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ajtexas's Blog
 

I Can't

I can’t exercise at work. I can park in a parking structure that is a block from my building I can give the elevators the day off and climb the stairs (my office building has 11 floors, my office is on the 8th floor) I can go to the bathroom on the 11th floor instead of my floor (& take the stairs, of course) I can take a break & go for a walk (it’s amazing how refreshing it is to get away from my desk for 10 minutes)   I can’t drink that much water in a day. I can add lemon/lime wedges or crystal light mixes to the water for variety. I can carry a bottle of water with me everywhere I go. I can take a drink of water every 5 minutes.   I can’t stop snacking. I can stock my pantry with healthy snacks I can pre-portion my health snacks. I can drink 8 ozs of water before having the snack I think I want. I can go for a walk instead of having the snack I think I want.   As long as “I can” I will maintain my weight and I know I CAN!
♕ajtexas♕

♕ajtexas♕

5
desertmom's Blog
 

Post holiday muzing (Is that the right word?)

well,I took the advice of everyone that said relax and enjoy the holiday.I added carbs and enjoyed the good food,the wine and the company!   I lost 3 pounds in the past 3 weeks.HOWEVER,my hair started falling out again like crazy.I mean I flooded the bathroom this morning when I didnt notice my hair blocking the shower drain...lol   Obviously my proteins for the past couple of weeks must have been way too low.Having said that,I have been wanting to test my total protein for a while now as I have some signs of not absorbing enough protein.It might be a matter of not spreading it out enough during the day.Will urgently have to look into that because at 10 months out this is now freaking me out a little.   At the moment I am 6 pounds from goal.There is still way too much fat on my stomach and my thighs so I will drop my goal with 10 pounds.Will also take my time with losing this as I do not plan on cutting back my calories as drastic as before.I was eating around 1500 on holiday and felt energetic and my skin looks better.Having added the carbs have taken care of my constipation issues and I dont have this constant mild belly ache I've had since surgery.   My kids are constantly saying things like "mom,when you came to fetch me at gymnastics I thought you were someone else" or "mommy,you are so skinny now" this feels so great and I have started looking at myself in the mirror for the first time in many many years.I really dislike the fact that I have so much loose skin and a lot of wrinkles but I am starting to see me a little better.I dont always look fat to myself anymore.Sometimes when I walk past shop windows I notice myself skinny and sometimes By the next window pane I see the old me.Being very body dismorphic I suppose this will take time.   Lately I have been wondering how I will get the courage to go for plastics.I am blessed with the finances (have set up a plastics fund years ago that is so big now I can do a trip around the world with it..lol) but lack the courage.I am petrified of anasthetic and am actually a real coward.I feel ashamed of this when I read how some people really want to go for plastics but cannot afford it.Plastics in the UAE is a very dicey business as you cannot see before and after pics or dont ever really know how good the surgeons are as it is a very hush hush business.People often rather go abroad to do it but I cannot see myself being brave enough to do this.Anyway,maybe I will wait till summer and drag the whole family off to some strange country to have this done.Or maybe I will somehow become brave and do it here.I see that dr Diamond of the tv program is a regular visiting surgeon now,should maybe go and see him..lol   My surgeon really wants his patients to do plastics as he says his experience have taught him that in the long term,people that did the plastics tend not to regain much.The reason Im thinking of this is that in order to body sculpt you still need some fat.A friend that reached goal (her goal not surgeons goal) and exercised like crazy had too little body fat for them to fix her butt without implants.she came out smooth but without any curves or a butt.The weight of the excess skin of arms,legs,full body lift and boobs were less than 2 pounds.The dr did say he really wished she had a little more body fat he could have worked with.I will go for a consult with a reconstructive guy just for the heck of it when I have lost 6 more pounds to see what he says about this.   Anyway,I am yet to start exercizing seriously.I still play squash twice a week and do pilates reformer though.When I stop being so lazy I will go and train with the personal trainer that has been paid upfront 4 months ago already..lol   Life is good in lalaland and we're having the mildest winter in the 11 years I've been here.Now that I can wear cute winters clothes,it is 00:50 in the morning and I am sitting on my balcony without a jacket...lol   God is good all the time and I am blessed beyond measure.I thank Him every day for this surgery that has given me back my life after so many years of failure and self loathing for my lack of self control.
desertmom

