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Blog 97014
 

Doing leg 2 in a Triathlon this May!

OK, I remember vividly last year's Triathlon; my son's first and a chance for my husband, daughter & myself to volunteer for cancer victims. I can remember how completely out of place I felt, even with all the volunteers....the fattest person waddling amongst thousands of athletes. I had my camera & took shots of everyone being active & participating, while my body ached from all the effort. I felt so disconnected, so out of place. I hated that day, first time ever to admit it. I was so envious of all the regular people who took a huge leap and committed themselves to something way outside their comfort zone! I wanted to be out there with them...but I could barely walk. As I said, I will never forget that day. And now a year later, that day is coming again. This year, I am not just 65 pounds lighter, but I am leg 2 of the triathlon on a team raising money for a 4 year old boy who has cancer! Same team my son raced for last year! I have had to walk away from this blog several times because I keep crying! I am so happy to be where I am health wise and so happy to be able to contribute! This has absolutely been a life changing experience for me. I am so thankful. What a difference a year makes!
Seanamw

Seanamw

0
Cleosan 52- Sandy
 

My Ah-Ha Moment

Well actually, I had two ah-ha moments, one before surgery and one after. My wake up was our vacation in July of this year. We went to a beach and shared a condo with family. My husband and I slept on the pull out sofa for two nights. I just wanted to die! The pain I felt in my back, hip and legs was unbearable. On the last night, he went and bought an air mattress but the damage was done. I was in full- blown pain.   Hubby went and got me some pain meds but all he could find (that I wasn't allergic to) was a night time one that made me drowsy and loopy. So here I am, at the beach, under the umbrella, feeling like Shamu, watching my family members play with my kids. I felt so helpless, useless and fat! On that beach, in NJ, was the moment I promised myself that I was gonna get myself under control before I died and let my family without at wife and mommy.   When we got home, I called the Bariatric Center at my hospital and the rest was history. Everything just came together. God was directing my steps. From start to finish, my surgery process was 3 months. I started at 324 lbs on that beach and this weekend I reached my holiday goal of 255 lbs. That makes a 71 lb loss, and a gain of energy and best of all NO PAIN!!!!   But my second ah-ha moment was over this weekend also. I had a mini break down. My husband taped the kids Christmas program at church ( by the way, they were just the cutest and blessed my heart) but he put it after our 5 yr old's first day of kindergarten. He was real excited when I came home to show me. Something like," you got to see this, see how much weight you lost!!!!", excetra.   I was watching me on this tape, and I just wanted to weep. I think I am still shell-shocked. To think that was me on the tv just broke my heart. I was a dead woman walking. Even now, I can't believe how much I was fooling myself. Never in a million years did I see myself so big.   I thank God that I had this opportunity to change my life.
Cleosan52

Cleosan52

4
Cleosan 52- Sandy
 

1-3mo updates

One Month update: I can't believe that today makes one month after surgery. I have so much to be thankful for! First, my God and family, they have been my rock though all of this. Second, for this surgery and how it has changed my life in just this short time.   I have had no complications with surgery or even recovery after. It seems very surreal right now, like did I really do this, but I look at the scale and see 24 lbs gone, look at my closet and see all the 30/32 size clothes gone along with most of my 26/28. I eat 3 oz of soft foods and feel full. It has become a neccessity not a way of life or enjoyment. I'm rediscovering how much fun it is to play with the kids or even do yardwork with hubby and not have pain or feel guilty that I can't help him. I could go on and on of how much more I can do now. And do you know this best part? This is just the beginning!!!!!   So today, I am a very thankful woman, enjoying the blessing that I have been given.       (If you have any doubts on if this is the path for you, please pray, let God direct your steps in this journey, then go to your Dr and tell him " I want the sleeve!!!!")   Two Month update: Almost 2 months out for me and I've lost 33 lbs since surgery, which was Oct 25 (figured I would update now because next week will be CRAZY!!!). I weighed in at 258!!! So I'm in the 250s now, very excited! When I first started, I wore a size 30/32, bra size 50H, panties 12 and shoes 10 1/2, sometimes 11. Now I am wearing 22/24 tops, 22 reg or 20W bottoms, bra size 44DDD, panties 10 and shoes 9-9 1/2!!! I can't wait for the next two months!!!I am a bit of a scale junkie, get on daily but only record my losses. I also set mini goals for me. Like the first month, I wanted to lose 20 lbs. Goals work good for me, gives me something to work towards. If I don't met a goal, it gets me back on track, and I can analyze what happened and learn from it. My next goal, well actually I have three First, I want to be 255 by Christmas, only 4lbs away now. Second, I want to be 250 by the end of the year, 9 lbs to go. Third, I want to be 244lb by Jan 28th, that is my 3 month check up at the dr, and I would have lost 33% of my excess wt, which is my dr's goal for me at that time.   Three Month update: Having a great time at three months. I went into to the dr office feeling pretty good. I weighed in at 240lbs which is the dr's goal for me. I have to admit, the protein shakes are getting on my nerves. I can't stand the taste of them now, they seem too sweet. I have been losing hair so I chopped it all off but the NUT said that should work itself out at 6 months. And get this!!! The dr wants me at 200lbs next time he sees me which will be at 6 month update! What the heck, I was in high school last time I weighed that much! So after I passed out, the NUT told be 220 was doable, I'm going to shoot for 210            
Cleosan52

