driving me crazy.
We arrived home (in Iowa) from California (where I have been working the last year and a half) on the 7th of December, and I feel like I have been on a treadmill ever since. My new job started on the 12th of December, and tonight I start Five nights in a row of 12 hour shifts. I wish I hadn't been SO agreeable when they asked me if I could work all these shifts. I have baking left to do, Christmas Cards left to address, sign and mail, LOTS of shopping left to do (hadn't done any Christmas shopping before I left California!), my house to clean and a meal for 20 on Christmas Eve to figure out yet!
My eldest daughter wants me to come to her house next Wednesday (the next free day I have!) and bake Christmas Cookies with her two boys, stay overnight, come home and get ready for all the overnight company that is coming on Friday.
I feel like I am going to explode from the pressure of all I have to do. AND I am still trying to eat healthy, make sure I get enough protein, enough water, take my vitamins, etc.
Tomorrow will be my 6 month Surgiversary! I have lost a total of 94 pounds since June 17, gone from a size 26/28 in tops to a 14 or a size large. Gone from size 24 pants to an 8! I have had SO many wonderful comments on how nice I look. It really thrills me! Just wish I could get off the treadmill and enjoy it a little.
The down side is that my hair has gotten so thin (never thick to begin with!) that I finally shaved my head the other day. I have purchased a couple of wigs that I think look really natural and love the way they look on me. So yesterday I told my hubby, give me your clippers (he shaves his head!) and I did mine. It looks weird when I take my wig off, but with it on, I think I look pretty good.
Oh well, I am going to slow down one of these days and enjoy all the blessings in my life, the biggest to date is my new and improved body!
Here it is, November 15 already. My work contract is done here the 30th of November, so I will be moving home in just two weeks. I have such mixed feelings about moving home. I miss my hubbie terribly, but on the other hand, I have enjoyed being independant, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, etc. It will be different when I have to consider his wants and needs again. I have been living and working here in California for over a year, and now am moving home again, And this time when I move home I weigh 90 pounds less than I did when I last lived at home. My whole life style has changed! Although I still love to cook and bake, I can't eat like I used to, and the things that I fix are more health geared than ever before. How will my family react to this?
Hello all you fellow VGSers. How are ya all doing today? I am sitting here at the computer, killing a few minutes before I have to get on the road to see my doctor for my 4 month post op check up. So far, I think I am doing GREAT! I feel good, I have lots of energy (well most days) and Love, Love, LOVE the way my weight is dropping! I am now down 83 pounds since my surgery on June 18! It seems absolutely amazing to me that I could have lost that much! I love it that the size clothes I am wearing is also dropping. If you read any of my posts shortly after my surgery, even when I hadd lost 30-40 pounds, I was still wearing the same size clothes, and I was wondering if my scale was really weighing me correctly, or if I had lost all that weight off my fingers and toes! Most recently I purchased (and am wearing) size 12 jeans. I only have the one pair of Size 12s, so I will most likely wear them out by the time I get to size 10, cause I wear them every day, and wash them every night before bed! I can't bear to wear any of my 14s!
I recently experienced a stall, for over a month! I would gain a pound, lose a pound, gain 1 1/2 pounds, lose a pound, gain, lose, gain, lose, etc. So I started drinking my protein drink on a regular basis, and have tried REALLY hard to eat the way I know I should, instead of cheating with little bites of empty calorie foods. And the weight loss has resumed and is now more regular. I lose like a pound every two to three days, so I lose about 2 and a half pounds a week. I still have 25-30 pounds to lose (maybe 35-40 depending on how I look when I get to my original goal). And I am content to do it at 2 and a half pounds a week.
Well, have to get dressed to see the doctor. Hope you are all having a wonderful day!
OK, this is the LAST time I am going to try and update my blog! I have written this three times, and each time when I hit the "Post" button, it disappears! If it doesn't work this time, forget about it.
I have been saving my loose change since Christmas, and took it to the bank last week in anticipation of flying home earlier this week. ($320.00!!!) As soon as hubbie picked me up at the airport, I told him I wanted to go to The Blond Genius. It is a retail store in West Des Moines, IA that specializes in fitting anybody in jeans and making them look good with a great fit. They are pricey, but they always look good. Their slogan is "We Can Fit ANY Body!"
