1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I agree with what others have posted. It is a struggle for anyone to lose weight (with or without WLS) and I understand your frustration. I just tend to approach something like this as a problem to solve with some concrete adjustments rather than giving in to feeling hopeless. You have lost weight and will lose more.

I agree with Lipstick Ladies observation about carbs.

You also mentioned diluted lemonade and juices. If you are not getting enough fluids, drinking fluids with calories and sugar is probably not helpful. I know how hard it is to get enough fluids (it is my personal challenge/focus area right now). Try setting some short term smaller Fluid goals throughout the day. Maybe when you have the urge to snack drink at least 8 oz of Water before you allow yourself to get a snack. Then, if you still have the urge for a snack make sure it's low-carb/high Protein.

Also, even though you didn't find therapy helpful before, you might want to consider seeing someone again. for another perspective.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

As you can see I am not perfect. Could I do better, yes. But ultimately I feel like I’m not being heard. It’s almost like people are fanatical about VSG (hell I would be too if I had such amazing successes some of you have had) and don’t want to read about negative experiences. All I want folks to admit is that maybe the surgery doesn’t work for everyone. Maybe you can do all you were supposed to and still fail. Maybe some people never reach goal. Am I supposed to believe that over 1.5 years is when I’m going to start experience rapid weight loss?

...

Can you at least admit that is a difficult thing? That is what causes me to break down and fear maybe being thin is not in the cards for me.

Yes, I can absolutely admit that it can be difficult and I do hear you.

I just don't agree that you sound like a case where the surgery failed. It just sounds to me that you have not found the combination of things you are willing to do to make it work for you and that you gave up (temporarily I hope) in frustration.

Yes, some people do not reach "goal". Sometimes it's because they give up and go back to bad habits and sometimes it's because the goal is unrealistic.

Since you are posting on this site, it sounds to me like you haven't given up.

[tami miller 35 5]

I feel the exact same way, I started my journey at 526.4 lbs, and 3 yrs out I've only lost 200+-. I get so aggravated with myself, that I stay depressed.

Edited July 7, 2015 by tami miller 35

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I feel the exact same way, I started my journey at 526.4 lbs, and 3 yrs out I've only lost 200+-. I get so aggravated with myself, that I stay depressed.

You lost 200 plus pounds! There is no ONLY allowed. Celebrate your success. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Maybe you just needed a break to get your second wind.

[angry 158]

I agree with lipstick lady (apparently some things never change) you are eating a lot of calories. I am almost two years out and unless I eat bad food all day (pizza, hot wings, etc.) because of the small amount that I am able to eat I am usually topping out at 700-8-- calories. You have to watch the juice, wine is my vice and I am embarrassed to say I recently looked at the number of calories I was drinking and was suddenly in awe of the fact that I have managed not to gain weight. If you hate your Protein Shake it is no good so I would suggest chike coffee Protein (if you like coffee) I look forward to drinking it every morning. I also think trying all Protein Shakes might be a good idea just to kind of reset yourself and your relationship with food. Just remember you might not be where you want to be, but at least youre not where you were.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I agree with lipstick lady (apparently some things never change) ...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Agreeing with me a a good thing.

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

@

Let me start by saying that I hear and sympathize with your frustration and disappointment. It is totally unfair that you cannot lose weight on a 1200-1400 calorie diet, especially since you exercise regularly. Although that calorie level is low enough for an athletic person who has never been obese, most of us post-ops have to be on more restrictive regimens to lose weight. That being said, you deserve to achieve your goals. Please don't give up. You have already achieved a lot. A good nutritionist who is experienced with WLS patients should be able to guide you to your final goal.

[Elode 8,093]

@ Are you tracking your food?

[Sharon1964 2,530]

6. I used to go the bariatric support group that the hospital holds but haven’t been since last fall as I just got sick of the self-congratulatory BS. At first, it was great to hear success stories, get tips and inspiration but I never felt heard. Any time I tried to bring up my issues, everyone was quick to throw suggestions at me (drink more Water, eat more protein) or tell me to be patient, I’ll see results soon. Same with when I went to a therapist. Hearing this just made me antsy months after months of barely seeing results.