Cleosan52

2
Paul11011's Blog
 

Milestone reached

Well this afternoon at about 4:30pm one of my first goals on this journey was achieved. I have now passed the 100lbs lost mark. This is from my initial consultation date on 11-23-2010. I lost 36 lbs from that date until my surgery on 1-10-2011 (9 weeks ago) and have lost 67lbs post-op for a total of 103lbs gone. I know I have a long road yet to go but man this feels great!
Paul11011

Paul11011

1
Blog 76073
 

WOOHOOOO! FINALLY!!!

AHHH! I'm so excited! I got the call today! Last Thursday I had called the insurance company (as mentioned before) and then Friday I called the surgeon's office. The coordinator told me she hadn't received anything yet, and even when she did she had to submit it again, for some reason. She told me that they technically had 6 weeks to approve/deny and then it took around a week for the second approval, so I was pretty bummed out - even though I knew the first approval should have been on the way to their office. I was feeling pretty crappy about it after that, and just kept reminding myself I needed to be patient. I was content, once again, thinking that my surgery could be 4-6 weeks away still. BUT THEN! Today I was at the grocery store and got a call from the program coordinator! She said they got the first written approval and wanted to schedule the surgery. She said the second approval takes about a week, but since I have to do the liquid diet we could go ahead and schedule it for 2 weeks! Surgery will be on March 30th!!! I'M SO EXCITED! I have spring break from school all next week, so I was hoping to hear all of this last week and be banded next week, during vacation, but I'll just make my instructors aware of my need to be out for a couple days! Ohhh, I'm just so relieved! And now I'm starting to get nervous! haha. I stocked up on sugar free jellos and puddings today, and I'm going to get my protein drinks out. I start the liquid diet on Wednesday! Heeeeerrre we gooooo!
PinkFish

PinkFish

3
bugwitch's Blog
 

Empty

So, I just finished my two final exams and I am pretty sure I failed them. No, don't give me any of that, "It's better than you think" crap. I know my own abilities and I know what just happened...and what just happened was one big steaming pile of sh!t. For each exam, my brain and body were just empty. I felt like I couldn't understand what the questions were asking. I felt so lost. During the second exam, I couldn't focus at all and found my mind wandering between pondering the questions, starting to panic about finding a job because I won't be passing this quarter, and not having the money to pay for surgery next week because I'll have to save it for rent!...assuming I can even pay rent to begin with. I'm really lost right now. I titled this blog post 'Empty' because that is kind of how I feel. My mind is empty. My body feels empty. I just feel like there's nothing left and I can't figure out why the hell I even decided to do this whole graduate school thing to begin with. If I didn't have to hang around for the class I TA for to take their exam, I would be home right now, curled up with my cats. That's the only place I want to be at the moment.
bugwitch

bugwitch

0
BrenM's Blog
 

Chew Bags????

