Men, gotta love em .........

For the most part I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I have been with him for over 23 years and married 18 years. He is generally good to me, supported my choice to get banded, we don't fight, and I am still very much in love with him. In general, I think we are living as close to "happily ever after" as we can get.

BUT .............. I have lost 44 pounds and he has not said a word or made any indication that he sees any difference. He has not asked how much I've lost...... nothing

I'm not really pissed about it, though it does bother me a little. Maybe he doesn't know what to say? Who knows ......

I am going to wait it out and see just how many pounds it takes before he says something.

I think my fiancee didn't really start actively commenting on the difference in me until around 65 pounds lost or so. But often I have to ask him about it - he won't always actively compliment me.

I think its not because hes trying to be cold or that he doesn't notice, but I think its because he doesn't want to put more pressure on me. I put a lot of pressure on myself to lose XX amount of pounds by XX date and he doesn't want to add to that pressure. Maybe that is the case with your hubby, also?

I lost the majority of my weight before I met my fiance. I have lost about 30 lbs since meeting him...he didn't say anything until one morning I asked him how come he would "move my butt around" during the night...he said "because your bones are poking me...if you loose anymore I will need pads!" That was enough for me :thumbup:

Hi Humming Bird,

I have lost 70+ lbs. with "no" compliment from my husband. To be honest, I think it's petty on their part.

I agree that if you have to ask for a compliment, it's just not the same.

I think there are some underlying issues whey they are behaving like that, but life is too short to worry about it.

He's a good person, I guess I just have to let some things go. When I'm ready, I'll ask him why.

Could be he has been there before. 6 yrs ago My DH waited til I dropped 100# till he commented. I gained it back and more, then had the band. Lost 100# again, no comment yet.

Men, gotta love em .........

For the most part I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I have been with him for over 23 years and married 18 years. He is generally good to me, supported my choice to get banded, we don't fight, and I am still very much in love with him. In general, I think we are living as close to "happily ever after" as we can get.

BUT .............. I have lost 44 pounds and he has not said a word or made any indication that he sees any difference. He has not asked how much I've lost...... nothing

I'm not really pissed about it, though it does bother me a little. Maybe he doesn't know what to say? Who knows ......

I am going to wait it out and see just how many pounds it takes before he says something.

My husband ( we have been married for 33 yrs and like your hubby a real sweetie in many ways )did a similiar thing when I lost a lot of weight with Reductil. He never said a word in fact when a friend of his commented he said "Has she? I dont know" When I asked him about it he said that he knew that it was a sensitive subject and if he commented he didnt know how I would take it especially then if I gained so he felt it was best to say nothing. I actually havent told him about the weight loss surgery this time and uou know he has said nothing...not about the liquid meals, the pbs nothing. Go figure

Wow Meikobobo, how in the world did you get by not telling your husband about the surgery? Was he out of town or something?

Hi Humming Bird

No I told it was gall bladder he even visited me in hospital he just didnt ask anyone there anything and as I was in overnight only he didnt question my story...so there you go...men....is it any wonder they dont notice weight Loss!

Edited November 23, 200916 yr by meikobobo
missed a point

men, gotta love em .........

For the most part i have the most wonderful husband in the world. I have been with him for over 23 years and married 18 years. He is generally good to me, supported my choice to get banded, we don't fight, and i am still very much in love with him. In general, i think we are living as close to "happily ever after" as we can get.

But .............. I have lost 44 pounds and he has not said a word or made any indication that he sees any difference. He has not asked how much i've lost...... Nothing

i'm not really pissed about it, though it does bother me a little. Maybe he doesn't know what to say? Who knows ......

I am going to wait it out and see just how many pounds it takes before he says something.

i have that same problem with my husband, but that's o.k. I did this for me and no one else. Furthermore, if he never tells you someone else will. Keep up the good work!!!!!

Some men feel very threatened by a sudden loss of weight. they see you physically changing and have a fear that you will change in other ways as well. They are not sure they are ready for that. they are afraid you will be appealing to other men and will leave them in the dust with your new life. It's intimidating, and causes them to be anxious. If they don't mention it, then it's not really happening. then of course you have the other kind that just chase you around the bedroom!! LOL

Update ! 91 pounds! It took 91 pounds before my husband (together 24 years in June) said something! All these months we have talked about things like what I can or can't eat and stuff like that, but not one word from him about how I look or my size ...... nothing about noticing the weightloss.

Last night he said, "Are you going to dwindle away to nothing? One of these nights I'm going to roll over and put my arm around you and Poof! you'll be gone." Awww, aren't those just the sweetest words you've ever heard.....lol.

I said, "I wasn't sure you really noticed because you never say anything." He said, "Oh, I notice."

My husband notices practically nothing, or, at least like yours, will notice but not say anything. Dunno why! But I sure do love him.

Congratulations on both the husband saying something (that's a long time to wait) and the 91 pounds!!!

Edited May 22, 201016 yr by AnneGG

Update ! 91 pounds! It took 91 pounds before my husband (together 24 years in June) said something! All these months we have talked about things like what I can or can't eat and stuff like that, but not one word from him about how I look or my size ...... nothing about noticing the weightloss.

Last night he said, "Are you going to dwindle away to nothing? One of these nights I'm going to roll over and put my arm around you and Poof! you'll be gone." Awww, aren't those just the sweetest words you've ever heard.....lol.

I said, "I wasn't sure you really noticed because you never say anything." He said, "Oh, I notice."

That is awesome! I think maybe he was enjoying the fruits of you labor without much chatter :thumbup:

Honey,

He loves you no matter what you weigh :biggrin:

My hubby says things but only because he knows I am fishing for compliments. However, with that being said he is also sad I have lost weight because now I have no boobs or butt- his words

Well I'm glad that I had the surgery for me and not for my husband becasue he seems totally oblivious to everything. my mother-in-law was banded 9 months ago and when I mentioned how well she was doing, my husband said that he didn't really notice a difference. I'm like "Are you Crazy!!!" She has lost like 70lbs! She looks like a totally different person to me. She looks like she did in pictures when Hubby was growing up, so mybe the problem is the my poor Husband never noticed that she got fat in the first place!?

Maybe it's a man thing because to be honest; I don't notice my own weight loss and I have dropped over 1/3 of my body weight.

He's not looking for a new, thinner you. He loves you no matter what.

Or

DH: "Wow, you lost a lot of weight, you look great."

DW: "Are you saying I was fat and ugly before?"