desertmom

2
Mrs Havelock's Blog
 

November 28th 2012

Gang aft agley indeed! I received the terms and conditions from the NOSC and read them carefully. I discovered why they are £2000 cheaper than BMI - very little provision for financial coverage should anything go wrong. I know how expensive even a day in ICU can be, let alone if something serious goes wrong. After a quick conflab with mother, who is releasing the funds from my inheritance early, we decided that it was too great a risk and we would look at a different provider. Mr Agwunobi had mentioned that if I had the surgery through BMI, emergencies would be fully covered and any problems for the first thirty days too. Then I realised - if I was using a BMI hospital I could go with my first choice of surgeon: Mr Ackroyd at Sheffield, which is much closer to home. I rued the loss of the £150 consultation fee with Mr Agwunobi, but luckily BMI are offering £100 discount to new consultations in November and December. I met with Nerissa (not Narissa or Norissa) at BMI Thornbury on Monday evening - battling my way through flooding and then had fun navigating the hospital layout. Why would Level 3 be on Floor 4?   Nerissa, as I've heard, was lovely - very personable and knowledgeable. We discussed my eating habits, and although on paper I would better suit a bypass, I opted for my original plan - a sleeve gastrectomy. She said one of the best parts of her job was meeting someone a year down the line and I had an immediate vision of myself, sitting in the same room a year's hence, half the woman I am now. It was a good vision. She then asked if I wanted to meet Mr Ackroyd now, which I wasn't expecting, but we headed up (or was it down?) in the lift and I recognised him standing by the desk.     It was a lightning-fast consultation. He was decisive and informative and I learned in ten minutes all that I needed to - he is the surgeon for me. He asked me why I was overweight, I said it was due to poor food choices and repeated dieting. He was surprised and said many people don't acknowledge any responsibility for their weight. He was impressed that I knew what a bougie was (he uses a 34 calibre beastie) and I left feeling very, very happy and confident that I was in the best possible hands.   We left the hospital via the wrong entrance (of course!) and walked all the way round the building to find the car. We passed the back door, where the bags of clinical waste were stored and I imagined the larger part of my stomach being in there soon!   I got home, very happy and excited. Mr Ackroyd's waiting list is right down at the moment, and I know as soon as the money comes in, I'm good to go. I have my pre-op diet sheet ready (3 pints of milk and two yoghurts for 10 days) ... I am raring to start!
Mrs Havelock

Mrs Havelock

0
Mrs Havelock's Blog
 

November 7th 2012

I had a consultation with Mr Agwunobi last night at the Alexandra BMI Hospital in Cheadle, Manchester. The day had been busy with taking my sister to her psychiatrist appointment, dropping some books off at a charity shop, then attending a CAMHS course to help my sister and I learn some techniques for managing her son, who had Autism and ADHD. Then I had to help my Mum get ready for her holiday to the Canaries and we drove over the Pennines to Manchester. The weather was horrible and the traffic worse. The intention was to go to the airport hotel first, drop her things, have a coffee, then to go to the nearby hospital for my appointment, relaxed and refreshed. Instead we arrived breathlessly after a quirky satnav diversion, with half an hour to spare before the 18:30 appointment.   I had been to this hospital before - my Mum had a back operation there in the nineties, and I remember a country house-style retreat with mature trees and squirrels frolicking on the tended lawns. Now it feels like a hospital and I had a little pang of nerves as we walked towards the main entrance. I have never been into a hospital in my for myself - only friends and family. This time it was for me.   The sign at the main door asked visitors to 'kindly report to reception' which you wouldn't see at an NHS hospital I'm sure. We went into the restaurant and I had a yoghurt and cup of tea. At the prepared meals section there were some small plated salads - a saucer-sized plate with some fish and salad. Post-bariatric surgery patients their intended purchasers, I'll bet.   There seemed to be a significant number of Dr Handsome's walking around, and the nurses and auxiliary staff were just that little bit more polished. At six twenty we went into the Consultation Suite and the staff at the reception asked to swipe a debit or credit card as part of the registration procedure. I wondered if my bank account was going to be £9,000 overdrawn when I next checked it! Five minutes wait, then a nurse asked me to come through for a height and weight check. Yes, I'm still 5'6" and yes I'm still 26st-something, with a BMI of 60.   Mr Agwunobi was polite, official and with a firm handshake. The chair sitting ready for me was extremely, comfortably large - a bariatric chair. We chatted about my expectations for the procedure, my experiences of dieting and hopes for the future. I was pleased to discover I am one of his healthier patients as I have no comorbidities. Tell me any other medical situation where I would be considered 'healthy'!? He never actually said 'Yes' but I presume he is happy to go ahead with the operation!   Dropped mother at her hotel then the long drive back home to Yorkshire. I actually managed to listen to the whole of Tim Minchin's Heritage Orchestra album, which ended pleasingly just as I pulled up outside my house.   I have a few worries about having to pay further for any complications, and I have to wait until the beginning of December until the money comes through and I can book a date with Mr Agwunobi to rummage around inside me. I'm wishing the days away, but I'll probably look back on this time and say 'You fool! You can eat anything you want to now, enjoy yourself!'
Mrs Havelock