So we headed to West Des Moines, and I went in ready to spend my cash. I told the sales clerk I had lost about 80 pounds recently, and didn't know what size to try on, but maybe to start with a size 16 or 14. She brought four or five pair into the fitting room and I started to try on jeans. She asked to see each pair, and finally she said "these are all to big on you, let's try something else." She brought back a bunch of jeans and I tried on size 12s! I thought "never, no way, no how". But guess what? They zipped up easily and looked GREAT! I was so thrilled, I had to sit down right there in the dressing room and cry for joy! (Am sure the sales clerk thought I was Crazy, Nuts!) I don't think I have ever worn a size 12. I went from children's sizes to a size 16 womens with no pause in between for smaller sizes! A 12, I can't believe it! How great is that! I am thinking of making a sign that says "I wear a Size 12 now!" and hanging it on my back just so the world will know!
When my husband came to pick me up at the airport, he drove right by me, he didn't recognize me at first! Had to back up the car when he realised it was me. I have to say, my sleeve is the best thing I have EVER done for ME! Anyway, all you VGSers who are in a stall or not loosing as fast as you want, hang in there, the (NSV) rewards are SO worth it!
Last night at work was SO good for my ego. I had three different people at work tell me how great I looked. My Husband (God love him!) has always told me I look good, but rarely (?never?)has anyone else mentioned to me, out of the blue, how good I look. Last night at work. I had three different individuals come up to me and tell me they noticed how I had lost a lot of weight, and that they just had to tell me they thought I looked great. One of them was this tiny little doctor who can't weigh much over 100 pounds herself. She told me "not to overdo the weight loss thing"! Not that I will ever be as tiny as she is (she is only like 5 feet tall, and probably weighs all of 110!) When I told her I had another 35-40 pounds to lose she asked me "where? off your big toe?"
Now my friends and co-workers, who know what I have done, have been very supportive. But these were people who didn't necessarily know that I had been sleeved, but just realized that I had lost a bunch of weight. All three of them told me how fantastic I looked. I had one of my new pair of shorts on when I went to work, and one of them told me that my legs looked absolutely great with my nice tan! I almost floated clear up to the ceiling I was so thrilled to hear somebody give me a compliment like that!
In the future, every time I get discouraged about not losing fast enough, not being able to eat all I want to eat, every time I hit a stall, anything, I am going to replay that memory in my brain's DVD player to remind myself how great it is to look and feel good!
I am going home for a ten day visit in about 2 1/2 weeks, and am hoping to loose a few more pounds before I go home. My husband is excited to see me. He has NEVER known me at this weight. I weighted around 200 when we met, got married, and all our married life (41 years!). So he can hardly wait to see me. I was just at the 200 mark when he left for home in August. He said he is going to get a sign that says "Kathy Warren" on it and hold it up when he picks me up at the airport, like limo drivers do when they are picking up someone they don't know, since he is convinced he won't know me! Funny Man!
I am just a little over 180 now, and hope to be in the 170's by the time I fly home. And I can't wait to fly home. For years now I have HATED to fly, cause I had to ask for a seat belt extension (SO embarassing!), and then I sort of "spilled over" into the seats on either side of me, if I was in the middle seat. This time there should be NO "spill over"! And certainly no seat belt extension needed! The last few times I flew, I even went to far as to purchase a first class ticket, so that I would have the advantage of the larger seats and more room in First Class. Now I love to fly First Class, BUT it is so pricey! Am loving the savings that I am going to get by being able to fly economy, but of course, will miss the individual attention and service that comes with First Class! But I keep telling myself, I can fly home more often when it doesn't cost as much!
Well, should close. I only slept four hours and then woke up. Am going to try and get back to sleep for a few more hours, as I have to work all night again tonight. Hope all you Post Op sleevers and potential sleevers are having a Great weekend. The weather here in the Central Valley of California is great. Hope you are all outside doing something special.
Well, I have written this two times previously and lost it before I could post it, so am praying that the third time is a charm! I am sure it is something that I am doing wrong, but I get SO frustrated when I spend 20 minutes writing this out and then losing it before I can get it to post. I guess I am just not computer savy enough!
Today is Friday, the 9th of September, and tomorrow is my 12 week surgiversary! I will be 12 weeks out tomorrow. I have lost a total of 74 pounds. I lost 20 pounds prior to the surgery, on the pre-op diet, and have lost 54 pounds since the surgery. The fatigue that plagued me for weeks after the surgery is finallly gone for the most part. And the nausea that I struggled with off and on for several weeks is also a thing of the past. I am just SO happy to have my old energy back, and feel good!
None of my old clothes fit me at all. I sent four huge boxes of clothes home with my husband when he came to visit me the first part of August. (I live in California, am a travel nurse and am working here on contract. Have been living and working in CA this time, since last October. My contract runs through the end of November. But my husband and I make our home in north central Iowa.) He stayed two or three weeks, and I sent all these clothes back to a friend who is about the size I was prior to my surgery. Some of them were practically new, a couple still had price tags on them! She was thrilled to get them and I was thrilled to get them out of my closet.