I got to thinking about something a little while ago and I thought, why not throw it out there for discussion.   Background- Had my lap-band surgery 03/10/2011. So, this is my 4th night awake. I'm doing so so, hurting quite a bit still, which makes it hard to sleep, as do narcotic pain meds. Throughout these last few days, and the last 3 weeks I've been on a liquid diet. At times totally successful, and a few times I fell off the wagon. Understanding I am human, I'm not going to hide it or pretend I am perfect.   I tried to start a full liquid diet today and was sorely unsuccessful. The runny grits, no good. Took 4 bites and felt like I had sandpaper stuck in my throat. Tried some sugar free pudding tonight, again... just very uncomfortable, so I stopped after 3 bites. My stomach is still very swollen despite hot and cold packing. So I'm guessing that's part of the issue.   But the truth is also this, even the last week before surgery I was having a hard time gagging down the protein shakes and crap. I was literally living on vitamin water zero, hence my few lapses. I'm not craving food as much as chew. I don't find many foods to taste that great to me, but if it has the right texture I'm addicted. When you put the two together, it's a winning combination.   What do I enjoy THE MOST? A perfectly cooked steak. It was my last real meal before starting the liquid diet. Oh man do I miss it. I MISS MEAT!!!   So, as I said earlier, I got to thinking. I've worked with the mentally and physically disabled in the past, and for some... eating was not an option. They were fed through tubes in their stomaches. PERIOD! But for some who were fed through the tubes, they were given the opportunity to have sensory stimuli. TASTING!   How do you let someone taste something without letting them swallow it? I mean you have to be able to swallow at least your own spit for it to work. The therapists would use 'chew bags'. Some sort of solid food placed into a pourous yet not meshlike cloth. So no pieces could come loose. And we'd hold these bags in the patients mouthes and they would be encouraged to chew. Of course they got some of the flavor, and they chewed. It was kind of cool.   So I just tried it myself. A peppered piece of lunch meat and cheese in a chew bag. I got my chew on, I swallowed a little bit of flavor/spit. Nothing bad there, and I feel... ok. Kind of wierd, but like the garlic clove crunching I did the first 2 weeks, I had to do something, and it works. I feel Much better!!!   Bren    
BrenM

BrenM

10
sunny2010's Blog
 

The question everyone avoids to answer... or at least of all the threads I have read..

How soon after surgery did your doc tell you it was ok to have a drink or two. Please dont tell me about the calories.. I already know that. My sisters 21st birthday is coming up and is something we have talked about for a while. Im just trying to see if its safe to have a drink or two with her and if not why? What did your doc tell you? What was your experiance? Thank you in advance if you do respond    
sunny2010

sunny2010

12
AngryBaby's Blog
 

The 20s: The best years of your life...

I've heard people say time and time again: Enjoy your 20s... Everything goes down hill from there (body wise). When people think of back when they were in their 20s most think of their smokin' hot bodies, stamina, and their joints not popping all the time. I'm 23 going on 85... I started off my 20s at 5'5" and 270 pounds with a fat rear, thunder thighs, and working on a triple chin. Every joint in my body screamed as I moved. I would hyperventilate when I tried to run. At the age of 22, I had my gallbladder removed. My life as a butterball was really starting to show massive signs of stress on my body. I have more stretch marks than Octomom and am really surprised/relieved that I didn't get diabetes.   My life is beginning to change. I'm losing weight and I can breath. I can fit in a roller coaster and I don't have to touch anyone I sit next to involuntarily (ass spilling over to the next seat where someone else happens to be sitting).   As I shrink, my skin refuses to join the crusade. As one blogger put it, I look great in clothes but horrible naked. I am one of those people that as they gained weight they gained it everywhere. My once thunder thighs have become empty potatoe sacks. My floppy/fatty boobies have become tube socks with a rock in them. My plump santa gut now looks like a melted and scarred up smiley face. Don't even get me started about my ass... To give you an idea of how many inches it took for me to look so pathetic here you go: Inches lost 6in off chest 7in off stomache 8.25in off ass 4in off each thigh   Going back to where I started... They say the 20s are the best years of your life. I say screw it! I've never been much of a conformist anyway... I'm going to make my thirties the best years of my life. By my thirties, I'll lose all of the rest of my weight and get a nip/tuck or two.... or eight (we'll see what happens). By my thirties, I'll start popping out pups, have a stable career, and become less of a closet nudist and more of a streaker. Rawr...   Until next time, Angrybaby signing out.
AngryBaby

AngryBaby

0
kathy111's Blog
 

From: NOT WORKING!

Hi There   I was interested to read your post as I have had a lot of fill taken out as the pouch has been stretched from being too tight and constantly having food stuck, I am now able to eat anything which is a novelty after months of food getting stuck and being miserable and of course the wieght not shifting because as you said you eat sliders like ice cream and chips. I am worried about gaining during this time and intereseted that you said you had to wait 6 weeks, so when you started to get fill put back in was it small amounts and how often? Did everything go well after that? Did the weight start coming off again ok? I am just so worried that I will balloon up I am trying to be good but very hard when I can now eat good food.   Kathy   Source: NOT WORKING!
kathy111

kathy111

3
dreamscancometrue's Blog
 

3 months started. Planning for a birthday sleeve. :)

