Surgery on the 29th June but having a wobble !

[Oasis 8]

Hi I am due to have surgery on the 29th June but I am getting the jitters.

I would be fine if everyone around me was more positive but my children and partner are really anxious about it and all I am hearing is the 'what ifs'.

I am on a guilt trip thinking if anything did happen I would have been the one who made this choice.

Please help you guys ❤️❤️❤️

[Oasis 8]

There was a lady I messaged on here who was the same weight and height as me who lives in London and had surgery in Prague said she would chat to me on the phone but I can't find her message to contact her again.

[Bufflehead 6,358]

The truth of the matter is that by choosing surgery, you are reducing your chance of death in the next five years by 90 percent (seriously, there are published studies on this -- if you take two random obese people and give one of them weight loss surgery and the other no surgery, the no surgery one is 90% more likely to die in the next five years).

So, you are making an incredibly smart choice to have surgery. There is basically nothing you could do that would improve the odds of being around for your children and partner more.

This surgery is less dangerous than knee replacement surgery. If you were suffering with horrendous knee pain every day and a knee replacement had been recommended, do you think your children and partner would tell you not to have it, you should just suffer instead?

Being obese and unhealthy is no way to live, not for them and not for you. It's normal to be afraid of surgery but if you look at things rationally, obesity is really, truly, much scarier.

[chele367 81]

Yep, being sleeved on June 8th and the people whom I thought would be the happiest like my aunt and dad, are the ones who say they do not understand. Especially since I have lost over 30 lbs pre-op. All they need to do is realize I am 49 and lost and gained the same weight over and over so how is diet alone going to do it this time?? I am also a single mom of a 15 year old daughter. This is the hardest part knowing i need to make a will. Here is the other part, the most important at least now I maybe around to see her get married one day and have her own family. We could go at anytime no matter how, what, when and where. At least you are reaching for life choosing WLS. Good luck, you got this! Stop listening to others, they just do not get it.

-Michele

[chele367 81]

One more thing, what I have realized too is that our loved ones are afraid it is coming from love. Remind them that these procedures are preformed all over the world, hundred times a day with low mortality rate. Also, people are confronted with knowing you are going to change and so therefore they have to change. In it to win it!!!!! High Five!!!

[Oasis 8]

Thank you for your kind messages of encouragement ladies ❤️

[mlbdl 86]

My surgery is scheduled for June 30. I've been going to the monthly support group my surgeon's office runs, and tonight was the May session. The surgeon showed up this time, and he asked if anyone had any questions. So I asked him if he had any advice to keep me from freaking out and backing out of the surgery because I was starting to get nervous. He said Xanax (kind of joking but not really). But then he asked the group if anyone was happy they had the surgery. The entire room (maybe 40+ ppl?) all nodded, raised their hands, etc. to indicate that they were all happy. I couldn't believe the outpouring of support I got from the folks in that room. Many people spoke up during the session about their experiences and why, although feeling scared is normal, doing it will be the best thing I could do for myself long-term. I had several people give me their names and numbers to call anytime. It took me over 30 minutes to leave after the session was over.

I'm telling you this story because each person in there had a different experience, have different family dynamics,maybe a sleeve or maybe bypass, slightly different outcomes, some had complications, various amounts of time since the surgery - from 3 DAYS to 5+ years. Each one did not regret doing the surgery.

I had a cousin that kept asking me if I was sure if I really needed the surgery, was there no other way, etc. She told me that if anything happened to me that she'd be devastated. I finally had to tell her to stop it, I've done the research, I know what I'm doing (that's the logical part of me talking) and that if she really loved me, she'd support me. She hasn't given me a guilt trip since and has been completely supportive. I've had similar experiences with other people, too.

I'm sorry I'm so long-winded. Just know that you made this decision for a reason(s). Good luck!

[brookebonic 29]

I'm having it on the 21st. Anyone who wants to make an email chain (I know I know, or FB group message??) support group should message me your email!

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