100 lbs down and the unfortunate random things I've learned plus a few NSVs!

[rhodywoman 145]

Shine on!

[blondebomb 580]

SERIOUSLY???!! there is only 3 ppl that knows the truth of my weight journey an I am not about to start. I am soo sorry you had to deal with this neg garbage. it is jealously and many ppl cant handle change. thats why many just stay the same an when others around them do it rocks the boat. Im sitting here shaking my head side to side for ya. I do have one friend that has asked me how I have been losing..I am down 88 so not to far behind on the big 100!! but I told her (shes over 300) I told her I had to get off that path bc I was reaching close to the 280s and I had to STOP it dead in its tracks! I refused to stay on that toxic road. I told her I stopped all junk, no processed sugars, no HFCS, no modern grains, no wheat, got off all artifical sweetners and on a very strict diet an total portion control...which is no lie. I made these dietary changes over a yr ago. but I thought just maybe down the road I MIGHT clue her in on a few other details. I have over 12 dx on health issues an fibro is one...the first month out I felt decent..man after a month my body went into a rebellious flare!! alothough I also have lupus and polymyalgia so yes there is still alot of chronic pain...but Im managing. I am happy to hear your physically feeling much better an off meds! I am however off my cpap machine. prediabetes disappeared..bp is normal! my hubs cant keep his hands off me!! drives me nuts..u keep shinning girl and dont get brought down! keep chin up and head held high!! keep strutting gf!!!!

[jmscout6 27]

You know the truth, those who truly love you know the truth, the haters also know the truth, but they have to cut others down to make their miserable little lives better... HOLD YOUR HEAD UP AND WALK PROUD!!! You've come a long way to have anyone bring you down !!

[CocoPebbles1030 59]

Losing weight will definitely show you who your friends are. One of my pre-op requirements was for me to see a psychologist. He told me there would be people who weren't happy with my weight loss. He said there are people who's only link to me is my weight. I was surprised when he said it but I had surgery just two months ago and have lost 30 pounds. I've had some strange reactions and some real "haters". It's taught me to let go of the haters and embrace those who love me for me, no matter what size. It's also brought me and my "honey bunny" much closer. He's become even more of a protector which I love. Gravitate towards love and close the door on the haters. In the words of Jill Scott:

"Hate on me, hater, now or later

'Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be mad, baby
Go 'head and hate on me, hater, I'm not afraid of
What I got I paid for, you can hate on me"

Do you my friend

Read more: Jill Scott - Hate On Me Lyrics | MetroLyrics

[KristenVSG2014 1,871]

First, YOU GO GIRL! Congrats on the awesome accomplishment!! My highest weight was 290 and I can't wait to be 190!!

Second, "Let your haters be your motivators!" ???? I love your positive attitude.

[bobbyswife 862]

Stay focused on the good stuff! You're a rock star!

[shellyd88 463]

Sorry u had to experience that nasty bussiness they say misery loves company well they all have each other now don't they? rise above and keep going your husband sounds like a godsend how wonderful so be happy leave the negative where it belongs behind u congrats on your new life and hopefully better new friends to come ! I can somewhat relate I'm still pre op and have lost some friends already it devestated me for a while and I thought u know what I'm doing something different and nessecary to change my life for the better u can walk with me or stay behind but I will cannot and will not tolerate negativity and bitchy jealous judgemental people

[Beni 1,484]

You go and shine in California. Leave them all to their despicable little lives. I have a hard time relating to people who can hate this much. Wow! You are so right, you never know who is your friend until the getting gets though. Obviously seeing your success is too much for them to handle.

You are on the path to better and greater things, shine on!

[bellabill 253]

*First is my MAJOR scale victory, I am 100lbs down as of Sunday. Hw 290, Sw 282, Cw 190 from a size 20/22 to a size 8/10. Shoe from size 9W to an 8 regular.