But ultimately I feel like I’m not being heard. It’s almost like people are fanatical about VSG (hell I would be too if I had such amazing successes some of you have had) and don’t want to read about negative experiences. All I want folks to admit is that maybe the surgery doesn’t work for everyone. Maybe you can do all you were supposed to and still fail. Maybe some people never reach goal. Am I supposed to believe that over 1.5 years is when I’m going to start experience rapid weight loss?

I highlighted some things in your post that I think are important.

You feel like you're not being heard, but when people gave you suggestions you don't like that either. They're telling you what worked for them; most of the time, that's all someone knows - what worked for them. I'm unclear as to what you wanted from them.

Why do you feel you need to experience a rapid weight loss to be successful? You've lost over 80 pounds. OVER EIGHTY POUNDS! Congratulations! That is awesome! Does it matter if you lost 80 pounds in 5 months or 80 pounds in 15 months? Not really, you would still be exactly where you are today, at 1 1/2 yrs out.

What are you trying to say that you feel you're not being heard? That it is easy for some people and not for others? Yes, it is. That not the same exact thing works for everyone (upping calories, not upping calories)? Yep, true.

Do you feel like you got promised the "happily ever after" and no one delivered? As a creaky, cranky old lady, I can tell you that a whole heck of a lot of things never get delivered.

Think about this... in 1 1/2 years from now, what will your life be like? Are you going to be in the exact same place you are now, just a year and a half older? Or are you going to pull yourself up, get a grip, knock off eating the crap you're eating, and re-dedicate yourself to LIVING YOUR LIFE??

[Disabledaccount 154]

@@Sharon1964 @@Sharon1964 Where did it say I didn't like suggestions I got from folks so I dismissed them? Yes, people go with what they know but my point is I would go to these support groups month after month trying to express the atypical experience I was having and it was like an echo chamber. It was the sleeve works, if you're not seeing results then do this rather than hey maybe this works differently for people. Your experience is not mine and mine is not yours. That's what drove me crazy because to be in the puréed food phase and not seeing major drops? Really? It's like when you feel something is wrong in your gut and you go to the doctor and you're initially dismissed then you do further testing and it reveals you have a tumor. I was doing what I was supposed to be doing but the honeymoon period never materialized and I've gone between beating up myself and fearing the surgery didn't work and the weight wasn't going to come off throughout my journey.

Of course, I expected rapid weight loss at some point why else would I have had my stomach cut out? To do worse than I did when I did Weight Watchers? (lost 32 pounds in 4 months the 1st time I did it) I started at well over 300 pounds discussed expectations with my surgeon and he estimated that most folks complete the journey 2 years out. I didn't meet a single expectation during the entire process, even my surgeon is disappointed (He finally admitted at my last check up that my results were not typical and suggested a duodenal switch) I don't even think I'd lost up to 40 pounds at the 6 months mark. It has literally been a tooth and nail fight peppered with so many stalls. For someone who started at a high BMI? C'mon. That's why I angry and frustrated is 1) If it was going to be this slow I ultimately feel like I could have lost 62 (I use my weight going into surgery so isn't even 80) in 1.8 months without the surgery. Im starting to have regrets 2) If I had a burst of weight loss I would be at a lower weight, not depressed about the pace and more motivated as I've seen results and believe in the program and more compelled to comply. Also life would just be freaking easier? I mean working out at 220 pounds vs 260 is easier no?

I've already wasted most of my youth being obese and getting a boost would have helped. Meeting goal in 2 years as opposed to 3 matters deeply to me. I am tired of being fat, self conscious & uncomfortable. Sure I've dropped some dress sizes but I pretty much look the same. And goal is still so far away and I don't even know how much longer it's going to take. I have had a tough journey, agonized about this internally for months and need to vent, get it out of my system and move forward.