Well here is an update so far. I figured out that I will need the 3 months attempted weight loss so I have seen my PCP and made my appt for my psychological eval and my nutritionist visit. I figure that my sleeve will be my 37th birthday present. I am good with that. These next 3 months will fly by and I will be on my way down soon. I have started to work out 3 days a week with a cardio focus. I figure that the heathier my heart is before surgery the better off I am. There is a reason for everything and I am going to make the most of these 3 months to reach my goal after surgery faster. Hopefully some of the habits I am forming now will make life after the sleeve easier. My daughter is as excited about this now as I am. We laugh when looking at clothes and she says mom you can wear this too when you loose your weight. I cant wait for that day. I am doing this for me but also for her. I want to be an example of fitness for her to follow. Up to this point she has followed me down the road of a foodie. That will change when exercise is more of a focus in all of our lives.
kbowlin74

kbowlin74

1
sheilamj1fan's Journal
 

7th Fill on 03/10/2011

Hello everyone,   I had my 6th fill on August 10, 2010 and I had my seventh fill on March 10, 2011 and I thought I had some restriction. But not at all. So I'm really trying not to gain weight! So I've decided to do the low carb diet and see what happens.   Today is Day 1: I had 1 salmon (43 grams of protein) 1 Tilapia (23 grams of protein) and a cup of broccoli sauteed in Smart Balance
sheilamj1fan

