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Wtf!

Well crap. So, I've been stuck at the same general area since October. Yes, there has been some movement, but it keeps going back up. Before leaving to visit family last week I had finally made it to 202.8 and was there for a couple of days. While away, I didn't weigh myself at all but I was doing fairly well about my eating. Typically, when I am back home, the stress of dealing with family BS makes me eat poorly. Well, when I got back home Tuesday night, I decided to weigh myself before going to bed. Well, guess what...finally onederland! 198.8 I didn't believe it, so I took off the PJ's and got back on. Still 198.8. Awesome! Logically, ince I had just eaten, that must mean I will likely weigh a little less or the same the next morning, right? Well, no.   Wednesday morning I decided to weigh myself to see if there had been any change. Yes, there fraking had. 205.8. WTF!?! And tonight, 208!!! I am so f**king pissed right now. Bummed and eating horribly since Wednesday. Damn discount chocolate...I just don't know what the hell is going on. I work out and eat right, there's little to no movement. I eat farily well and don't work out, there's little to no movement. I imagine some of the weight gain in the passed few days has something to do with my period, but still...I'm just so sick of this. I need to go shoot something. Maybe my neighbors who blast their loud music in the middle of the night. Yeah...shooting them will make me feel better...   Excuse me...I'll be back later.   Okay...I'm back.   How weird is it that this constant plateau has me feeling no different than how I felt before I had the surgery? It's as if I am still that 300lb woman who couldn't lose ten pounds to save her life. I look in the mirror or I look down at me and I see rolls. Not "smaller" rolls (because the fat rolls are smaller, of course), but just rolls of fat. I know these feelings will go away or at least die down once my period is over with and the hormones settle, but right now I just feel like crap.
bugwitch

bugwitch

1
 

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol Review

***In case you are wondering...no, I do not have a life. But I do have gift cards! ***   Though this was a Tom Cruise film, financed by Tom Cruise, produced by Tom Cruise and staring himself, I was glad to see that he wasn't the entire focus of this film. THANK YOU Brad Bird and JJ ABRAMS!!!   The other characters in the story are fleshed out (as much as you can do in standard action schlock) and we get a more rounded view of what's going on. My only real character complaint is that there was not more of Michael Nyqvist. With very few lines and most of his character information being delivered by other characters' expository dialog, as well as his eyes...those gorgeous eyes...he delivers a strong performance which surpasses that of Cruise and most of his counterparts.   Simon Pegg is always a hoot and has a solid performance once again. I do worry that he will become a bit typecast, but if this is who/what he likes to play, more power to him. I'm all set for Hot Fuzz 2.   As I said earlier...it's standard action schlock but with some nice visuals and it keeps you going. I do not understand why this is currently rating at 93% (if only because people expected so little based upon the previous films). Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy it. It was a nice romp which definitely takes you out of your hum-drum life for a couple of hours. Not many films succeed in doing that anymore. If you are looking for a good action flick, with some great fight sequences, impressive visuals and some decent acting, then check this out.   7/10
bugwitch

bugwitch

0
 

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011) Review

The Millennium Trilogy books and original films are a profoundly influential aspect of my life. They forced me to confront and address events in my life which, up until that time, I had only mildly dealt with. With that in mind, I can honestly say I am completely incapable of giving these films an objective analysis. But, I do my best...   Two things before I begin my review:   1) Have you seen the original film first? If not, see this version first. If you have, try to distance the two in your mind while watching...it will help.   2) Prior to seeing this I was pondering if this was to be a remake of the original film(s) or an adaptation of the book(s). It is an adaptation of the book.   Okay, now that that is out of the way, I'll go into it a bit further. **insert requisite possible spoilers below notification**   To explain why I say you should see the newest version first...Typically when someone says this, they are implying that the film to watch first is not as good as the original. To say that would be unfair to the new version and an overstatement of quality of the first. As film adaptations go, I believe both are approximately equal in standing. Both are very good films. Judging by quality of translation from novel to screen, I would actually say the newest version is better. Things that were lost and/or altered in the original were left intact in the new film and did not detract from the story at all. Did it add to it? Probably, if you are one of those who like to see every little detail possible translated on screen. However, I never felt their absence in the originals.   The original films have a very secure place in my heart and mind and I partially wish I had not seen them as I spent a significant amount of time unintentionally drawing connections between the two. I did this with the newest Robin Hood film, however, given the immediate alterations to that story, I was able to distance Prince of Thieves from Russell Crowe's version fairly swiftly. I could not do that right away with TGwtDT.   Both open similarly however with the newest version we are treated to a sort of James Bond-intro-on-a-bad-acid-trip introductory sequence. Paired with the awesome rendition of Immigrant Song, it worked quite well and fit with the feel of the film quite well. All throughout I liked the music and even felt some occasional homages to the original score. Well done. Visually, there are even some references to the original. I remember thinking when I watched the trailers for it, how I almost thought they were filming in the same locations and trying to mimic some of the original in style and visual. I thought the same while watching the film. However, these are definitely two, very distinct films, both with their own individual interpretations of the same source material.   One of the most powerful elements about the original film(s) is its refusal to back away from the realism regarding violence against women. The two rape scenes of Lisbeth being key in our connection with the character. We connect with her in those scenes in a way that I feel has never happened before in a Hollywood depiction of rape. Hollywood tends to glorify the act and make it visually stimulating at the same time diminishing the act and making it seem almost inconsequential to the film. However, no woman, man or child who has been raped will tell you that the act was inconsequential to them. In the original film, we spend the entire sequence with Lisbeth. We see and feel her. No fancy music. No flashy lighting of scene changes. It is her. It is her pain; her loss of control; her suffering which we see and feel. In the newest adaptation, we again in the same place. However, the choice of the director to give more screen time to the rapist, rather than focusing on Lisbeth takes you out of her space and you lose the impact of the rape. It is still intense, do not get me wrong. However, there are some visual angles and shots used during the second rape scene where rather smart choices.   My biggest complaint about the film is the editing for the first main chunk of it. It felt rather disjointed in the way it was put together. We are with Mikael, then Lisbeth, then elsewhere, then back. The connecting scenes didn't have a thematic bridge all of the time which made it somewhat disjointed. It worked, but it was a struggle. However, once we make it passed this area, it becomes much better.   Those unfamiliar with the book(s) and original films may have a bit of difficulty following along with the same level of enjoyment as I did. Maybe I am wrong, but I recalled thinking that someone who didn't know what was going on, might find the whole thing bizarre.   Anyway, that is my quick little review of the 2011, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo film. Overall I still loved it. The two leads were perfect for their respective characters (even more so than the original actors if you are going by novel to film translation standards).   8.5/10 (original is a 9/10 for me)   p.s. This film also contained probably the best use of Enya ever.
bugwitch