Mrs Havelock

0
Mrs Havelock's Blog
 

November 3rd 2012

When I was a baby, my father remarked to my mother: 'She's going to have problems with her weight in the future.' Apparently I was physically very similar to his mother. It turned out he was right but not for the reasons he believed. Ironically, it was his life choices that set me on the road to super morbid obesity. Whenever I want to imagine myself as slim and fit I have to go way back through the photo albums to the age of twelve or so. My thighs were so muscular, tanned and slim then! I ate normally, felt normally, behaved normally. I had friends at school, worked hard, and as the daughter of a vicar, was expected to behave impeccably.   At the age of twelve my father abruptly left his children, his job and his wife for another woman and we had to vacate the vicarage quickly. We moved to a small, moldering terraced house in a rough part of Manchester. Our diet changed to extremely poor quality food as my mother struggled to care for her three children without the assistance of Child Support (I don't think it had been invented then).   I ate to comfort myself, to choke down my feelings of abandonment and sadness. I stole change from my mother to buy sweets, I sneaked out of school at lunchtimes to go home and eat chips and cry on my own. My weight gain and my obvious differences in life experiences from my new classmates meant I was bullied, not only by the 'in crowd' of girls in their smart clothes, but also by my sadistic PE teacher, who on one occasion brought a tape measure into the girls' changing rooms and measured everyone's vital statistics. The closer to the fabled 36-24-36 they were, the more they were congratulated upon for being 'nearly right'.   My home life didn't improve. My mother met a man who was an alcoholic and he moved in after their second date. Years of drink, violence, abuse and other horrors took its toll on my mental health and I began self-harming in secret. How is a fourteen year old schoolgirl, already reeling from changes in her life supposed to react when she comes home from school to find her stepfather passed out in the garden, his trousers to his knees, fully exposed and wet from urinating on himself? Worse still was later on when he had come round, expected to sit around the dinner table as if nothing had happened.   My weight climbed and my self-esteem plummeted. At fifteen I went on my first ever diet. A quarter of a glass of grapefruit juice for breakfast, half a slice of dry toast for lunch and a quarter of a tin of mushroom soup for dinner. I lost weight, I obsessed about food constantly and my yo-yo had begun its lifelong twirling.   I dieted several times in my life - sure to lose many stones then just as surely putting them back on and some.   One does not simply wake up at 27 stone, it is the peak of years of food use, abuse and denial. My last big loss was in 2008 when I lost almost eight stone through strict diet and increased exercise. Four years later ... every stone is back and they, as always, brought a couple of friends back with them.   I know this would have been the pattern for my almost certainly truncated life had I not had the incredible good fortune to have a mother about to receive a hefty inheritance along with a deep sense of guilt and regret for some of her life choices. I asked her several months ago if she would consider releasing some of the funds that she intended leaving to her children in the future early, enabling me to have private WLS. She said yes.   It has happened very, very quickly. A medical screen by a bariatric nurse yesterday, followed by a consultation with a surgeon booked for next Tuesday. As soon as the funds come through (early December) I will have a date for a sleeve gastrectomy booked.     The WLS is only ever going to be an aid, not a cure for my weight. I know I have years of poor eating habits and psychological difficulties to work on. But I have never been in a happier place personally than I am now. A husband (blimey!), a sense of direction (future children and employment) and a maturity of self set me in good stead for this undertaking.   Bring it on.
Mrs Havelock

Mrs Havelock

0
pink grace's Blog
 

another week and still waiting

Hello fellower sleevers and sleevers to be, i am waiting to see the heamatologist but have still not got a date I saw my diabetic specialist last week and it was very encouraging, i am 3kg down since July, my last appointment, my blood sugar readings are good, and even though it is not his field he said that as far as he could tell i am borderline lupus and this shouldn't cause any probs with my op. I was able to ask him questions about when i stop injecting victoza and he reassured me that i won't go hypo after the op because i will have stopped the victoza. I am going to reduce the dosage when i get a date and do the pre op diet again so that i won't have hypo probs on 800 cals a day. I came home much relieved. I got weighed yesterday and was shocked at the scales, good job i was starting to cut cals and eat healthier that day. Hope all are well and loosing or maintaining weight, bye for now, x
pink grace

pink grace

0
FahnBy40
 

I...............