Edited July 7, 2015 by startingoveryetagain

[Babbs 14,680]

I'm not quite sure what you want? Do you just want to vent about feeling like a failure (which you aren't) or take some of the great advice you've gotten here and put it into action instead of coming up with excuses and negativity? Because I can tell you right now, your mindset is not going to get you where you need to be.

People can give you spot on advice like you got here and in support groups til the cows come home, but if you're not willing to change your mindset (and your eating habits), all the complaining about how you're apparently the only person in the whole world who has to work harder than anybody else to lose weight after the sleeve isn't going to do you any good. You've got to put the advice into action and stop with the excuses and negative self talk. If you need therapy to do so, then please continue to go until you feel worthy enough to do what you need to do to be successful.

Attitude is everything with weight loss. I know it can get discouraging and cause people to lose motivation. But if you really want this, I mean REALLY want this, you'll find a way to fight through the discouragement and forge ahead and keep trying. You're well spoken and seem intelligent. I know you can do this.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I never experienced the "rapid" weight loss that everyone talked about either. I dropped 20 pounds with my pre-op diet and then after that it was 8ish pounds a month. Not rapid. Not even as fast as I lost doing WWs. That said, I never gave up on myself either. I pushed through the "disappointment" and the stalls, and I continued to work my ass off to get to where I wanted to be.

You say you stayed on point for the first 6 months? I stayed on point until I got to where I wanted to be. I ate less than 600 calories for at least 8 months and then increased it to 800 until I hit goal. I kept my carbs at under 30 grams and while I never hit my Protein goal of 100, I was usually right in there about 60.

You've not answered the tracking question and I wonder if you really know how much you are consuming. Are you logging every snack? Every nibble, lick and chew? Every sip of liquid that might have calories? I learned from WWs that those little tastes add up quickly and grazing is definitely the enemy of the average sleever.

I feel for you, but at the same time (you might want to stop reading NOW), I think you are on the verge of giving up on yourself. I do NOT think you are giving your tool the fair opportunity to work it's magic and you've decided that you are one of the few that "it doesn't work for". It's my OPINION that you are fooling yourself and that's a shame. You are worth so much more than that and I can only hope, for YOUR benefit, you figure that out and come around,

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

To the OP:

OK, you vented.

Now what do you want to do?

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I've already wasted most of my youth being obese and getting a boost would have helped. Meeting goal in 2 years as opposed to 3 matters deeply to me. I am tired of being fat, self conscious & uncomfortable. Sure I've dropped some dress sizes but I pretty much look the same. And goal is still so far away and I don't even know how much longer it's going to take. I have had a tough journey, agonized about this internally for months and need to vent, get it out of my system and move forward.

I am glad you want to move forward. Accept where you are and do that. It is what it is, and being pissed and feeling like you got a raw deal just won't change it. What that will do is make it HARDER than it already is. Remember, you are preaching to the choir here. We ALL got the same raw deal.

Anyone who had WLS knows how hard it is to lose weight. We all know what it's like to be in your shoes. We really do. I am still so shocked that I need to eat 800-900 calories a day to lose, yet others here post the exact same thing. It's our lot in life. Some of us lose super slow even doing that. It explains how we got so fat. It's damn hard work, and it's never ending.

I totally get that you want it to happen quickly. We all did. And it was not quick enough for most of us. I always thought it would be easier to stay on track as a thin person. Imagine my surprise to learn that it is not!

You are among friends here. We do hear you, and want you to hear us.

[jane13 2,256]

We are all struggling, some more than others - if you wanted to vent, we heard you. Its a tool (WLS), work it (like Lipstick Lady , Babbs & others suggested) or continue on as you have and accept whatever you weigh now (and then). You have to be truly honest about what YOU are doing to work towards your goal. Maybe you should do smaller goals and not look at BIG numbers. just saying.