I initally had great loss, I was going like gang busters. I lost 35 pounds by almost the 3 month. Yes, 10 or 15 pounds were water weight because I had a sever edema problem. Yes no more edema was one of my first NSVS. But whee! the weight was coming off! Then my weight loss stopped. I gained about 5 pounds before my first fill.

After my first fill last month I lost 1 pound. This month I lost 1 pound. 2 months, 2 pounds. At the support meeting this week, I had my official weigh-in. 1 pound down since last month. I was so angry and pissed off and discouraged, words fail to express my disapointment. I have attempted to be the model bandster.

I feel like I had good restriction, and my food has been ... small. My calories have been in the zone. But no loss. 2 months and 2 pounds. So angry. So many tears.

Yes, I have had so many NSV I've thought about starting a thread dedicated to all my NSV. Yes, this weekend I actually bought a LARGE jacket, not a XXL jacket. But this NSV was completely obliteraged by my non-loss. Stupid scale. Failure me.

5 months ago They were considering putting me on oxygen therapy. Again. Today I don't even cary a puffer with me, and I run for the bus without a second thought. Okay, my second thought is "I wonder what these people think of big fat me running," and my thrid thought is "don't get in my way!" I chased my sweet 6' tall baby through a parking lot this weekend, him trying his best to not get caught, me doing my dardest to catch him. We ran around for about 2 minutes. Yeah, not long, but I was running to catch him. Not even out of breath, except for maybe the laughter.

But the scale hasn't moved in 2 months and I feel like a failure.

I was so angry I actually had a temper tantrum. I was so upset I almost quit everything related to the band. I was so upset to the point that I almost came here a deleted every one of my posts. All of them. I felt like a lier, like what could I possibly have to contribute because I am not loosing.

But I waited. I know better to act in the heat of my anger.

Of course, my wonderful Spudboy and DH have tried to put things into perspective for me. They have noticed my size change. They have noticed my increased energy and my increased spirits. They keep pointing out that I've been really sick for so long, and that my body is probably rebuiling the muscle that I've lost.

This summer, I have had on going health issues that are not related to the band. I've had on going GYN issues, including a ruptured overian cyst. Talk about painful! I never passed out from the pain from tthat, but man I was close. I went through almost an entire bottle of phenegren in two weeks because of the pain induced nausia. Anyway, I spent 2 months on various drugs that normally cause weight gain, but I maintained. I suppose that is an NSV, but again, the NSV is obliterated by the scale.

I know the scale lies. I've known that it lies for at least decade, but yet I still listen to what it says. I am so very discouraged. I have a fill appointment schedule so I have a fill before I go off to Idaho. The next opportunity I have for a fill will be November.

Why can't I take my own advice? Why can't I be kind to myself? Stupid scale.

I've only had a couple in my life but the best one was where I threw glasses on a roof and let them fall back and hit concrete. The noise/splattering was awesome. Don't do it anywhere you have to clean up

Vinesqueen.....Repeat after me, I don't need no stinking scale to tell me I'm doing great! You are too you know. Look at all the NSVs you included, man oh man, those count more than what the scale reads to me any time. I try to only weigh when I go for my fills or else I have to go see the doctor for something and they make me weigh. I decided when I started this journey I wasn't going to be a slave to my scale cause I would feel exactly like you are right now and we just can't do that to ourselves! Hang in there kiddo, I mean my goodness, you bought a size L and how long has it been since you could do that? You've been so supportive to me and for that I thank you! Now come on, forget about those scales and congratulate yourself on how well you're doing!

but I'm all about getting damn mad. Maybe it would kick in your metabolism? QUOTE]

Oh, I'm pretty sure it DOESN'T. But I'll put that on my list of things to change when I remake the world.

Vines...despite known physiology bodies can be TRICKY. I think when the fat gets scared it tries to trick us so we'll quit taxing it. If you don't give up, eventually it will have to.

When I was doing this Opti-fast type program there was a group of us all signed up together for the first intense 3 months. For those 90 days the calorie count was between 8-1,000 for women and everyone had to exercise a minimum of 2,500 calories per week. There was a husband and wife who signed up together and during the 2nd month he was losing like gangbusters (as most of us were) and she just STOPPED.

Everyone would come in an post a 3, 4, 5 or even 7 pound loss on the board and her column would be ZERO. The husband was talking to me during a break and he told me he thought she was fibbing and was eating on the side. After he walked away I remember she came up to me and said, "He doesn't think I'm keeping to the program, does he? I AM! I REALLY AM!" She was so distraught and I felt so bad for her. She went 3 weeks with ZERO weightloss and on the 4th week--NINE pounds!!!

Boy did her husband have to eat crow. (Thought myself, I'd get thin and divorce the guy if I were her.)

Anyway, it CAN happen. I've never seen anyone lose like that before or since, but it CAN happen. And if she would have given up and eaten that 9 pound loss would never have shown up.

So Vines, do whatever you have to to stay sane. But don't even think of coming here and deleting all your posts because your triumphs--and failures--are not cheap and we aren't going to forget you so easily!

I am sure you already know this but muscle weighs more that fat.......so it sounds like you have built muscle and lost fat. "toned" yourself if you will the NSV speak louder than the damned scale ....but for your next tantrum try going to the goodwill and buy a few ( or a lot) of cheap plates/bowls then find a brick wall ....make sure you take a broom and dust pan though....clean up is exercise too..... also bowling .. i used to go to the bowling alley and pay for a game or two and throw balls as fast and hard as i could ...boy did i feel better...

Screw the scales NSV ROCK!!

