My Ah-Ha Moment

Well actually, I had two ah-ha moments, one before surgery and one after. My wake up was our vacation in July of this year. We went to a beach and shared a condo with family. My husband and I slept on the pull out sofa for two nights. I just wanted to die! The pain I felt in my back, hip and legs was unbearable. On the last night, he went and bought an air mattress but the damage was done. I was in full- blown pain.

Hubby went and got me some pain meds but all he could find (that I wasn't allergic to) was a night time one that made me drowsy and loopy. So here I am, at the beach, under the umbrella, feeling like Shamu, watching my family members play with my kids. I felt so helpless, useless and fat! On that beach, in NJ, was the moment I promised myself that I was gonna get myself under control before I died and let my family without at wife and mommy.

When we got home, I called the Bariatric Center at my hospital and the rest was history. Everything just came together. God was directing my steps. From start to finish, my surgery process was 3 months. I started at 324 lbs on that beach and this weekend I reached my holiday goal of 255 lbs. That makes a 71 lb loss, and a gain of energy and best of all NO PAIN!!!!

But my second ah-ha moment was over this weekend also. I had a mini break down. My husband taped the kids Christmas program at church ( by the way, they were just the cutest and blessed my heart) but he put it after our 5 yr old's first day of kindergarten. He was real excited when I came home to show me. Something like," you got to see this, see how much weight you lost!!!!", excetra.

I was watching me on this tape, and I just wanted to weep. I think I am still shell-shocked. To think that was me on the tv just broke my heart. I was a dead woman walking. Even now, I can't believe how much I was fooling myself. Never in a million years did I see myself so big.

I thank God that I had this opportunity to change my life.