*I no longer snore at all, which is big for me since it recently started and was so loud and disruptive to both my family and I. Now, nothing at all, they say im so silent they wonder if im breathing. I sleep so much better and more comfortably.

*Also, the late night cravings have gone away and I never wake up at night anymore so no more late night snacking.

*I no longer have pain from my Fibromyalgia and have stopped my medications completely!!!! I hate meds!!

******Sad to say that I have had serious negative responses to "MY LIFE" decision, here are some of the daggers in my heart...

-I've had family tell me, I didn't need the surgery, I was pretty enough even though I was "BIG"! As if I am so vein that I would do something so serious to my body just to look good...smh

-I was told, "I don't like this on u, it's not YOU, you're not meant to be this small"...SMH

Then, "I could never make myself sick every day just to look good". WAH? Who's that, I'm not sick at all...uneducated speakers make me wanna vomit if that's what u mean...UGH.

-another family member, "don't lose no more, we have enough crackheads out here, wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea". WTF???

THEN THE ABSOLUTE WORST OF ALL.....

-My husband threw me a big party when I hit my first goal of 200lbs. I invited all my favorite girls to a Glam Session to do makeovers and a photo shoot (my first pics public photos other than on BP) as a girls night but also as a celebration of my successes since at that time, I had also gotten a raise at work (Which is also suspect), a new luxury apt and a new car. I struggled over 2 years to gain these things from a 1 bedroom box apartment and no car to the new life that my hard work paid for. Do you know one friend was heard saying, "Why she gotta show off, now she think she something special because she lost weight, who's gonna shrink her head?" This hurt me the most because my husband offered me anything I wanted to Celebrate and all I asked is that he treat me and my girls, 17 of us to catered food from Carrabbas (My Fav), dj for the room, make up sessions with Mary Kay, we had a pure romance presentation, a man that was selling jewelry to enhance our look and a photographer to document the whole evening and take personal photo shoots as well, all this at no cost to them and this man made that happen just to Celebrate me and my accomplishments and I was extremely thankful beyond belief but also so hurt by not only the person making the comment but the 4 that entertained her, 2 by saying, "that's alright, when she fall, she gonna fall hard" "she got a new 2014 car but just asked me for $60 bucks just last week, she's a phony" -this was when I lost my bank card and had to wait for another and she was with me so I asked her instead of calling my husband. Lesson learned!

Basically I learned that people are not always who you think they are. Thank God I did what I did for me and not to impress anyone or seeking anyone's approval. I am happy with my decision and since I've noticed that ppl seem to be down for you as long as you stay down in life...on their level perhaps but the minute you move up, now your not good enough for them. I have since been uninvited to 4 events and the excuse was, " Oh I thought You'd be busy or traveling" REALLY? I was suppose to be celebrating but I literally cried for 3 days. Beyond the gains (materials) and the losses(weight), I thought I had support. I learned an ugly lesson that day and here's some I wish to pass on...

Make your moves for YOU!, Seek only approval from YOU! Make sure you have a true support system. Then my daughter sent me a comment picture that reads,"Don't dim your light simply because it's shining in their eyes" That's for you too. Be positive and don't let the haters tear you down.

I don't have a positive relationship with my family, been on my own since 16, so these women have always been around but now that I can't even share my life losses or gains with them...my husband is taking me away from it all, no more pain, no more tears, no more haters, we are moving to California, his home town and I will make new friends and hope and pray to share a good life together. He even says we will renew our vows so I can get a new dress vs the size 26 I had to wear in Jamaica. After 18 years, we will renew our vows in Santa Monica!!! Haven't told any of them yet but I bet they act like they care... but they probably don't and who cares, I'm over it!! It will be a last minute goodbye and an AWESOME 2015!!!!

I am happy and I will continue to be, I could have uplifted others but I will reach out to the real ones and help bring them up and we can pray together for those too busy hating on others to ever come up in life!! Good riddance to em'...

Love you guys, needed to get that out!! Thanks, whew!