While he was here, I went out and bought a few new things, as I had to hold my pants up when I walked, so they didn't slide down and off completely! Now I have lost enough that I have to do it again! So yesterday I made a trip to the local Lane Bryant and Dress Barn and picked up a few new things. I was looking for shorts, since it is still in the upper 90's and occasionally 100's here in the Central California Valley. Since it is the end of the season, the pickings were few. But when I was at Dress Barn, the sales clerk found three pair of Size 16 Misses shorts! I mean I haven't worn Misses sizes in at least 30+ years! What a thrill! Also had to purchase a couple new bras, since the majority of my 74 lb weight loss seems to have been off my bust line. All that is left in that area are two empty sacks of skin! But when I roll them up and put them in the bra cup, I have a very modest bust line!
In the past when I was trying to loose weight, my mother would always try to encourage me by saying "nothing tastes as good as thin feels". Well, I got to the point that it drove me crazy when she said that, cause I LOVED to eat, and nothing could beat how good some things tasted to me. But I am finally at the point where I can see that what she was saying was right. I seem to have lost my sweet tooth since the surgery, don't even like the taste of sweet things now. And I have to admit, being thin (well thinner anyway) does feel SO VERY GOOD!
I want to get down to 150 pounds, so have a little over 30 pounds left to loose. But am thrilled with my progress so far. I would never have worn shorts in public before. I didn't want anyone to look at my fat thighs! Now I wear them to work! (Have to change into scrubs when I get to work.) I am still hesitant to wear anything sleeveless, as my upper arms are SO flabby! So often I wear a sleeveless top and a little sweater shrug over it to hide my upper arms. Would give anything if the skin on those upper arms would shrink and tighten up, but am not expecting miracles!
I tried something else yesterday that is new to me. I have always wanted to be nice and brown for summer. But I just don't tan. I seem to have two colors, white, which I am most of the time, and red, which I turn when I am out in the sun for very long. Then I peel, and am white again. So yesterday I went to the beauty salon for my monthly cut and color and noticed they had a sign saying that they do spray tanning now. So I asked my operator if there were any openings and they had one. So I got naked (!?!) and they sprayed me! Before my weight loss, I would NEVER have gotten naked to be spray tanned. Not for anything in the world!!! And guess what? I love being tan! I think this is something that could become addictive! My roommate (who tans beautifully!) was stunned when I came home. But I definitly think it is worth $35.00 to feel so good about myself.
Well, enough of my ramblings. Hope everyone reading this has good plans for the weeken. I have to work Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night. So kknow what I am doing this weekend, work and sleep. Have a GREAT weekend!
Have spent the day baking. I was supposed to be packing up my household stuff, in anticipation of my move back home the end of this month, but I just CAN'T get into packing. I keep thinking "what if I need this before I move, I 'll just have to unpack it and then pack it again". So I don't pack it to begin with.
My husband arrives in three days, (To help me move home) and he is going to be disappointed that I am not farther along than I am. I am a travel nurse and have been living in California for the past 13 months, and now am moving home to the frozen tundras of Iowa for the winter. YUCK! I hate Iowa in the winter. But he is so lonely and wants me to come home. So what can I do?
So to kill the day, I spent the entire day baking. I made three different kinds of cookies, and a puff pastry creation know (in Iowa) as Dutch Letters. They are a puff pastry with sweet almond filling. And to make matters worse, I sampled some of each one! Here I am, trying my best to reach my weight goal, and I am baking like a fiend! I have GOT to quit baking and eating! The Dutch Letters by the way were fantastic. They are labor intensive, and I don't make them very often, but today seemed the day to do it! (At least when I got done baking, I took the cookies and Dutch Letters to the hospital where I am working and left them in the break room for everyone to eat. There is NO way I could eat all that stuff, although some days I think I might give it a try.)
Anyway, I was so gratified to get on the scale this morning and see that I have lost four pounds this week. I am within 19 pounds of my original goal weight. But now am thinking of revising my goal down another 10-20 pounds. Is that crazy? I am five months post op, as of yesterday, and as I get closer to my goal, I think about being thinner than I originally planned. I am down from a size 26-28 to a size 12, and size 10 is getting closer all the time. In fact I can get a size 10 on, it is just tight. Of course if I keep baking and eating I can kiss size ten goodbye for good.
Some days the "Head Hunger" just gets to me. I think that is what today was all about. I was hungry and I didn't know what I was hungry for. So I just started baking and sampling what I had baked. And to top it all off, I re-watched "Julia and Julie" on DVD while I was baking. That doesn't do a lot to encourage me not to eat!
Enough of my ramblings about baking, food and watching TV. I am going to bed. Happy weekend all you VSGs!