Feeling a little blue

I am kind of bummed. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. I have been on this pre-op diet for 8 days now and have honestly done really good. Sure a few times I had a few more ounces of chicken over what I was told, but I have never gone over calorie limit and have not splurged on anything. Not even eaten any foods I wasn't suppose too. Just a little extra chicken or veggies sometimes. But I just feel fat. I mean, I know I AM fat, but I thought I would be feeling a little better and for sure I thought I would see a number or two drop from the scale. I have been working out, cleaning and just all around been way more active. I am almost panicking, thinking, what if my liver is just too fatty?? What if I did this pre-op diet wrong? I should have lost a few pounds right? What if they see I didn't and think I am a poor choice for surgery because they think I didn't follow the pre-op diet? And all of this in my rational mind if laughing because I know it's silly, but it is just dumb paranoia that I just can't shake. My surgery is on Wednesday and I just want to go in there feeling like this whole kick off prior was a good thing and that I am on a good start to a new me. And right now, I just feel like the same old fat me, never gonna lose a pound, and nothing will work even this surgery. I am sure everyone freaks out thinking this will not work for them, and I keep telling myself that. And I need to stop comparing, but it's very hard not to. Oh well, one more freaking starving day at a time I guess. Ok, I'm not actually starving, but I do miss food, the taste, the smell, the texture, the momentary happiness. But I am so ready to find the new thing, and the new me. So, just cross your fingers that still do the surgery!! Ugh, dumb fat, just go away already!!