sheilamj1fan

0
Beth's Brainspew
 

Hoping for June...Pumped and ready! Weight 280# BMI 40

I’ve decided to start blogging to create a chronological record of my mental journey through WLS. It will be therapeutic for me not only as I write, but also months or years down the road if/when I find the need to revisit my current mindset in the height of the decision process.   My story is similar to many on the Vertical Sleeve Talk forum. I first realized I was heavy in grade school. Of four kids in my family, I was the only heavy one. My siblings were, and still are, of average weight without any special effort. My parents did not treat me differently, or feed me differently. I was just always bigger. I evened out in junior high and high school as sports consumed my life. I gained in college, and remember being shocked and saddened the first time I weighed in at over 200#. I knew if I didn’t change I was destined to end up like my dad.. a magnificent man by all means, but who could never get a handle on his weight and died young of complications of diabetes. Through my twenties and thirties I managed to successfully lose significant amounts of weight (40, 70, 90 lbs) and keep it off for years, but inevitably…well, you know. Not sure exactly where I topped out, but I vaguely recall a doctor's scale that read around 305# six years ago.   So why WLS? Why now? Last year, after losing 25# on weight watchers at work and gaining back 30, I began to have symptoms of diabetes. Thirst, vision changes, and some tingling and stabbing sensations in my toes. My dad lost one of his lower legs to diabetic neuropathy before he died so this really hit home with me. It was time for our insurance-required health fair, so I braced myself for the bad news that diabetes had found me. I was completely shocked that my blood work was fine – both fasting glucose and A1C were normal. I had dodged a bullet. I took the news as a blessing but also KNEW there was no more time to mess around with my weight. That now, at age 38, it was time to find a solution that would stick.   I knew little about WLS. I had formed the opinion over the years that it was the easy way out, for people who were lazy. I only knew of the lap band and bypass, and neither sounded appealing. I had only heard the bypass nightmares of uncontrollable bowels and vitamin deficiencies, and the lap band freaked me out because of the implanted plastic. Toward the end of 2010 I felt desperate and that I had failed too many times to truly believe I could do it on my own. I made an appointment for the WLS seminar but was REALLY embarrassed to go. Walking in the door that December night was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I felt like I was giving up, that I was a failure.   Upon checking in to the seminar, the nurse navigator took a look at my insurance card and said “Lucky you! Your insurance pays for the sleeve!” Sleeve? I had no idea what she was talking about. I took the folder of info and scurried to my seat in the back of the room. As the surgeon explained the procedures I became more confused. I had no idea the band was so much maintenance – yuck. No change on my opinion of bypass, that wasn’t for me. This sleeve procedure… I do like how it minimizes the hunger hormone and that the valve stays intact… but removing 85% of my stomach – no way!   In the days following the seminar my head was swimming with info and I was so unclear on which surgery was best for me, that I all but concluded that none of them were. I went ahead with my first nutrition visit in December, just in case I decided to proceed. I spent one hour with the nutritionist and one hour with the surgery coordinator, and left feeling confident that WLS was indeed a good option for me. It was my first real conversation with anyone about it. It was the first time I had heard WLS called a 'tool' and I found that practical definition very empowering. I heard success stories as well as failures. I learned statistics on the benefits WLS can have on each body system, as well as statistics on diabetes, heart disease, and the other weight-related monsters that were lurking. I got frank answers to my questions, lots of written materials, resources, a video tape on the surgeries, book recommendations, and a plan to begin changing my eating habits. I giggle when I think back about how shocking it was to learn that day I would have to give up diet Coke. At that moment it was almost a deal breaker…now it seems so trivial.   Around that time that I also found VST and OH. What a wealth of information! The discussion boards and articles I found there made me certain that the SLEEVE is my choice! Since I made the decision I have had absolutely no second thoughts.   I am still going through the six month pre-op classes. The January class was an hour long talk by a post-RNY patient. He had lost something like 160 pounds and gave a recount of his experience, good and bad. Overall he had no regrets. The February class was completely worthless imo, it was the diabetic educator from the hospital talking about how to recognize hypoglycemia and how to remedy it. The next class is tomorrow. After that, only 2 more to go! Although my BMI is right on the line for approval, I try not to worry much about insurance denial. I am comfortable that the surgeon’s staff knows all of the insurance innuendos and will do a good job of getting me approved. My last class in May so I’m anticipating June for surgery. When I began all of this the six months seemed like an eternity…but it’s going so fast!   I also had the psych eval a couple of weeks ago – a great experience. The psychologist sees tons of WLS patients and gave great insight. She made me feel even more confident in my decision. After listening to me talk about past weight loss experiences she assured me that I have the dedication, and that the sleeve will be a good tool to help me manage my eating habits long-term. She said among the obese there are emotional eaters, and those who simply have bad habits. But regardless of the cause, after WLS it’s imperative to have replacement habits to fill the emotional or habit void. Most of her patients who have maintained healthy weight 2-3 years out are much more likely to succeed long term as they have ingrained healthy behaviors. Interestingly she said many people forego support groups/therapy the first year because they are in the ‘honeymoon’ phase and in the excitement of losing weight tend to ignore the mental aspect. She recommended OA or 1:1 therapy every 3 months or so post-op for a while to encourage open dialogue about the habit changes necessary to be successful. I think it’s great idea. I’d love to see her again post-op and hope insurance will cover, if not I may look up the OA schedule.   I look forward to a very different life once the weight begins to come off. More than anything I want to travel to exotic places and partake in all of the unique and challenging activities that go along with that. I want to climb a mountain, scuba dive, bike 50 miles in one sitting, and all of the things I loved in the past. I look forward to having more confidence as I’m finishing up grad school and will be interviewing for some amazing jobs.   There is so much I will gain after WLS!!! - Fitting into Misses sizes (can’t wait to see what size I am at goal)! - The unparalleled high from running endorphins - No more ripped butt seams or button pop-offs - Saving money on fast food - Ability to cross my legs comfortably - Being able to stand from sitting without having to push up with my arms - No more avoiding the camera - Multi-positional sex with my young hottie bf - Not having to pull the car seatbelt out so far - Climbing the stairs to my office without wheezing for 10 minutes after - Not having bras dig into my side boobs by the end of the day - Boundless energy and a sharper mind   Aside from all of the ‘feel good’ gains, I hope to never lose sight of the ultimate benefit of WLS: H E A L T H. This tool will help me keep diabetes away, as well as other potential chronic problems that go along with morbid obesity. My only current health problem is PCOS, and once I am below 200# my ob/gyn has agreed to take me off of the metformin that controls that – yippee! I’ve taken met every day since October of 1999.   So, future Beth...this is why I decided to have WLS. I understand the sleeve is merely a tool, and that I can never forget it’s there, or abuse it. I know that there will be challenges in adapting my behavior and right now I have the attitude of BRING IT! I am so motivated, so excited by the possibility that I can live at a comfortable weight for the rest of my life.
Douceur72

Douceur72

0
Fit Fat to Fit Thin
 

FINALLY something breaks loose

Normally, my husband helps me take my measurements every Wednesday (because I started my pre-op diet on a Thursday) but I was too excited today after teaching all three of my Zumba classes this week to see if I had shrunk any. I'm excited to say the results are......     BEGINNING (2/20/11)/CURRENT(3/13/11) Neck 15.75 14.25 Arm 14.75 13.5 Elbow 12.75 11.5 Chest 48 44.75 Waist (narrowest part) 42.75 38 Waist (belly button) 50.25 45 Hips 52 48.5 Thigh 25.25 23.5 Calf 19.25 18.12 Total inches lost: 23.5
agdunkle

