I saw someone else's thread about what excuse to tell coworkers. This post is related, but I'm looking more for reasons why I should or shouldn't tell people. I'm still undecided. I don't even have a date yet, but I'm hoping it'll be early to mid January.

I understand that telling everyone will probably spawn some criticism and a lot of questions, but I really don't want to carry out an extended lie by faking a hernia or anything. I'm also hoping I can make them more sensitive to the plight of the chubbies. I don't want to feed into the stereotype of 'see, if all fat, lazy people just got of their butts, went on a diet and exercised, then they could all lose weight like Janiece!' I want them to know that diet and exercise weren't enough, and that I needed some help. I want them to go on the journey with me and see that the band is not the easy way out. . . I dunno, maybe I'm being to idealistic. But even if I don't change the world's perception of obesity, at least I won't have to hide in my cube during lunch and stress out all the time about someone figuring why I've developed a sudden ocd problem with cutting up my food. PLUS, I won't have to explain if I eat too fast and puke at a lunch meeting!! :cursing:

So. . .any good or bad experience stories with telling coworkers or friends?

Thanks,

If I knew someone struggling with their weight who asked me sincerely how I got it off I would say other wise I think I will keep it quite as well because I work in a shop with just guys and half of them are overweight and don't care about their weight. They would just think I had no will power which I guess is basicly true. :cursing:

I agree with everyone here...to tell or not to tell is a personal choice that only you can decide on. I chose not to tell anyone but my hubby and my aunt. It's been a little hard because I've had parties, get-togethers, Thanksgiving, ect., over the past month and I couldn't eat anything....of course, everyone asks why aren't I eating? So I tell them that I'm on a liquid diet for about a month or so, which is true...I try not to get to into too much detail about it because a small part of me does feel a little dishonest that I'm not divulging the details of my surgery...however, when I do feel like this, I remember WHY I chose not to tell...I, too, do not want to be judged or scrutinized with everthing I put into my moutn....if I happen to loose slowly, I don't want people thinking, "she needed surgery to loose that?"....unfortunately, there are certain times in my life when I do care about what other people think....my weight is one of those things. I've been morbidly obese for about 4 years now and I know that friends & family talk about my weight behind my back, and that hurts. However, since starting this journey I've been keeping a very positive attitude and wanted to keep my spirits up. This is why I chose to keep this surgery to myself, I didn't want anyone or anything to try and bring me down.

Do what's best for you! Good luck with your decision!

As far as telling, really you will know deep down in your heart who you want to tell or not tell. Personally, I don't discuss any of my medical issues with my co-workers or friends.

.

That is the way I feel. I did tell my boss, and he has been great. I also told one coworker, who is very obese and has severe diabetic issues. A different coworker slipped and let me know he knew and all he said was "don't do it" But he is a judgemental bastard and I'm already at peace with my decision. Some people ask why I am going to be off I either tell them I am having a lobotomy, because it will help make working here easier, or tell them I am having a hysterectomy (I'm a guy) that usually gives them the hint that I don't really feel like sharing with them.

I'm considering, not even telling my Mom, but that might be hard because I'll be visiting 8 days after my surgery. My wife had the bypass and my mom made a remark to her that made me want to get in her face and scream.

My wife works at a larger company and she has gotten a wide range of inquiries about how she is losing weight. Some people just won't take no for an answer. This is especially true of people who barely know here. She has lost 95 pounds since May and she is a beautiful woman anyway, so people notice.

As possible words of encouragement, I thought I would share what she sent to me in an email today.

Something I have been noticing more lately and just took for granted before….

I’ve come to the conclusion that people treat me better now that I have lost all this weight.

I get more smiles and hello’s from people I do not know, now that I am at a more reasonable weight.

It’s sad but true

BillOh you crack me up. I did not tell my mom either. The only person that knows is my sister.

The reason I have not told my mom is that she has been trying for two years to qualify for gastric banding. She initially qualified with private insurance. She was approved with private insurance, but then she turned the magical age for Medicare and had to start the whole process all over.

Today, she is now dealing with several medical issues, which must be addressed before she can have surgery. Thus, I don't have the heart to tell her that I was banded. It would be cruel of me to tell her. Life can be so unfair.

