I was just wondering if there were people in a similar boat to me. My better half likes me "thick," for lack of a better term. I just got banded about 10 days ago. We've been together for over 8 years and I would like to think that we are both secure enough in our relationship not to have to worry about it. However, everyone has a "type," and when we met I was definitely overweight.

Is anyone else going through this? Has anyone had relationship difficulties because their partner likes them big and they are losing weight? Just curious. I know it seems like a taboo thing to discuss, but it's been on my mind.

Your significant other loves you for you not your body type. When my hubby got banded 2 years before me I was worried he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore since I was fat and he was skinnier but nope he loves me for me.

I've been overweight since meeting my significant other but have gained an unhealthy 70-80 pounds since living with him over the last 4 years. While he obviously loves me for me (he came to me in the first place), he also realizes that me losing weight will hugely benefit our relationship in that we can finally do more camping/hiking/day outings without me complaining about a sore back or sore feet. He doesn't mind me overweight, he just prefers me to be healthy and active.

My husband definitely likes a big girl. I don't think he has ever dated or married anyone under about 250. We have been together for 5 years and this has been a major emotional concern for me. My logical brain tells me it is stupid and that he loves me for me and not my body type. But. . .Then the emotional, irrational, self conscious side takes over and tells me all the reasons why he won't love me, want me, etc. anymore. My husband has never said one word to me about being too heavy, or not heavy enough, all of it is in my head - I know this, but it doesn't make it any less of a real problem we have to deal with. He tells me he wants me healthy and happy - He doesn't want to lose his wife. As I lose my weight, I am sure I will mellow out and all will be fine (as it will be for you).

I am kinda glad that I am not the only one dealing with these emotions. I have wanted to bring up this subject, but I am a chicken and I lurk a lot more than I share. I am trying to be better about that.

Good Luck and know that your partner loves the old you and will love the new you, there will be adjustments along the journey, but grow together and all will be fine.

Hi Tiffany,

Glad to hear I'm not the only one..lol. I figured there had to be other people who were in similar situations. Although I couldn't help but wonder.

Thanks so much for your post.

My DH met and married me when I was heavy. I subsequently gained 60 pounds, but he never wavered in his feelings for me. He loved me being "fluffy" (I think because two certain "assets" were quite large), but he did not like the fact that I was very unhealthy. He was not supportive of my decision to have LB surgery, but since I've lost 50 pounds and am much healthier now, he's on board. He's not too thrilled that I have lost much of that weight up top, but the increase in energy has had a great impact on our relationship across the board.

So, while he likely preferred me on the fluffy side, he's very much on board now with my weight loss efforts and is encouraging me every step of the way. My health is the key, not my figure.

I am going to agree with the people who posted before me. We are getting married in June and I was very concerned that he would change his mind. He definitly likes fluffy girls. He has been very supportive and we had several conversations before my surgery that were for my benefit. He loves the person I am inside and wants me to be healthy. I have lost 68 lbs since April and he still loves me and is still attracted to me. Good luck - I know it is not an easy thing and there are still times that I wonder, but I have to have faith in our love.

I'm in the same boat, my DH loves um large. But thankfully his love for me is larger! At first I thought, well maybe he'll leave and then it dawned on me. Only my body is changing not my personality, so if he leaves then it was meant to be.

He stayed and we are very happy!

Man, oh Man...this is the conversation for me!

My honey doesn't even know I got banded last week and I don't plan on telling him until I absolutely have to. When we got together I was around 220 or so...well 4 years later I get pregnant with our now 9 month old daughter and I'm at 288. This is the heaviest I've ever been and I AM NOT FEELING IT AT ALL!! However, daddy loves all my junk:tt1:

I think once he can see how much more happier I am and the stunts I can pull when I'm thinner he won't even care. Now I have to admit, I like myself thick as well-my frame ir curvy and is meant to carry some extra weight, just not this much. I'm looking to get down to about 180 or so.

Oh, Man! Yes my husband loves women with "meat on thier bones" and he didn't want me to have this done. he wants me to just be happy like I am. So When I told him that I would be happier if I were thinner. he started researching and reading right along with me. he has come to consultations with me and is now on board whole heartedly. He is also overweight but not enough to warrant him having surgery too. he has NEVER been Fat like me. where I have been all my life. He wants me happy and healthy and more active/less sedantary. My mother passed away 5 years ago due to complications from morbid obesity and, as much as I loved her, I do not want to end up like her. So in 28 days I will start my journey to health! As nervous as I am about the change I am ready.