Wow, I needed this post as much as you Vines, I've only lost 25# since my surgery in May, but I'm down from a size 20 to a size 16, but for some reason I can't get past the idea that the damn scale should be moving. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing, muscle weights more than fat!!! So, maybe we should make a pack to stay off the scale?? I'm a scale junky!!! What shall we do????

Oh Silly Sweet Vinesqueen,

Of COURSE the scale isn't moving ... look at all that muscle-building EXERCISE you're doing! My goodness, kicking buildings, pounding dashboards, stomping around, chasing 6-foot tall men, and racing for buses! And all without getting huffy-puffy out of breath! You're at the "trade in" stage == trading in a pound of fat for a pound of muscle. Nice deal if you can get it (grin)! Chin up, dear -- you can look forward to a future of being thin AND able to beat up anybody who gets in your way!

Vines, I didn't have the big weight loss in the begining and have lost 1 pound a week or less so I know how hard it is. I am not getting on the scales only once a week and then I only compare that to what I started with on the first day of the month.That seems to help a little but even then my body seems to pick up a lot of liquid if I eat anything salty. We should get outside in the sunshine and walk a little more too.

I'm kinda new, but I know I look forward to reading everything you have to say...witty, caring, spunky...well, you said it yourself: a sensation! I know it's frustrating, but we have given the scales too much power. Way too much. You're in charge here, sister! The scale is a tool, but it does not see. Compact muscle vs. soft fat. Better breathing vs. inhalers. Smaller clothes sizes. It cannot see these things. But YOU KNOW. Trust yourself and what you know. Scales are non-thinking and do one thing: weigh things. They do not have god-like qualities, you know?

Hang in there and stick with us. We need you! Blessings, Cindy

Vines - You have a God given gift for telling it like it is and helping everyone else here out with whatever their problem may be. I hope you feel better now.

P.S. Jack - you crack me up!!!

Thank all of you. Thank you for your kind words, so heartfelt and sweet. Each post a balm for my wounded self.

I really was going to delete all most posts because I felt like a complete fraud. I felt like I was lieing to all of you because I am obviously not having any success, based on what the scale said. I felt terrible because well, the scale haddn't moved, but I felt terrible for all of you as well. How could any thing I have to say have any bearing on anything? Lies, damn lies, and what the scale says. (sorry Mr. Clemens)

I don't have a goal weight in mind, I never have. My goal has been a size--size 12 or 14. Nothing crazy. I know the scale lies. I know this, I know this, I know this. And yet, I let it completely destroy all my self confidence after a weekend of an awsome NSVs. I let that damn scale ruin practically my entire week. I give it way too much power, power it doesn't deserve because it lies, and lies gleefully. Lies with malice.

One of the things that popped into my twisted brain yesterday was this saying : It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others. http://despair.com/index.html I know that we have some members who have had awesome and phenominal loss. I am in awe of how much Jamin' and Loosin & Trama nurse have lost. They are my band sisters and their successes are so mind boggling. My heart absolutely seeks to soar with them. But we also have slow loosers who also need to be celibrated.

Yesterday I went through my journal and all my posts to collect in one place all my NSVs. What an eye opener that has been. I still feel miserable, but miserable is not completely discouraged.

Oh, and my best temper tantrum? I put my fist through a metal storage locker after being targeted by a new boss and fired without cause. The waitress I worked with lied and the boss was threatened by my mad short order cook skillz...

Ditto's to what everone has said. I try to remember that it took me years to gain, so its going to take time to lose it. Every day going forward your going to be better and healthier and stronger than you were a year ago ((Day by Day)).

Oh and by the way, you ARE the model lapbander

Eileen

VQ, I just want to send you some cyberhugs. You're an amazing lady and we're supremely lucky to have you with us.

I really was going to delete all most posts because I felt like a complete fraud. I felt like I was lieing to all of you because I am obviously not having any success, based on what the scale said. I felt terrible because well, the scale haddn't moved, but I felt terrible for all of you as well.

Here's the thing I need to tell you.....I need to say this and I wish I could look you square in the eye as I say it. For me personally, you have been an INCREDIBLE help getting me through this crazy process of being banded, of suffering my demons, of failing and you picked me up and dusted off the seat of my pants and sent me on my way again. I've looked to your posts as a place for humor, for help and a general sense of "this thing is gonna be alright".

I don't care if you never lose a single pound. I don't care if you gain and gain and gain. I don't care. You are not a fraud because you, personally, have brought me peace and given me information and just generally "been there".

You are amazing. Beautiful. Perfect in your skin exactly as you are RIGHT NOW. You are perfection and no one can mess with perfection. Deleting all your posts does a disservice to all those who've yet to come along behind me and need your voice of reason and sanity.

You are no fraud and definitely not a liar. You are a truth teller and I admire you incredibly for that.

The scales are just a tool to tell skinny people they are fat!!! When I slow way down on weight, I am usually dropping inches. I will notice my clothes before the pounds.

Smile, we have all made the biggest step of all.You will get there, I guess we are all impatient.

HI Girlfriend-

You are a winner! Plain & simple.

I want you to think about one thing. Athletes.

Yep Athletes.

Do you think they jump on the scale every week?

Or are concerned about their weight?

NO They are not!!!

Here is what they are always aware of:

1) How fast or far was I able to run today?

2) How & what did I put in my mouth today?

3) Did I get in my Protein today?

4) How long was my workout today?

5) Did I get all my Water in today?

6) How can I be faster/stonger & more healthy tomorrow?

You are a Athelete Crystal & so are we all.

Throw the damn scale away.

Take your body measurements & chart them and your diet & activity only- not your weight from today forward.

My advice is find your inner Athelete & let her take control.

She knows what is important & how to prevail.

You can beat this pleatue & so can I !

See you in Vegas-roomie;0)