am so excited. So the lbs are coming off slowly, but DEEZ INCHES MAYNE! I am wearing a top from DOTS that I bought and thought I could wear and HAHAHAHHA! NO. My boobs and gut said NO MA'AM! Today? it's on. it's buttoned. IT'S CUTE! Also, the coat that I talked about in my week two update video that would not button? BUTTONED TODAY.   Can't tell me nothin' today!
TheCurvyJones

TheCurvyJones

1
MeMeMEEE's Blog
 

17 months out today

I have been reflecting a lot recently about where I was a year ago, going through my leak and basically housebound. I am happy to report I enjoyed the holidays and even lost a little during them. I am so thankful for my sleeve today.     Start Weight 242 Height 4'11'' 6 month Pre-op loss (-28.6) Surgery date 8/8/11 weight 213.4   1 month - 194.2 (- 19.2) 2 months - 180 (- 14.2) 3 months - 170.2 (- 9.8) 4 months - 164.4 (- 5.8) 5 months - 167.2 (+ 2.8) 6 months - 162.4 (-4.8) 7 months - 155.4 (-7) 8 months - 149.6 (-5.8) 9 months - 143.4 (-6.2) 10 months - 139 (-4.4) 11 months - 132.6 (-6.4) 12 months - 126.8 (-5.8) 13 months - 121.4 (-5.4) Made goal! Normal BMI! 14 months - 118 (-3.4) 15 months - 116.2 (-1.8) 16 months - 114.8 (-1.4) 17 months - 112.6 (-2.2)
MeMeMEEE

MeMeMEEE

0
DebLynn's Blog
 

Day 5 post op

Today is day 5 post op and my first day back home after surgery. I had surgery on 1/2/12 and other than the day of surgery I have been relatively pain free, no nausea or heartburn. Dr. Kelly in Tijuana did my surgery and it is the most pain free procedure I have ever had. Only had pain the day of surgery and that was relatively mild. Stayed at the Oasis Hospital for 2 days before being transferred to the Lucerna hotel in the business district. Very nice. We received 5 star service that would never happen anywhere near home unless you have money flowing or are a politician!lol.   I have been drinking mixtures of Gatorade/water, orange juice, and chicken broth, along with some sugar free jello (totally liquid from chewing). If I drink to much at one time I will slightly cramp and it serves as a reminder to take smaller sips. When I have drank to much I get a full felling around by diaphragm and avoid drinking anymore until it goes away.   This experience has been mild compared to a lot of stories that I have read. I am not sure if this is due to the fact that I did a lot of research priors to surgery and prepared myself mentally for the changes that are necessary for this to succeed or what but so far so good.   Did a slow 2 mph walk on the treadmill while watching the Biggest Loser for an hour. Made sure to clip the safety clip in case something happened, since I am home alone during the day. Felt pretty good.   My ultimate goal is 135 lbs. Pre-surgery weight was 242 when left home, will wait till the 9th to get a weight for 1 week post-op. I plan on walking on the treadmill every day and realize that some days will be better than others. Also plan on keeping a journey journal to be able to look back and see how my progress is, both mentally and physically.   Personally, I think that our mental outlook is over half of the battle and that it is important to confront the reasons behind our eating. Mine are emotional and also a bit of laziness, easier to eat out than cook. In reality there is no one to blame for our condition except ourselves and we are the only one who can change how we think. I am ready for this change and that is why I decided to do the surgery. It is a tool not the answer.   So I will try to record at least once weekly on how the week has gone.   For all those that think their husbands are asses think about this:   If you go out and your husband wants something to eat maybe he is trying to help by not making you cook at home. Perception is the key to a lot of things. Instead of thinking they are selfish maybe they are trying to be nice in their own way. I offered to cook for my husband since I am home and he said he just wanted me to concentrate on me for now that he was afraid I would want what I cooked for him. I won't since no appetite right now, but still sweet!
DebLynn