I am only telling those at work. I feel really care about me. I told my boss I was having a procedure done only because I had to let him know I was taking off. He ask "is it serious?" and I told him "not really" and he didn't ask anymore than that. It is no one elses business and I don't care to be part of the rumor mill. I will eventually let those who are genuinly interested but there are those I know who will judge and do. My surgery date is in 2 weeks, and I'm even waiting to tell my family to the weekend before the day to let them know. My husband doesn't think their input would be positive and I agree. I don't think keeping it to myself is lying not even lying by omission. It's my business and no one elses.:whatchutalkingabout

I also agree that this is no ones business. At work my managers are trying to pressure me into telling the people in my department but I don't want to. They are all catty 18yo sticks. I don't plan on telling anyone that doesn't already know. But it's true this is a personal choice.

Telling is very personal. I will admit that I regret ever telling anyone other than my husband. My family members that know are acting like the food police. I know that they mean well, but asking me everyday how much weight I have lost and can I have that gets old quickly. I also told one person at work that I thought I could trust, but they let it slip to a busy body. Now the people on my job know. I don't like that. I work with some really rude and obnoxious people that don't really care about me or my well being. They just like to spread other people's business. I think, based on your original post, that you are an out spoken person. If you feel comfortable telling, do that. Don't let any of us deter or sway you away from being who you are. Good luck to you.

I have decided to only tell my Husband, Mom and Dad. I live with my mom and dad right now so that would be impossible not to tell them. There are a couple other people I would like to tell but I don't trust that they won't tell someone else.

I don't think I would like te constant questions about how the whole thing works. I am just a very private person. I like to keep what I do to myself. Perhaps years down the road when I have reached my goal I will tell, but I can make that decision then!

Breanne:smile2:

I told people in stages as I was comfortable with telling them.

When I started my journey, I only intended to tell my husband, but as I got approved and started my pre-op diet, I was very excited and told just a few of my closest co-workers. Weight loss surgery is very common at my organization, so I knew it would be obvious to a lot of people.

The night before surgery, I got nervous that something would happen, so I told 4 of my 5 children, (19, 16, 13, 12). I didn't tell my oldest daughter (26) because she was in the middle of moving and job hunting. My 19 year old actually told my oldest anyway, so all of my kids knew before my surgery.

I still had no intention of telling my parents because I didn't believe my mom would be supportive, but on Thanksgiving, ( 3 weeks post-op for me), it came up during dinner so I told my parents, brother, and his wife.

When I started back to work, people noticed my weight loss, and if someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them the truth. I think it may hold me more personally accountable because I don't want to fail.

It's nice for me to be able to have so many others in my work environment that have gone through the lap-band, and even several who have had a bypass. We are a support group for each other and hold each other accountable.

So, what I'm getting at is the same as others have posted. To tell or not to tell is completely personal, and your thoughts about who to tell may change over the course of your journey. GOOD LUCK!:thumbup:

BillOh

noticed we have the same date.. good luck to you!!!!

I have only told my bosses.

My time off is scheduled on the office calendar for all to see and I'm just waiting for people to start asking because I don't want to tell ANY of them.

This is really horrible, but you would have to know the type of office I work in... if it worked, I wanted to tell them that my weight loss was due to becoming a satan-worshipping lesbian.

:-)

Wow I thought I was the only one who worked with catty judgemental people until I read this post! I agree, it is a very personal decision. I am a very private person and don't like everyone knowing my business so that's why I didn't tell many people.

I had my consult yesterday and the Nurse Practitionar sad that this surgery is very similar to surgery on you gall bladder.She said that if you dont want anyone to know, then tell them ou are having abdominal surgury and if they persist, you could tell them gall bladder if you want. It's really no ones business unles you want it to be....I am not telling anyone because i can just hear the negative remarks now..:wink2:

I plan to say nothing to my coworkers unless they ask me point blank. I don't trust some of them not to make crude comments (behind my back, of course). As a nurse my work schedule changes from week to week and I don't see the same people everyday or eat at the same time each day. Perhaps, after my surgery, I will feel differently.