Men, gotta love em .........

For the most part I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I have been with him for over 23 years and married 18 years. He is generally good to me, supported my choice to get banded, we don't fight, and I am still very much in love with him. In general, I think we are living as close to "happily ever after" as we can get.

BUT .............. I have lost 44 pounds and he has not said a word or made any indication that he sees any difference. He has not asked how much I've lost...... nothing

I'm not really pissed about it, though it does bother me a little. Maybe he doesn't know what to say? Who knows ......

I am going to wait it out and see just how many pounds it takes before he says something.

lol. My poor husband is working hard to figure out what i am comfortable with and what I am not.

This comes under the "grace" clause with me. I grant it because I know that I need it, too. I am sure that I don't tell him the things that would make him feel better about himself, either.

DH: "Wow, you lost a lot of weight, you look great."

DW: "Are you saying I was fat and ugly before?"

That is exactly what I was thinking as I read this thread. All these poor guys walking around with invisible bear traps all around them. LOL!

yea, maybe I have the poor guy trained too well.

Ok I know Im young, and Ive only been married 4 years, but a friend of mine gave me some advice of hers that I have always liked. Her husband can be very forgetful and often doesn't notice the haircut or new outfit or weight loss etc. and even forgets an important date here and there. She basically told me that she has come to know that he is that way and what to expect, and she also knows that he does genuinely care, he's just not thinking about it sometimes. So instead of sitting back and waiting and setting herself up for disappointment, she just asks, "what do you think of my hair?" or "Im so excited about our anniversary next week!" Anything to just remind him and then he responds appropriately lol Its not quite the same as the times when he notices without the prompting, but a little prompting is still better than sitting back and being totally disappointed, IMO anyways.

I liked her advice so I do the same now :-) On the occasions when he doesnt notice my haircut, I just ask and he tells me he likes it and ill take that. its better than sitting there dwelling on how he didnt notice.

smart cookie!! If you want or need something, you have to let people know...more than once!