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Congrats to your success! I wish you and your husband the best!! Thank you for warning us about heartless people!

[snowbound 60]

Stay focused on the good stuff! You're a rock star!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Girl you are rocking life! Leave them chicken heads in the dust! Now you know who your true friends are.

Congrats on all your success!

[Ainsleet 67]

This is an awesome story! Difficult but thank you for opening up. Maybe they always treated you poorly but at that time you felt that was all you deserved? Now you are powerful and beautiful and have learned so many lessons. It is not the quantity of friends but the quality. I thank God everyday for my wonderful, loving supportive friends. That love me, no matter what, for better or worse.

You are opening your heart too so that beauty is inside and out. Embrace it. You are right, do it for yourself. That is also the true nature of giving. When we do it anonymously, never expecting anything back.

And that daughter of yours? Embrace her!! For she just gave you a gift. That gift you passed on to

so many of us. We will embrace it too. In fact, I am going to write it down and post it on my bathroom mirror as a great affirmation. Give her a hug from me too. And one for you!

Ainslee

[Kathy812 794]

@@KeeWee, thanks for sharing your story. 100 pound weight loss that is phenomenal! and you are beautiful!

I am so sorry you had to go through that with your friends. When I was younger(in college) I used to tell my Parents I had a lot of friends. My dad told me something that I remember till this day. he said as you age, you will find that you can count your TRUE friends on one hand. I honestly can say today, he was right.

Best wishes to you and your new home state and thank God for your husband and your daughter.

[Chrystee 838]

I haven't had my surgery yet.. but I have a story about jealousy.. My best friend sat me down and said to me, you have to do something about your weight.. so I took those words to heart.. I started upping my workouts and counting calories, I lost 30 pounds... I used to post my workouts on facebook.. eventually, she told me (cause she had lost 60 pounds after having a baby, but was always slim) that I was stealing her thunder.. that all she had was her weight loss and I was taking that away from her.. I was really shocked.. hadn't she just sat me down a few months ago and said, hey, do something about your weight? Then it was about my husband and my faith.. so, yea, people are hating on you and you don't even know it, and when your life lines up and theirs doesn't, they hate you even more..

Edited December 12, 2014 by Chrystee

[Dr-Patient 830]

Not everybody you think is a "friend" actually is. In a sermon, I once heard "...I'm leaving you behind!" Sometimes you have to just leave folks behind if they can't get on board as you better yourself. That's why I didn't tell many folks--especially WOMEN friends--because folks hate, and women can be catty.

@@KeeWee, and others...check this out:

The best quote I ever saw about "HATERS' is: "And when you do your thing, remember...you will have 'haters,' but never let people get you off track. Sometimes even family members will become jealous, try to derail you and destroy your spirit. But no matter what obstacles come against you, you can make it if you treat people right, stay focused on your goal and stay true to yourself and your God." I LOVE that.

It's in a book I recommend to all women cuz it has stats in there for Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans. It's the only book I've found that gives the public thost comparative stats, but especially Black female patients. It's about health, sex and happiness when many social issues affect Black women's health and diagnoses are more advanced. (It's a great stocking stuffer, imo.) Oh! Denzel's wife Pauletta wrote the foreword. That's good. I love Denzel.

Living Well, Despite Catchin H***: The Black Woman's Guide to Health, Sex & Happiness: http://amzn.to/VX8wRk . FYI: The "h***" is stuff like low marriage stats, others behaving badly, reflecting on everyone; something called "colorism"; education/work inequity with Black men (more women achieving than men); domestic violence, etc. And the SEX section is HOT!!! (Sex isn't only for your man, it's also for YOU to enjoy, etc. How to enjoy, but also to watch for the STDs and hi-risk guys ("down-low"), etc. hypertension, weight issues, DM, fibromyalgia, eye diseases, etc. Head to toe info.

I might post the quote in a original post because it's so strong a message for everybody.

Enjoy your success; enjoy your man. Later for those haters.