agdunkle

3
The plot thickened and so did I
 

Feeling a little blue

I am kind of bummed. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. I have been on this pre-op diet for 8 days now and have honestly done really good. Sure a few times I had a few more ounces of chicken over what I was told, but I have never gone over calorie limit and have not splurged on anything. Not even eaten any foods I wasn't suppose too. Just a little extra chicken or veggies sometimes. But I just feel fat. I mean, I know I AM fat, but I thought I would be feeling a little better and for sure I thought I would see a number or two drop from the scale. I have been working out, cleaning and just all around been way more active. I am almost panicking, thinking, what if my liver is just too fatty?? What if I did this pre-op diet wrong? I should have lost a few pounds right? What if they see I didn't and think I am a poor choice for surgery because they think I didn't follow the pre-op diet? And all of this in my rational mind if laughing because I know it's silly, but it is just dumb paranoia that I just can't shake. My surgery is on Wednesday and I just want to go in there feeling like this whole kick off prior was a good thing and that I am on a good start to a new me. And right now, I just feel like the same old fat me, never gonna lose a pound, and nothing will work even this surgery. I am sure everyone freaks out thinking this will not work for them, and I keep telling myself that. And I need to stop comparing, but it's very hard not to. Oh well, one more freaking starving day at a time I guess. Ok, I'm not actually starving, but I do miss food, the taste, the smell, the texture, the momentary happiness. But I am so ready to find the new thing, and the new me. So, just cross your fingers that still do the surgery!! Ugh, dumb fat, just go away already!!
foxgirl74

foxgirl74

0
How I lost 100lbs
 

Fat Girl Moments....#FatGirlMoments

These are the moments where I realize how fat I once was, am and no matter how much weight I lose, will be.. It's because it's not on the outside it's on the inside. It's a mental thing.   I sit here writing this... 80lbs....wait make that 83lbs from goal. As someone who can lose 10+lbs in a week.. I really have no excuse to not hit my goal by my birthday in Oct. Even if losing at a slower rate.   This week, I hit the lowest number I'd been since I've been on this journey and it felt so good.....I then proceeded to make these "victory meals", cause that's what you do when you have something to celebrate right?!?!? #FatGIrlMoment - There was Ribeye Steak, Pork Sirloin Steak, "Light" Jello Salads ok....not so bad, but then we got to the mashed potatoes.. It's a celebration let's load them up... Garlic mashed potatoes, with triple cheddar cheese, with a touch of cream cheese and butter oh and bacon, and finally green onion for color.... These potatoes were and have been a meal in themselves for me in the past. They're so good they come straight out of my "Get Your Man" recipes/book I'm working on. But that's besides the point, the point to this is.. through the celebratory eating over the last 3 days I have gained 3lbs...   Last night having seen the scale move up 2lbs I decided "It's ok I'm gonna work out hard and lose it again" and I REALLY REALLY REALLY want donuts. So off to walmart I go, in the middle of the night for donuts, they didn't have the kind I wanted.. so I settled for my 2nd favorite again justifying it in my head, it's ok... I haven't had them in Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, I think I may have actually caught myself talking to them about how I'd missed them at one point. #FatGirlMoment   But here's the kicker.. today when I got on the scale, I actually got on the scale with a donut in my hand and was eating it as I looked down at the scale, half expecting it to move down. No shock and awe here....it was up, I'd offically gained 3lbs in just over 3 days....   Things like this is exactly why it's SO important for us to get the mental aspect about losing weight. Why it's SO important to understand our relationship with food and how it effects us, not only our bodies but our emotions as well.   I look forward to my #FatGirlMoments both good and bad as they're always a learning experience for me. And this time I learned a big one.... Everything we pick up is a choice, everything we eat can either move us closer to our goal or further from our goal and that's how we have to look at it. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time. It's not easy... but I'm in faith I can and WILL do this!.
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

9
Blog 95523
 

Emotional eater

Wow...at the end of this month it will be 8 months. I continue to learn about my relationship with food. I am such an emotional eater. I have alwayed look to food for comfort when stress, a reward when looking to celebrate, and a reason to socialize. Needless to say, it has taken a lot of time to reteach this old dog new tricks. However, I can say that I am truly learning.
Dadkins8

Dadkins8

1
justplaintired's Blog
 

One month post up and...I'M IN ONEDERLAND!!