DebLynn

0
My Journey to Me
 

19 Days Since Surgery

It has been two weeks and five days since my surgery, and I am left in wonder and introspection.   I have had my first post-op doctor's appointment and am scheduled to see him again in about two months. I am to lose 24 pounds by then. My scale and the scale at my doctor's are different by six pounds; I also weigh myself nude at home while I am fully clothed while at my doctor's (plus I think I had my car keys in my jeans pocket).   I've realized I haven't been following the schedule that I am supposed to have set with my meals: 3 meals a day, 2oz each, and 2 protein shakes. I am still on a liquid diet; broths and protein shakes have been my meals. I've been nearly meeting my protein intake of 50g a day (I get around 46-50, depending on the kind of shake I drink). Along with my realization that I need to work on my food schedule, I also realized I need to be measuring my broth so I can get used to the 2 oz of food I am allowed, so when day 22 comes along, I will measure my soft foods out of habit. Instead of measuring my broth, I've been pouring them into my little toddler bowl and eating it slowly until I feel full. I believe that I was eating double of what I should, but then would not "eat" broth the rest of the day, but would focus on drinking my protein shakes.   Even with the completion of my third week coming up and soft foods will soon be on my menu, I am still only allowed 500 calories. This is somewhat concerning to me in that a protein shake that I am loving automatically gives me 220 calories. I can reduce that by using just water to make my shake as opposed to a cup of soy milk and half a cup of water; though with the current way I make my shake, I get 33g of protein in. I'm considering having that shake as a "breakfast" and shake combo.   I am also concerned about the 500 calories since I will be starting to exercise, besides the everyday walking that I do. I will start slow, but I also know that beforehand I could burn 400 calories with 30mins of cardio. I trust my doctor, so I just have to hold on to that while wrapping my head around the idea of small calorie intake and the addition of cardio and eventually strength training.   With all these changes that I've been going through, I've realized that I've been focusing on the wrong numbers: instead of focusing on my number triad of 500/50/<40, I have been focusing on the number on the scale. and disappointed in that I see no difference in my body shape. Still, I know I am losing weight, and I tell/comfort myself with the idea that I may be losing slowly compared to others but that could be good for me skin wise and also, just adjustment wise.   I've taken to keeping a food diary, and have set up a weight loss chart to remind myself that even if I cannot see a difference, I am losing weight and am on track.   With all that being said, I am glad that I've taken this big step and am making progress on my journey. I've realized my mistakes and am seeking to correct them. I am working on my water intake, thought I do get my full amount of liquids in through the broth, shakes and bit of water I do drink. I know I need to get better at my water intake since I will be trying soft foods soon, so I will be including broth less and less in my liquid intake (and really, I am getting so freaking tired of chicken broth).   I am making my way down this path and with each little step I'm realizing past mistakes in the way I ate and took care of myself, and I'm realizing the mistakes I was making now and am working on correcting those. Sometimes, things that are worthwhile must be worked for and earned so their enjoyment is that much sweeter. My life will be so much sweeter learning and meeting the new me.   And for now, in the short term, the sweetness will come with my first scrambled egg!
MrsGamer

MrsGamer

0
FLORIDAYS' Blog
 

I don't understand

Like many others i am sure.... I get a lot of PMs from people at different stages of their journey asking how they can be as successful as I have been, what were my challenges, what do I eat etc....... And I answer each and every question. A handful of people, write back thanking me or expressing their concerns, frustrations etc....But I really am not sure why most of the others actually do not... I offer my opinions, answer their questions and give them the what worked for me speech... And then I never hear from them again. Not even a thanks for taking the time to answer me...   I am not expecting life long pen pals and i I am greatful when Someone actually acknowledges my repy... But for someone to take the time to write, m to take the time to answer I am baffled as to why they don't acknowledge my answer.   Just another thing to make you go hmmmmm    
FLORIDAYS

