Emotional Eating...

[nicash4 4]

I have a surgery date of November 16th. So I'm between being approved and starting all my preoperative testing. One of my main concerns about getting sleeved is how I'm going to deal with handling my emotions. I have my MSW so I'm very familiar with therapy and helping OTHERS learn to cope with their emotions but I deal with mine through food. I have just taken my state licensing exam for the third time and failed. I have never been a strong test taker, mainly because I constantly second guess myself or I look too far into the questions are hand. I've been trying to deal with various situations without food because in a month or so I will no longer have that option to just go through a drive thru and order everything. Right now I just want to eat...everything because for the brief moment I'll feel better.

Aside from therapy, how have you dealt with the aspects of emotional eating or even binge eating as a coping skill (pre and post op)?

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

I haven't done therapy but did journal pre- and post-op. I identified my triggers for eating and put plans in place to stop them. For me, I am a stress eater and a bored eater. I have learned to identify my triggers and find other things to do or drink Water.

Lots of folks have posted their eating problems are much deeper. For those, therapy is in order. Therapy would also be in order if you cannot control your eating on your own. It takes work not just identifying the problems but putting solutions in place and sticking to them.

Good luck!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

For me, out of house, out of mind.

People talk about willpower... well, if you can make a good decision ONCE (at the grocery store) it saves you from having to make that good decision a million times a day. I quickly found that "snacking" on like sandwich meat just wasn't that appealing...haha. Overtime, the lack of availability of the bad habit reduced the reliance/craving on the bad habit.

Even 4 years post op, i still have trigger foods and I just watch them closely, avoid them generally... or if I do have them, in a quantity controlled setting. Example, I never buy a package of nutter butters or a snickers bar cuz I am pretty sure I would eat them. I just don't have them around and I don't have to "test" how strong my willpower is....

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I was an emotional eater. I would eat when I was happy and eat when I was sad. I'm not one to deprive myself, so I always felt like I deserved a "treat".

There are a few ways I worked myself out of it. I had to rethink what a treat is. A lipstick is $16-32, instead of getting a meal, I could get a lipstick or save that money for something bigger, a better treat. That is one thing. Gotta keep that Sephora VIB Rouge status.

@@CowgirlJane Is right about your house and the grocery store. There is nothing bad here. Even if I ate any of the sweet things here, or made something with the stuff in my house, it is all Keto and low carb friendly. There is no real sugar here, no flour, etc. There is almond meal, coconut flour, swerve, etc. The bad things are Quest bars, and Atkins indulge, not the best choices but they won't knock me out of ketosis, and they aren't banned. There are just better choices.

Cook for yourself. Cook everything. Cook your treats. I like cooking and baking, but all the prep work and time that foes into making things for one person, then just having a tiny amount, meh. Maybe I am just lazy, but even a mug cake can seem like too much work sometimes. When I think about all the steps, the pause that I take to do that lets me think about what I am going to do.

Log everything you eat, even the bad, especially the bad stuff. So you can see it in print. When you see the macros on your emotional eating, it will probably turn you off, and make it less enticing. If you work out and know that even in an hour you can't work off what you ate in 5 minutes, you think differently.

Everything I said before comes back to being mindful about what you are eating and why. Pause before eating anything. Think about how it benefits or harms you.

Lastly surgery really helps. The pre-op diet, where you basically starve for days (some people have better plans than others) and that final day, where you have nothing basically but Water and broth, trains you. It is basically like going through detox for addicts. Then the week you are on Clear liquids and then the next week on full liquids helps. Also after surgery, at first (not forever), eating is a chore. It hurts, its hard, it can be frightening (if you eat too much or too fast). Your attitude towards food will change. The key is to try and keep this attitude long term. You have to mentally focus on your weight loss goals. I think about everything I went through to get to this point, if I am contemplating a bad choice, and that makes me stop.

Also for me, I have a complete disconnect between my brain and stomach since surgery. I used to think about something I wanted, like a double cheese burger, and my body would react and my stomach juices would start flowing and I would be very hungry just thinking about something I wanted. Now I can think about anything I want, all of my favorites, and nothing happens, so the thoughts end up being fleeting. Before I would just fixate because my mind and body were working in tandem, that doesn't happen now. That is a new kind of built in willpower, that is a different feeling. I have had to work with that feeling. I can still let my brain take over and just eat even if I am not hungry, but it is hollow. You just don't get the same satisfaction.

Lastly, being aware of your issues is a good first step. Also find a buddy to talk to on those rough days. Good luck

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

For me, it has taken a combination of a whole arsenal of tools and experiences throughout the years. It isn't an instant fix, but a process. I think that one of the reasons I have had such a relatively easy post-op recovery is all the many years of preparation that led me to this point in time.

It has taken years of therapy, support groups (12-step and group counseling), reading, listening, journaling, practicing, failing, maturing, praying, crying, and just living.

Personally, I think you get the biggest bang for your "buck" from counseling and 12-step work.

You also have some great resources to use with your bariatric team: your NUT, your psych, and even support groups if they are available.

This forum is also a great resource!

If you haven't done any intensive work around your emotional eating and you feel that this is an area where you need help, then now would be a great time to bring out the big guns.

[Babbs 14,680]

Example, I never buy a package of nutter butters or a snickers bar cuz I am pretty sure I would eat them.

OMG Nutter Butters! I used to be able to polish off a whole package in a day or 2. Yeah, those wouldn't be allowed in my house anymore!

It was bad enough yesterday that my husband had bought some pastries for his work crew in the morning, along with some chocolate donut holes. They were calling my name, but I resisted!

Sometimes I feel like an addict or alcoholic. I have to just take it one day, even one minute, at a time.