I'm thrilled to say that yesterday was one month post op (with a shorter feb month I think I'm around 28 days post op) and today I hit onederland! I'm sooooo relieved! I knew I wouldn't feel very good until that stupid scale started with a 1!   I'm without restriction so any progress I am making is all me. I suspect I could eat almost as much as I did before but I wouldn't dare! Besides that, I'm eating so much better. I don't go near my trigger foods like bread/pasta/potatoes, etc. I'm pretty much protein and some veggies these days. I'm proud of myself!!   I am going to be adjusted on 3.22 so I am sure I'll see restriction then. I'm looking forward to it because I am going on vacation soon after and I don't want the vacation to disrupt my weight loss. My goal for the vacation will be to maintain whatever weight I am when I leave.   Speaking of goals, my doc had told me to just maintain between the 2 wk appt and my first fill. He said he didn't really expect me to lose but that I should not gain. Well...I wasn't willing to go with that so I've been plugging along. Fighting through the tummy growls... It hasn't been that bad because I think I have detoxed myself of my trigger foods right now. For example, last night we were with friends and there was delicious chips and homemade salsa. I LOVE THAT! So, I cut up zucchini to dip into the salsa. I still got that yummy salsa taste but stayed away from those deadly chips! Again, PROUD!   So, right now I am down 24 lbs since 2/5 which is when I began the pre-op diet.   YIPPEE!!
justplaintired

justplaintired

3
My Big Day 3/15/2011's Blog
 

Gave my husband the finger...

Skinny people just don't understand what us fat people go through. Here I am struggling to get through this pre-op diet and my lovely husband says he wants a big fat greasy pan pizza from pizza hut for dinner. That is like my favorite food in the whole world and I have been deprived for more than a month now. I immediately left the kitchen and hibernated in the bedroom when he came in with it and gave him the finger as I was exiting the room to let him know my disgust at his feeding! I am not hungry at all b/c I ate a little over budget already for dinner before he even ate...but still that pizza killed me. Now I must say I gave him the finger jokingly but am hoping he fed all the leftovers to the dogs before I have access to it. I am 3 days from surgery and will spend the next three days following the clear liquid diet even though my surgeon on requires the day before be clear liquid. I am overly prepared for this surgey and feel like I am planning a major vacation even though I only live 3 mins from the hospital I am having surgery at. My bags packed, my outfit is chosen, I am going to have a pedi/mani and a haircut on Monday and even bought a new outfit to where to/from the hospital. This is a huge event in my life and I hope to have memories (good ones) for years to come. I have been explaining to my 3 yr old boy that mommy is going to the hospital to have surgery on my belly. I hope he never remembers mommy as fat. I am going to spend this last weekend before surgery cleaning up the house and giving my husband and little boy lots of my attention. I need to start now by changing Jacob into his pjs so goodnight.
My Big Day 3/15/2011

My Big Day 3/15/2011

2
Blog 95458
 

Half-way to goal....

I am so excited to finally be able to say I am half-way to my goal of 115 (maybe a little less, we'll just have to see how I feel when I get there). My weight loss is fairly slowish and keeps fluxuating up and down by a pound or two. It's weird. I was 165.2 on Monday, 167.0 on Tuesday and then back down again to 165.2 again today. Arggh!! I don't know if it's something I'm doing, effect of my thyroid meds or maybe both? It's driving me nuts, but at least I am still losing and I'm still fitting into smaller clothes. People have actually used the term "svelte" and said that I'm shrinking away". I have to laugh, because I think elementary school was the last time I could have been referred to as svelte. I just turned 40 last week and I am still so glad that I got the band. My goal is to get as close to I can to my goal by my 1 year anniversary on 09/08/11.
nomorejellybelly