FLORIDAYS

14
castiel's Blog
 

Stall, thoughts, and other ramblings

I stepped on the scale today and it went down 3 pounds! I'm at 243. I can't recall the last time I was this weight. I've been above 250 probably since junior year of high school. I hit my highest weight ever of 275 my freshman year of college. It feels odd, but I'm glad the scale finally moved.   I can't believe I'm 43 pounds from onederland. I remember hitting 200 pounds in middle school and crying. My best childhood friend told me that she remembers me crying about it to her. I think by May I could be in onederland. IN TIME FOR GRADUATION... WHOOHOO! They say the first 6 months you lose the most. And I get to start the gym this week. My family has a membership at the Y, so at least I can get back into bike riding (which i miss like crazy) and build up some stamina before Sunday when I go back to school.   I'm really nervous about heading back to college because I go to a school where there are literally less than 20 fat students on campus. And from noticing the lack of visible fat people on campus, I've immersed myself within the body acceptance and fat acceptance movement online. I've come a long way in accepting and loving myself and reclaiming the word fat. Fat is just a word. It does not mean you are worthless or disgusting. My journey is about doing incredible physical things with my body and helping my PCOS as well as trying to prevent health issues that run in my family. I have history of diabetes, heart attack, and stroke in my family. And that's just from my mother's side. I don't know anything about my biological father's history, so my stepfather's (whom I've called dad all my life) doesn't count lol.   I go to a school that's very privileged, where the wealthy are thin, and I see first hand that thin privilege exists. Anyway, I'm nervous for college because my gym is full of thin young men and women. It's constantly packed. I've never set foot in the gym because it makes me so uncomfortable being the only fat person there. My dad says I need to say screw it, because this is about me, not them. I'm bettering myself. I just wish there was a plus size network that I could connect to at school so we could go together. Maybe my roommate will go with me since her doctor told her she needs to work out to help with her stress headaches. I just don't want to be looked at or whispered about. And I don't want to look like an idiot who doesn't know where the equipment is or how to use it because it's different than the Y. The weight area is generally full of men, and the women's studies majors have written theses about it, but I gotta scout out to equipment and weights before I use them. I know there are some women on sports teams that use it, and I want to use weights too! In the meantime I might buy myself a set of interchangeable weights besides the 5 pound weights I own now. I really want to get on board with toning and building muscle in my arms WHILE losing weight, not after losing weight. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________   In other news, I'm going into my 4th week on the food stage. Which means soft foods, and I started today :] I had 3 hard boiled egg whites. I made the mistake of not chewing enough, I was too eager, and I didn't have pain per se, but this incredible full feeling bordering on discomfort as if the eggs were something hard in my stomach. I chewed more diligently after that. I also finished the rest of my pureed chicken from last night and had about 3 small meatballs. I felt guilty, but I ate a little thing that I shouldn't have. It was 90 calories and 10 carbs, and all you need to know is it had chocolate on it. It was soft so I wasn't worried about it not going down. I mean I'm even allowed to have crackers (SO DRY) at this stage. I also found out peanut butter is hard for me to get down without it feeling like a paste is slowly leaking down my throat, just sitting there not making it down, even though it's on my list of foods for the soft food stage. So maybe I'll try it again later this week. Tuna is probably going to be my go to food. I can eat a whole can no problem. I also bought light mayo. I know I should've gotten fat free, but I need to work my way down to it because I knew it was gonna taste gross. I don't notice a difference with light, so once I get used to that, I'll eventually buy fat free in a few weeks.   I'm still having issues with not drinking for a half hour after I eat. I'm forcing myself to mark the time when I stop eating, and try to wait it out. I miss drinking with meals so much. The small portions and limited list of foods I can deal with, but not drinking anything before or after is killing me. Who would've thought that out of all things, drinking with meals is what I miss most. My main issues prior to surgery were eating foods that were a matter of convenience, eating large portions without feeling satisfied, and eating foods that were really bad for you but tasted delicious. I'm waiting for the food mourning to kick in a few weeks from now when I see things with bread that I want to eat so badly, or how easy it is at college to just grab that box of pasta and boil water and eat all those carbs. Eating is going to be hassle for me with all the planning. I plan on carting sippi boxes of muscle milk light in my bags from now on   I'm wondering if my PPIs aren't strong enough because I feel hunger, and I know that can be confused with acid. When I ate dinner tonight, I was able to eat a cup, A WHOLE FREAKING CUP, of unpureed chili over the course of 20 mins without feeling sick or getting to that full point where I feel it sitting in my esophagus.   I'm scared I'm going to give myself a leak. I need to be committed to measuring my food. Only 1/2 a cup. AND THAT'S IT. I see people on here who can only manage a few table spoons, meanwhile I'm sitting here with no nausea and eating like a champ. I don't want to be a failure. WHAT IF MY SLEEVE IS TOO BIG? what if my nerves are so dulled, I can't tell that I overstuffed myself and I give myself a leak? This is why I need to measure my stuff more accurately and not eye-ball things. There could be bad consequences (besides not losing weight) because of it. ___________________________________________________________________________________________   I noticed that there aren't a lot of blog updates on this site. I thought about making a wordpress blog or something like that, but I'm too lazy. The tumblr WLS community is small, and I don't connect with many of the users. I could use my old livejournal, but I don't know about that since I use it for other things. This is kind of like a diary for me, to look back on my thoughts and issues during my journey. I get comfort (and paranoia) to know that people are reading my posts, even if it's just one person.
castiel

