Empty

So, I just finished my two final exams and I am pretty sure I failed them. No, don't give me any of that, "It's better than you think" crap. I know my own abilities and I know what just happened...and what just happened was one big steaming pile of sh!t. For each exam, my brain and body were just empty. I felt like I couldn't understand what the questions were asking. I felt so lost. During the second exam, I couldn't focus at all and found my mind wandering between pondering the questions, starting to panic about finding a job because I won't be passing this quarter, and not having the money to pay for surgery next week because I'll have to save it for rent!...assuming I can even pay rent to begin with. I'm really lost right now. I titled this blog post 'Empty' because that is kind of how I feel. My mind is empty. My body feels empty. I just feel like there's nothing left and I can't figure out why the hell I even decided to do this whole graduate school thing to begin with. If I didn't have to hang around for the class I TA for to take their exam, I would be home right now, curled up with my cats. That's the only place I want to be at the moment.