My dad's friend just called me. My dad fell down again and is in the ER in Arizona.

I had a really bad feeling when I was down there that he isn't going to make it much longer. He just turned 90 April 1st and he smokes like a chimney , he is skin and bones and he can hardly walk. I may have to go back to Arizona really soon but I can't see me being out of contact, out of the country in a month with his health being so bad.

I hope all is well with your Dad. Maybe he needs to be in a better supervised environment? Two falls in a short period of time seems excessive.

Honestly, it's a big mess. He signed himself out of assisted living after I found him a wonderful place and sold all his stuff. He moved himself into an apartment. There is no easy answer. He hates Oregon where I live, and my brother is in Chicago and is of no help. I don't know what to do.

It sounds like your Dad is capable of making his own decisions so he's aware of the consequences. If he's fallen twice and continues to make his own decisions, you can't do anything.

I would not put my life on hold waiting to see when the next shoe will fall. If something happens and you're unable to run to his side, your brother, kids, etc. will have to handle things until you are able to tend to them.

When I had my surgery, the man who had it the same day that I was there was permitted to leave a day early but it's only 3 nights in the hospital. For me, the recovery from the revision was a lot easier than the banding.

Happy Easter/Passover.

Daisy, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Such a dilemma. There are no easy answers, just try to take it a day at a time. I will send positive thoughts your way for your Dad and you to have a speedy recovery.

Mimi

Daisy, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. But, I think Elisabeth has given you some very good advice. Perhaps you can just tell your brother you have some personal things to take care of that cannot be delayed and that if anything happens during that time with your dad, it is his turn to step up to the plate for a change, even if he does live in Chicago.

Edited April 12, 200917 yr by Oregondaisy

I talked to the hospital this morning and they are probably going to put him in a nursing home where he can get physical therapy. If they do that, I may just run off and get my surgery as soon as my money gets here, which will be next week. At least I would know he's in a safe place being taken care of, while I was there.

My dad's friend just called me. My dad fell down again and is in the ER in Arizona.

I had a really bad feeling when I was down there that he isn't going to make it much longer. He just turned 90 April 1st and he smokes like a chimney , he is skin and bones and he can hardly walk. I may have to go back to Arizona really soon but I can't see me being out of contact, out of the country in a month with his health being so bad.

Why would you be out of contact with him? You are so close to the US that your cell phone will pick up the US towers. You are literally closer to him in Mexicali than you are in OR.

I think a SNF is exactly what he needs. He needs the supervision and rehab. You need the peace.

You can't put your life on hold because something might happen to someone. You can't go on as you are with the band, get the surgery.

If they do that, I may just run off and get my surgery as soon as my money gets here, which will be next week. At least I would know he's in a safe place being taken care of, while I was there.

That sounds like a good idea.

Why would you be out of contact with him? You are so close to the US that your cell phone will pick up the US towers. You are literally closer to him in Mexicali than you are in OR.

When I said out of contact, I mainly meant I could not just fly there as fast as possible if something even worse went wrong. I would be in the hospital.

The social worker was supposed to call me today but nobody called. Maybe they don't have a social worker on duty when it's Easter? I am not sure. I am really thinking that as soon as my money gets here, I am going to call

Dr. Aceves and move up my surgery so I can be done with it while they decide what the next step is for him.

They can't seem to diagnose why he is so much pain in his back.

When I said out of contact, I mainly meant I could not just fly there as fast as possible if something even worse went wrong. I would be in the hospital.

The social worker was supposed to call me today but nobody called. Maybe they don't have a social worker on duty when it's Easter? I am not sure. I am really thinking that as soon as my money gets here, I am going to call

Dr. Aceves and move up my surgery so I can be done with it while they decide what the next step is for him.

They can't seem to diagnose why he is so much pain in his back.

Well, if something bad were to happen I'm here. I can take care of it until you get here. I'd kinda like to be in the loop on which SNF they place him in anyway. I've met your Dad, I like him. I don't want to see him go to a bad facility.

Good luck with your decisions! I wish you the best!

I'd kinda like to be in the loop on which SNF they place him in anyway. I've met your Dad, I like him.

Right now they are talking about this place both my parents went to at one time or another after getting out of the hospital. It's call Mia Casa.

I don't know the rules and regs of Medicare. I think medicare will only pay for 30 days? Right now they can't seem to find out why he is in so much pain in his back.

I am thinking of an adult foster care situation perhaps

if his insurance won't let him stay in Mia Casa for very long.

I know you hate Acsess(sp?) But that is what he is on.

Maybe I could call you this evening and find out what questions I need to be asking the hospital and social worker if I ever get in touch with one. The last nurse I talked to said a social worker would be contacting me.

It's only 3 weeks until my surgery, so maybe if he's in

Mia Casa for a month, I won't need to change my surgery date. I am really confused.

Right now they are talking about this place both my parents went to at one time or another after getting out of the hospital. It's call Mia Casa.

I don't know the rules and regs of Medicare. I think medicare will only pay for 30 days? Right now they can't seem to find out why he is in so much pain in his back.

I am thinking of an adult foster care situation perhaps

if his insurance won't let him stay in Mia Casa for very long.

I know you hate Acsess(sp?) But that is what he is on.

Maybe I could call you this evening and find out what questions I need to be asking the hospital and social worker if I ever get in touch with one. The last nurse I talked to said a social worker would be contacting me.

It's only 3 weeks until my surgery, so maybe if he's in

Mia Casa for a month, I won't need to change my surgery date. I am really confused.

I've been thinking about this... if your Dad is going to a SNF for a month, wouldn't it make more sense for you to have your surgery early so that you are not in recovery mode while he is being moved in a month? What if you have to come here for something, wouldn't it make more sense to have your surgery while he is being taken care of for this month and by the time he is discharged from the SNF you'll be healed.

Mia Casa... I don't know anything about that place. Do you know which city it is in? I called a friend of mine who also used to be in the care home business and she doesn't know anything about it either.

I have a friend that is in the upper management of several SNFs and I have a call into him to see if he has beds available. I do not know if he takes AHCCCS or not. But at least I totally trust him to tell me of the good facilities. He's one of the few that does things the right way.

Well, my dad was diagnosed finally today with a fractured pelvis.

I am now trying to figure out how to get to San Diego and then from San Diego to Phoenix. The airlines I had booked my flight for my original surgery date does not fly from San Diego to Phoenix.

Well, my dad was diagnosed finally today with a fractured pelvis.

I am now trying to figure out how to get to San Diego and then from San Diego to Phoenix. The airlines I had booked my flight for my original surgery date does not fly from San Diego to Phoenix.

We'll figure out something.

I got your message, I was on the other phone. Sorry.