castiel

3
John A's Blog
 

1 Week out

After the 3-4 month pre-surgery hurdles done, I am one week out. Tomorrow( 08 Jan 13) is the required education meeting with my spouse. THey say it takes some 6-8 hours, we have scheduled all day.   I am having a hiatial hernia repair at the same time, and all were approved by Anthem BCBS on the first round. I really think Michelle, the Insurance coordinator at IU Health (Bariatric) is the real reason everything went through so fast.   Looking foward to having this done, but still very nervous.   I have really struggled with the Pre-surgery diet, have been about a 90%er with it, some days good, some not so good. My surgery date is next Monday, 01-14-13. I really appreciate all the forums, they help answer alot of questions.   Later.......
John A

John A

2
RACAL's Blog
 

Help with week three...

I am just going into week 3 and for some reason am having tons of trouble with the food. Week 1 + 2 were smooth sailing. My Doctor is allowing me Yogerts,cream soups,cottage cheese,eggs,jello and sf pudding. It sounds like plenty to chose from....yet I am so over any milk products. (I am Lactose intolerant) Any suggestions on what to eat so I dont keep "cheating",I do not want mess this up or hurt my band.
RACAL

RACAL

1
ladybabie3's Blog
 

People are always in your corner!!!

So I have a co-worker who was banded in February, and when I tell you she has been helping me, she is a God Send. I'm half way through my my first day of pre-surgery liquid diet. When I felt myself getting hungry I went for a walk and it helped. I see that when the hungry pains come in to drink water and do things to take your mind off of it. Mind Over Matter!! I will be checking back in tomorrow. Plus I will be doing before and after pic's soon. Jan 21, 2013 will be here before I no it.
ladybabie3

ladybabie3

6
Kime-lou's Blog
 

Spinach and Onion Fritata

This was an awesome dinner. It comes in about 250 calories a serving with 16.5 grams of protein.   Ingrediant:   1 large potatoe sliced thinly (you many not use all of it) 1 large onion diced 2 teaspoons of garlic minced 1 box of frozen defrosted and drained chopped spinach 4 eggs 1 cup of skim milk 1/4 cup of sh. cheese salt and pepper to taste 3 table spoons olive oil   Heat oven to 350 - place a cookie sheet inside   Slice potatoes evenly and thinly - coat with 1 TBS of olive oil - dash of salt and pepper Remove cookie sheet from oven and place a layer of potatoes on the sheet- bake for about 10-12 min (you want the potato just tender)   In a skillet add 2 TBS of olive oil- diced onion, minced garlic. Cook until onion is almost done, then add drained spinach and mix well.   In a bowl mix 4 eggs, 1 cup milk, cheese- add salt and pepper to taste.   When potatoes are just tender remove from oven and place in the bottom of a Pam sprayed casserole bowl (I used a large corningware round bowl). Just cover the bottom with potatoe for the crust. Pour egg and spinach mixture over top.   Bake for 30 min or until center is set.   This was so good. It make 4 portions so I have left over for my lunch today or I could have had it for breakfast.   You can also play with the recipe adding different seasoning to the potatoes or add salsa, mushrooms, peppers- almost anything to the mix.   Bottom line it was good, filling, and low cal.
Kime-lou

Kime-lou

2
Paul11011's Blog
 

Hey! How about an update?