bugwitch

3
 

IMMD (It Made My Day)

I had my VSG surgery on 21 March with Dr. Alberto Aceves. Though it's been tough it has definitely been a journey worth taking. I know it's only been a month and a half, but I just had a moment of success this morning that I just had to share. Well, actually, I had two!   I've lost and gained weight many times over the years; as have most of us here on the forums I imagine. But, it has been almost 8 years since I have been able to break the 250 barrier. It's been one of those things that I just couldn't get passed. I think I weighed around 250 in high school and, frankly, most of my life. In 2003/4 I did the Atkins diet and had some great success. But after I had to have my gall bladder taken out, it was really difficult to keep it up. All that protein just didn't sit well. I slowly crept back up over the next six months, but was able to keep it around 250 without going too much higher. But by the end of 2006, I was over 300. I reached my highest weight of almost 320lbs. After a moment of realization I affirmed I would lose that weight. Fighting over the next couple of years I was able to get to 252. I was stuck there. It just wouldn't go down! Until today.   This morning I decided to hop on the scale and I saw a number I never thought I'd see...249.4. I couldn't believe it! OMG!!! I broke the 250 barrier!!! So I had to do it again. But this time, the number was different. So I got on it again to check...same number as the second time. Wait...try again...same number as the previous two goes. So, as of today, I now weigh 248.8lbs!!!!!! HUGE smile on my face.   Next little moment came about 15 minutes later while getting dressed. I've been wearing my same clothes because I just don't want to be buying up clothes...I'm cheap. But, I still have some of my clothes from when I was thinner and then a few which I purchased as motivation to lose a little more. Well, those motivation pants were still too small, but the older thin jeans fit just perfect!   I started to cry.   IMMD     Just had to share.
bugwitch

bugwitch

1
 

Empty

So, I just finished my two final exams and I am pretty sure I failed them. No, don't give me any of that, "It's better than you think" crap. I know my own abilities and I know what just happened...and what just happened was one big steaming pile of sh!t. For each exam, my brain and body were just empty. I felt like I couldn't understand what the questions were asking. I felt so lost. During the second exam, I couldn't focus at all and found my mind wandering between pondering the questions, starting to panic about finding a job because I won't be passing this quarter, and not having the money to pay for surgery next week because I'll have to save it for rent!...assuming I can even pay rent to begin with. I'm really lost right now. I titled this blog post 'Empty' because that is kind of how I feel. My mind is empty. My body feels empty. I just feel like there's nothing left and I can't figure out why the hell I even decided to do this whole graduate school thing to begin with. If I didn't have to hang around for the class I TA for to take their exam, I would be home right now, curled up with my cats. That's the only place I want to be at the moment.
bugwitch

bugwitch

0
 

Oye...

So, for some reason I am having a not-so-good food week. For the last week and a half, I was keeping my food intake low and just wasn't hungry. I know a lot of this was due to recovering from a short stint with the flu as well as a significant amount of stress...but I was really hoping I had started to get over those hurdles that had been put up over the years. I was consistently stopping eating when I was full. I was dividing up my food before I would start eating, and I was simply being better about food. But this week, it's been rough. Not gorging, but just eating too much, to the point of being uncomfortable.   Perhaps it is a stress reaction. Perhaps those old habits (eat everything on your plate, etc) which were forced on me and then reinforced over the years are just impossible to lose. I know, just a few days of slip ups are not the end of the world and can be recovered from. It is just quite disheartening to be here again.   Just over four weeks until surgery. I am still working at saving my pennies, but will be taking a hit this next week. I am taking an unexpected trip back home to help out a very sick friend and am looking at quite a large bill in the long run. Hopefully he will be able to reimburse me in time. I posted a note on Facebook asking if anyone back home would be willing to help out with getting him moved (sick and has to move!) or even willing to donate a little bit to my travel fund. I offer the simple idea of, if just five people, donate five dollars each, that covers my cab fare to get to the airport. Simple right? I've helped out other friends on FB who needed a new laptop, or had a pet that needed a vet appointment, etc.....The most I got was one person offering her "prayers" for us. Well...sorry, something constructive and real is what is needed. Prayer is just a way to feel better about herself for not doing anything constructive. I said nothing to her...she strikes me as an overly "fragile" person. Oye...quite frustrating. I do not expect people to help...I learned that long ago while trying to organize events for our Amnesty International club....but I had hoped people would try.   Oh well...So, that's part of my last few weeks. B!&chfest over....for the moment. Thanks for listening/reading.   Be well everyone and I hope your weeks go swimmingly.
bugwitch

bugwitch

0
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