[BestDayEver 418]

I hate it when food calls my name! Lol ???? I can totally relate to that. I read the Beck Diet Solution and have some helpful coping mechanisms written on my phone and my list of reasons for losing weight. I find this helpful.

[katesuccess 990]

I'm with you all - if I bring it into my house or car, I'll likely eat it.

Since the best place to make that choice is BEFORE I buy it, (and I often have to shop at times my defenses might be down), I've started a new thing; When I get out of my car and head for the door of the grocery store, I say out loud "I'm not buying any Cookies today!" or whatever it is I'm jonesing for in the moment. It's helped me several times I was afraid I'd cave in. Silly, small, but there it is.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I just received via email from our local bariatric support group coordinator a short PowerPoint file on food addiction -- a term that gets bandied about with abandon on these boards.

But some things seemed very relevant to your situation and challenges. Here are the slides' keystrokes:

Biology of Hunger

* Ghrelin

- Hormone that tells us we are hungry

- Produced in the stomach

* Leptin

- Hormone that tells us we are full

- Produced in fat cells

* WE CAN OVER-RIDE THIS NATURAL BIOLOGICAL SYSTEM

(This next slide was the one that made me go, "Whoa!")

Palatability

* "Pleasant to taste"

* Combination of sugar, salt, fat

* "Bliss point"

- Point at which we get the greatest pleasure from sugar, salt, fat

- Studies show that people overeat when they have unlimited access to a variety of foods with sugar, salt, fat

"Conditioned hyper-eating"

* Creates the habit in our brains

* Mindless eating

* Cue - triggers - emotions

Planned Eating

* Replaces chaos with structure

* Just-right eating

* Choosing foods that satisfy

* Eating foods you enjoy

* Identify foods you can control and that are at least as satisfying as those you used to eat

Replacing chaos with structure

* What is permissible and what is not

* Repeatable behaviors that guide us past temptation and towards what satisfies

* Sets up parallel food universe while participating in normal social/work activities

* Eliminates your mental tug-of-war

* Protects yourself from hunger

Just Right Eating

* Right portion sizes and foods that keep you satisfied for 4 hours

* If you are eating beyond hunger, then you are eating for reward, not satiety

* Foods that satisfy

- More Protein / fat

- Less carbs

Dunno if this helps at all -- but thought it might a little.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@VSGAnn2014 Was it Dr Kessler that wrote the book about this? Essentially it is the idea that we CRAVE that salty sweet crappy stuff but we don't necessarily actually LIKE it. There is something very strange about how this works.

Anyway, the summary you posted was right on target for me. If I eat better/healthier that is what I want. I don't mean to say I am perfect, but eating well most of the time really helps reduce cravings and stuff.

I often joke about how I couldn't resist a snickers bar (one of my old very bad habits) but in truth, the thought of one of those makes me feel kinda sick. I'd much rather have a small piece of very fine chocolate than the king size snickers these days...

[Remmy75 32]

One of the big things I started doing preop was walking to relieve my stress. I would walk at lunch time at work. I made it part of my schedule it was non negotiable. If meetings or work interfered with it I made time later to it.

I found going for a walk and eating a healthy lunch I brought from home did wonders for me. It was better than the old me who would go out and get the biggest unhealthy lunch I could find.

I also added walking in the evening after dinner. It was my way to unwind. I replaced my snacking and sitting on the computer time with walking. It became my active meditation time to unwind instead of eating and sitting on my butt.

It's a matter of replacing unhealthy coping tools with healthy ones. Now if I don't get my walk I get upset. I need that time to myself to get my head right.

[Megdelyn 85]

Lots of great suggestions here. I use a lot of them to control my desire to overeat (still, even with the surgery the desire is there). I also recorded a whole bunch of episodes of My 600 Pound Life. It keeps me motivated, much the same way that watching Hoarders motivates me to clean up my house! It reminds me that I'm not alone, that my struggle isn't unique, and that success or failure is in my hands.

[KarenLoh 128]

The only way I was able to learn to do this was to DO IT for a while and have to sit with my emotions without food. I only seem to learn by practice and sitting quietly and mindfully while not eating helped me learn to go ahead and feel my emotions instead of burying them in food. I had to do it during the phase when I had to prove I could lose weight in order to get approved for the surgery. Then the big time was during the pre-op liquid diet -- I was so amazed at how emotional I felt and how I had to just sit with this stuff time after time after time after time until I could calmly accept my emotions and move on with my life. It's not easy.

I did do some therapy around this but it didn't help except to help me realize that I'm really okay just the way I am and that I can handle whatever comes when it comes.

Good luck to you. It is a journey but I have enjoyed this journey very much.

[byebyedarkpassenger 203]

What has kept me from emotional eating (so far) are the following:

1. Making a commitment to myself that the sleeve is going to be my key to success and that I will not undergo surgery if I can't commit to the program. I'm about six weeks out now.

2. Logging my food. Every bite, every day.

3. Realizing that emotional eating is diminished in a crazy way whenever I exercise.

4. Realizing that binge eating is diminished in a crazy way whenever I exercise.

My binging and emotional eating usually take place either after something upsets me or, more usually, in the evening when I get home and have time to reflect. So I've started to exercise during what I consider to be my "witching hour", 8-9 pm, and it has done wonders for curving my cravings.

Just looked at the clock. I have 10 minutes to get to the gym or else I turn into a bottomless pit. Gotta go!

[staceface09 5]

I know this thread is a little older but the information that everyone provided on here is extremely helpful!! Thank you!!! I am a food addict .. I am an emotional eater.. It is very hard to resist temptation sometimes, especially during colder months. Some of the posts on this thread have given me some new ideas and insight. ????????????