Wow, it's been a long time since I have been here. Post sleeve life has been good. Ups and downs and unforeseen events but the majority of it I would not trade if I could. Weight is still an important part of my life but it does not hold the control over me that it did while I was obese or even that it did for the first 18 months post op. I was fanatical about doing everything right in order to shed the weight as quickly as I could. It worked by following the recommendations of my surgical center professionals. I have since realized I can not live the rest of my life so regimented and constrained. That does not however mean that those things that were recommended and I proved worked will be abandoned. It is really about using those tools I learned, in addition to my surgical tool, to manage my weight for the rest of my life. My weight is under my control I am not under it's control.   I started my journey on Nov 23, 2010 at 492lbs. One year post op (Jan. 10, 2012) I was 200. Today nearly 2 years post op. (Jan 7, 2013) I set here at 196. This is about 6 lbs heavier than I want to be. I had gotten to a low weight of 177 around September 2012. I was still 4lbs away from "ïdeal" weight but my body fat was under 9% and I felt like crap. For once in my life I made a conscientious decision to be heavier. That concept is still surreal to me even as I type this. I found that I felt the best and looked the best in a range between 185 and 195. I am using a target of 190 as my new life goal. Now is where I get to make myself feel better and preface that this is all weight before any removal of loose skin so in all reality my "real" body does weight less. My best guess based on others I have seen that have had removal is that I have at least 25lbs of skin that could go. Will I ever be able to get the skin removed so that I can actually see what my "real"body looks like? Who knows, I doubt it. And yes there is a bunch of extra skin. I like to make jokes about it, after-all who doesn't want a butt that looks like a Shar-Pei? The reality though is that it sucks. I have bags and folds that are a constant reminder of the size this container used to be. I can dress it well but in my birthday suit it is not a pleasant sight. Uhhhhggggg! Is the extra skin burdensome enough to regret the decision to have surgery, nope, never. The surgery is still the best decision I have ever made.   One statement of advice to those looking to go through this that have significant others (in the pre-politically correct days I would have said spouses). Be very aware of what THEY are going through as you are on your journey. This affects them too and often in a blindsiding way. Even the most supportive and enthusiastic partner can get lost in the waves of attention that a successful WLS patient will be seeing. And trust me, when they get swept under and begin to feel like WLS has unexpectedly become their whole life too.....the results are not good.   I hope you all are doing well and I will be back more often. I had forgotten how good it feels to simply put into text what is swimming around in my mind. Take care Ya'll!
Paul11011

Paul11011

5
Kekeboo's Blog Menu
 

Monday Jan. 7th Menu

Well, I am so lost since I quit working. I wrote the wrong date on yesterdays menu. LOL... Breakfast: 1c. of coffee with sugarfree creamer and 2T sugar sub. 1egg scrambled with pinch of cheese, 1T light cream cheese, s/p, chives 1/4c. scrambled turkey sausage.   Lunch: Tuna Muffin 3 brussel sprouts   Dinner: Turkey burger with lettuce, tomato, pickles and mustard, slice of lowfat cheese.   All my kids are back in school today. It feels weird sitting home by myself. My kids took one car and my husband took the other. So, if I want to go anywhere I am walking. Right now it's only 30 degrees so it doesn't look like I'll be leaving the house today. That's ok, I see lots of things that I can do in the house. We got all the christmas stuff out of the house so I can move my treadmill back to where it belongs and go for a walk on that.   I really am hoping the school will call soon, I would like to work a few days a week to get out of the house.   I had my weigh in about 2 weeks ago and I am down to 219. That's 31lbs since July 16th, 2012 and 40 since July 1st(preop) Very excited to see the results, my nurse also showed me picture they took during my consult...Wow, didn't realize what a difference 30lbs can make. Time to start my day....
Kekeboo

Kekeboo

1
Kekeboo's Blog Menu
 

Sunday Jan. 5th Menu

Breakfast: Plain greek yogurt w/vanilla whey protien, raspberries and splash of lime juice   Lunch: Taco salad   Dinner: Spaghetti with dreamfields pasta   2c. of coffee 1c. of green tea 64 oz of water with mio
Kekeboo

Kekeboo

0
Shannalee's Blog
 

Looking Through Pictures....

Happy New Year everyone   So I made it through the Christmas season without gaining a single pound. Now that is a first but we will see how the next 3 months goes because I start my supervised diet tomorrow. I have faith that I will do good and even though my doc doesn't care that I don't lose any weight I am still going to try. He actually is really excited about my journey as well as my registered nurse. I had an appointment with her on Friday and she was really giddy about me and my journey. I think that was the push that I needed to really work on the issue and be completely ready for my surgery in May. Any who....enough about that and more about the project that I have started with the encouragement from my therapist.   When I was home for Christmas I looked through pictures of me from when I was born until high school and noticed the weight gain that I never noticed before. I think when I hit junior high school is when the weight started to increase. With that being said you can also notice the ups and downs weight that I had as a small child. I even found a picture of me stuffing my face (I think I was about 5 or 6) and my dad laying down on the couch eating as well. I guess father like daughter is actually true after seeing that picture   While looking through the pictures I actually became sad. I noticed how cute I was as a child and what would it have been like if I wasn't as overweight in school and in my 20's. Would things be different or would I be different than I am now. I was so innocent as a child that I don't think I realized that what I did back then would actually hurt me today. I am about to turn 35 in less than 14 days and I have more motivation now than I did 10 years ago.   2013 is going to be my year and I soooo look forward to sharing it with each and every one of you all.
Shannalee

Shannalee

0

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