My hubby always says he likes a girl with a big ass and big boobs. Luckily for him, I fit those requirements. We met when I was 225. After a year of dating, marriage and a baby, I ballooned up to 298. Currently, I'm at 232. Size 16 or 24, he has loved me for me. I recently found out his concern isn't that when I get thinner that he won't be attracted to me. His concern is that when I get thinner I'll start looking elsewhere! Which makes sense-he was the King of Sabotage-whenever I was on a diet, he'd bring me candy, chocolate, suggest going out to dinner, etc. But I have realized this is his own insecurity, not that he has a problem with me or my size. He has been so supportive though with my decision to have the Lap-Band, and I am confident that with enough gentle reminders that I'm not going anywhere he will stay on board with me through this process. At least, as long as I don't lose my ass....lol!:thumbup:

I weighed 220 when I met my husband and over the last 20 years, ballooned up to 330 and then back down to 260 where I've been for the last 6 or 7 years.

My husband was only concerned about my weight because it was affecting my health. He never said my extra weight made me any less attractive, but on the down side, he'll probably never tell me that I'm more attractive as I lose the weight. He just doesn't see it.

Based on comments he's made, however, I know he likes a woman to look like a woman and not a female version of Arnold Schwarzenneger or the skele-women of the fashion runways.

I think all our men need to start a support group called former chubby chasers united. I think anyone that goes into this kind of commitment when they are in a relationship feels like maybe the other person will not feel the same about them after they lose the weight. They probably all think us former chubbies are going to go looking elsewhere for someone else. I think they have the logic a new body needs new attention or something. We can chalk it all up to insecurity on both ends, but we shouldn't hate on ourselves its in human nature to have those feelings. Our men will love us whether we have more cushion or not. I think I should be more worried about my 3 year old who told me "I like you squishy" the other day. lol.

My hubby likes them thick. When we met many years ago I was 190ish lbs and after marriage and 3 kids i was 315 at my heaviest. Now this man must be a saint he has never commented on my weight. I dieted and got myself down to 267 and decided i needed help and looked into wls. I was banded a month ago starting weight was 243 and im down to 225. I must tell you he wasnt trilled when i told him i was contemplating wls.It took him a while to come around. So the other day, He told me he was watching the show Cheaters and that he saw a guy who cheated on his wife because she had lost too much weight. I was like really so does that mean that you are going to cheat if i get too thin. He started laughing and said well if you get too skiny i just might have too. He was joking of course but you never know lol!!

I was just wondering if there were people in a similar boat to me. My better half likes me "thick," for lack of a better term. I just got banded about 10 days ago. We've been together for over 8 years and I would like to think that we are both secure enough in our relationship not to have to worry about it. However, everyone has a "type," and when we met I was definitely overweight.

Is anyone else going through this? Has anyone had relationship difficulties because their partner likes them big and they are losing weight? Just curious. I know it seems like a taboo thing to discuss, but it's been on my mind.

Boy can I relate to you LOL:blink: My husband says that he likes the "Cushion for the pushin". He said he doesn't want me to get below 200. I said he wishes. I want to get to 150. He is still being supportive,but he lets me know for sure that he likes the way I am and if I don't lose any more weight (I have lost 41 lbs) it is okay. What do you think?

Man, oh Man...this is the conversation for me!

My honey doesn't even know I got banded last week and I don't plan on telling him until I absolutely have to. When we got together I was around 220 or so...well 4 years later I get pregnant with our now 9 month old daughter and I'm at 288. This is the heaviest I've ever been and I AM NOT FEELING IT AT ALL!! However, daddy loves all my junk:tt1:

I think once he can see how much more happier I am and the stunts I can pull when I'm thinner he won't even care. Now I have to admit, I like myself thick as well-my frame ir curvy and is meant to carry some extra weight, just not this much. I'm looking to get down to about 180 or so.

Okay I have to ask... How did you get banded without your honey knowing? I cannot figure this one out???LOL:w00t: