My dh is not supporting my decision to b banded. He's worried that something might go wrong during surgery and I think he thinks it's (surgery) not going to work. He thinks that I'm looking for a quick fix and just wants me to do it on my own. He is overweight as well. We could both benefit from the surgery.

Have any of you experienced this? Any ideas on how to change his mind? I want his support because we are a team. My husband is my best friend and I value his opinion. TIA!

OMG ( gosh ) you get your band and you show your husband -- it is not easy - but you can do it- the first week I wanted to tear the band out -- ha ha - glad I did not do it -- you get used to not drinking while eating--- takes a few weeks but you will adjust -- the best thing, to me, about the band is that I feel like I will not regain the weight I slowly lose -- you know you lose 10 and feel good and then gain it back - plus a few lbs -

I have to repeat this is not easy but I love it - I still need to get used to not ordering too much food -

I bring a lot home in boxes and either eat it at another time or treat my cat and dog --- my children are not home anymore and my husband usually does not like what I order -- YOU CAN DO IT

My husband was against it, too. I started to talk about it over a year ago. He went on line and read about it. After a few days he said he really wished that I would try again, maybe try hypnosis. Let me add that he is overweight as well. He rarely puts his foot down with my wishes so I respected his opinion and gave it a year. Went to two different hypnotists, nothing. Lost some on my own but we all know that story, gained it back. I brought up the subject again a few months ago and told him that I tried it his way and now I want the band more than ever, he agreed. My surgery is 3/3 with Dr.Kirshenbaum in CO. It's sad but our spouses have as much baggage with our weight as we do, all different kinds. In the end we have to do what is best for us. Stand your ground and good luck!

I just don't understand husbands who don't want us to have the surgery. They want to sit and look at naked girls online or girls in bikinis and lingerie and porn, but they don't want us to lose the weight so they can look at us. It makes no sense to me, especially my husband.

I know this may sound funny - however - have you stopped to think how disappointed you get every time you lose weight - just to gain it back. My husband really hurts everytime I go through this! He hates to see me be so upset when I do gain my weight back - because I get so bummed! I really do not think it is the wls that concerns them it is that we hurt evertime we fail!

My husband is supportive, but he wants to know how we are going to pay for the breast implants if it should happen that my girls go away. I have to admit, I am a little concerned about that part, too.

My husband is supportive, but he wants to know how we are going to pay for the breast implants if it should happen that my girls go away. I have to admit, I am a little concerned about that part, too.

Well, I have lost 40 pounds and I haven't lost an inch from my breasts. Some people lose their's, but I sure haven't!

Well, I have lost 40 pounds and I haven't lost an inch from my breasts. Some people lose their's, but I sure haven't!

My GIRLS have dropped maybe one cup size and I've lost 100. But I don't think that is the core issue.

My husband was supportive but a friend of mine's husband was not. He got all insecure when she started looking better and feeling stronger. the dynamics of their relationhip changed as she got less submissive to him and finding her own self. She went from a person who was a people pleaser to someone with her own opinion. AND she is hot looking.

Best friends want good things for eachother. I think a strong marriage starts first with being best friends.

My husband is supportive, but he wants to know how we are going to pay for the breast implants if it should happen that my girls go away. I have to admit, I am a little concerned about that part, too.

:thumbup: I thought my husband was the only one with that first thought. Nothing about complications, nothing about will power and making right choices for life, nothing about the cost, just what about my boob. I must admit at a 46 GG I am kind of looking forward to losing some. I just want them lifted back up since I won't have a belly to rest them on.

You are cracking me up Avanderhoof! Yeah, my husband wasn't at all concerned about anything else. His cousin was banded, and he saw that everything went well. He said it was fine with him if I was hot again. He was kind of joking about the implants, but I know in the back of his mind, he's worried that I won't be hot if I lose my boobs. I have to say, since it's been just about the only physical feature I was ever super proud of, there is a small worry in the back of my mind, too. It's not enough to deter me, though. I have health issues that MUST be resolved through weight loss and soon.

Subscribing to this thread. I'm in the beginning stages of planning this journey. Just met with the doctor the other day. Hubby does NOT want me to do this. Worried I will not be able to eat certain things for the rest of my life and that I will just gain all of the weight back. I really want to do this, but he is making me confused.

When I first started talking about getting the lap-band back in July, my husband was against it. He said I needed to have more willpower and do it on my own. We went to the seminar together and he lectured me all the way home how I should be more strong and lose weight on my own. By the way my weight is an issue for him, he has never made fun of me or insulted me but in a serious conversation a year and half ago he told me my weight bothered him, because I never wanted to go out with him or to his work functions. I think now he is secretly happy, although he doesn’t say much. When I ask him how he feels he always says if you’re happy I'm happy and that's the end of it he doesn’t say anything else. My complaint is I am on the 2 week liquid diet and he doesn’t try to help me with meals, he doesn’t understand how hard this liquid diet is. I have been preparing all the meals, because he says that's my responsibility. Yes I am a stay at home mom and I do feel like it is my responsibility but right now should be an acception. I hear other people talk about how their husbands are helping them thru this stage and I secretly get a little jealous. I must also say in my hubby's offense my surgery is scheduled for March 6 and my hubby said he is taking the day off to be with me. I told him I didnt want him too that my mom would take care of me, but he insisted. I didnt want him to have to tell his boss why he needed the day off. I also think my mom will be more helpful than he is. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful please don't get me wrong but he is definately not the nurtering type poor thing he tries but doesnt know what to do. I love him though!!!

Edited February 22, 200917 yr by momof4monkeys
mispelling

My partner was totally against it too - scared something would happen to me, but has stepped up and been wonderful, taking care of me (and mom who lives with us while I was on the liquid diet and recovering). Now I am discovering that part of the fear was how her life would change (due to what I could eat), and potentially being "left behind" while I lost weight and she didn't. But it's been inspiring her to eat smaller portions now and be more mindful of what she's eating.

Do what you need for YOU, and he may jump on board, or at least follow along.

Wow. Reading this thread makes me appreciate what a wonderful and supportive husband I have. He was initially apprehensive about me having this surgery, but after doing his own research and speaking to the surgeon, he agreed it was the right thing for me to do.

Well we've talked lots about it and I think he's starting to agree it would be a good thing. I'm trying to get him to do it with me now!