nomorejellybelly

0
Chronology of my Journey
 

Some Rollercoasters are Not Amusing

3/7/11: Attended the seminar at the Bariatric Center of Kansas City at Shawnee Mission Medical Center. Delivered my paperwork and insurance and ID copies to the staff. Met Connie - what a sweetheart!   3/10/11: I called Jill, my case manager, in the morning to check that the dates I meant to schedule with the doctor who is supervising my diet will work within the parameters of the requirements. I had to leave a message and wait for a return call.   About 2:00 pm I received a phone call from Jan at The Bariatric Center. She called to tell me that my insurance only pays for a maximum benefit of $10,000 of weight loss surgery expenses, not nearly enough to cover even just the expense of surgery, let along the additional office visits and evaluations required. We decided not to set my appointment with Dr. Hoehn until I sort out if/how I should proceed with this new information. She explained that Dr. Hoehn's surgeon fees alone are $5000, and that to get the cost of the hospital stay, I should call Shawnee Mission Medical.   Of course I flipped - and it only got worse.   Next, I called and left another, frantic message with Jill. My first appointment was scheduled in just a few hours with my DO to begin my supervised diet. At this point, I couldn't be sure it was even possible to pay for the surgery and all of the appointments associated. After waiting a few minutes, I decided to call the member phone number on my insurance card to check if the $10,000 was accurate. The lady I spoke with assured me that the cap existed and was not subject to my yearly out of pocket max of $1000, so all excess costs are mine to bear. I started to ask which office visits would be billed against the maximum benefit, knowing that if the supervised diet, the psych eval, etc, etc were all debited from that bucket, there would be no money at all to pay the surgery. She wasn't sure of the answers, so she transferred me to the UHC bariatric specialists’ location where Jill is located so that I could ask more detailed questions. By this time, it was 15 minutes until I was leaving for my appointment. I tried to explain my problem to the operator. She wanted to know "what my question was" and I tried to explain that I had many questions, all relating to how my benefits work, and that I really needed answers before I left for my appointment. She insisted on knowing what my appointment was, and assured me that if I told her what appointment I was going to, maybe she could get my question answered. I told her the appointment had nothing to do with my questions. The operator (who had been extremely rude and could barely be heard over the constant, furious clicking of her plastic fingernails typing as she spoke) told me that elective procedures are not considered urgent by UHC and I would have to leave a message and await a phone call.   Waiting for my work phone to ring (oh, yeah - all of this is happening on my work phone, where nosy co-workers can easily overhear, my bosses keep coming by for one reason or another and find me still on the phone, red-faced and frantic...it wasn't pretty or good for my career), I took out my cell phone and called Shawnee Mission Medical. I was directed to Patty at (913) 676-7736. Patty explained that the actual cost for the hospital stay in considered outpatient, though I would be observed overnight, for a average total of $39,000. However, UHC's contract allows them to bill about $7500 ($5735 + observation hours). Then she dropped the bomb - this did not include the fee for anesthesiology. My heart sank. Even with a sizeable chunk in my flex account, there was no way I could afford this surgery. $10,000 isn't coverage, it's a tease. My stress level and psychological health would have been better served if my policy didn't claim to have any benefit for weight loss surgery. I said as much to Patty, who cheerily replied, "At least you don't have to pay $39,000!" Some consolation. Patty was kind and helpful, even if she did not understand my predicament. She gave me the billing code all of the docs will use for the surgery expenses (43843) and the name and number of the anesthesiologists’ office so I could call them to see how much they would charge. (Anesthesiologist Midwest Anesthesiology Group (913) 234-1600). In the meantime, it was time to leave and I didn't receive a call back from UHC or Jill.   I did begin my 6 month supervised diet, despite the turmoil. After all, a supervised diet that included accountability with my doctor was better than taking no action for my health at all, right? She prescribed daily caloric intake under 2400 calories and to resume my training with Bethanie at the gym where I currently belong.   3/11/11: Received a phone call from Jill fist this in the morning. I explained what happened. She assured me (numerous times, at my insistence) that there is no $10,000 cap on my weight loss surgery benefit. There is a $10,000 cap on travel and lodging expenses, if I were over 100 miles from the nearest approved Center of Excellence, but that is not the case. The promised she would call Jan at the Bariatric Center to clarify the insurance terms and she would ask Jan to call me to set up my appointments.   At this point, I'd like to ask for something in writing. But first, I am waiting to see what happens if/when Jan calls me. After so many dark moments in this process that has only barely begun, dare I hope it will all work out?         Upcoming appointments:   June: Call Jill, my case manager at UHC to update her on my progress          
Holiday

Holiday

0
I've Been Weighting...
 

A Weighting Game

I've been fat my whole life, my whole family is big, well not my mom, so I know there is a little me in here somewhere! I'm tired of fighting, the daily struggle, the depression, the hopelessness, I can do this alone no longer, I'm finally getting help. I carry it well, but lets be honest, at 5'ft, and at one point 300 pounds, how exactly did I carry it at all? I'm luckier than most, I suppose.. no diabetes, no hypertension, nothing major except pretty severe sleep apnea, as if that alone isn't a major health hazard. My Dr. added oxygen to my cpap, a yr or so ago, since, when I sleep my level drops to around 70, sometimes lower. That alone was killing me... so many risks associated with oxygen deprivation, to say the least. I am beautiful, as I am, But, I have always wanted to be beautiful, and tiny... and healthy, I am sad, and I feel terribly selfish, that I am having this done, when my 2 daughters, are quite heavy as well. I had hoped that with the struggle they see me go through, they would have made some better choices, but sadly, no. Both are binge eaters, bored eaters, and sneaky eaters. I haven't made munching easy for them, but seems that they find a way. I hope I can help, in some way more. I don't want them to weight as long as I have before getting healthy, and living happy, as my struggles have been a work in process, so is my story...... To Be Cont...
Frknmidget

Frknmidget

0

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