What has anyone said to you that they meant in the best way possible, but it actually hurt in the long run. An example of what is always told to me is "you are sooo pretty to be your size."

Another thing a skinny girl once told me, not realizing my weight and state of depression, was that she would kill herself if she ever weighed 200lbs, then asked me "wouldn't you?" And I was thinking, I'm still alive you scrawny b****. I can laugh now, but it kept me depressed for years, oh Lord I have some stories of the goofy things people say to me, not realizing my position.

Glou - for your information, that doc is WRONG. My obese father has those little fat deposits. So why do I say doc is wrong? Because of his 2 beloved offspring, does the obese daughter have them? NOPE! His under-to-regular weight son does!!! He had a couple in his forearm that had begun to hurt and were even affecting his finger movement. So tell the doc to BUGGER OFF!!!

I absolutely concur! My father has had them (he IS overweight) but my brother inherited the same thing (not overweight). I don't know if it's genetic, but in our case two family members have them, so...

I can relate to the baby story. I was waiting in a queue while shopping and turned around to 'talk' to an 11 month old in a pram behind me. When I got to the check out, the girl (about 17) said "Oh well you won't have to wait long" when I asked her what she meant, she pointed to my stomach and said "you'll have one of your own soon". I grabbed my tummy and shook it "uh uh, its all fat". She was so embarrassed.

Oh wow, that reminds me of another. Hubby was working in Kuwait back in 2003 for the whole year, and at the six-month mark we met up in Greece for a fantastic holiday. I had lost about 30 pounds (certainly not making me svelt by ANY means, but I felt good), was all tanned, and feeling good. We had just boarded a cruise ship for one leg of our vacation and the hostess who was showing us to our room said, "Are you one or two?" Well, thinking she meant hubby and I, I said, "Two." She then asked when I was due... I was embarassed and mortified. I too said, "No, it's all fat." I wanted to crawl into a hole.

I guess I was "lucky" having worked at a retail store in college where I was told you never ask a woman if she was expecting. She could've just given birth and still have the poochy tummy or in the case of the owner, she could've given birth to a stillborn. So I never ask someone unless I've heard it from a friend or the woman expecting! You can't stick your foot in your mouth if your mouth is shut! :rolleyes2:

The worst for me is my mom. For the past ten years my mom has gone back and forth on her weight. Everytime she loses weight (even when I wasn't that big) she starts going through her clothes and tells me that they are way to big for her so maybe I can get some use out of them. It gets really annoying!!!!!

Next time she tries to dump clothes on you say, "You know, you dress too old for me!!" Or "You know you'll gain the weight back, so just keep them!!!" :rolleyes2:

You know some of those stories are funny as but alot are horrible, I'm thankful that some of my family is pretty supportive, when I was little I'd tell my parents that people were bitching at me cuz I was fat adn tehy'd just say wait til they're older they won't really have a life (funnily enough they don't now) but the thing that gets me is my aunt, she's always been super nice and when I found out that I was officially getting the band only my mum and I knew (as well as the doctors) and we went to my cousins for a bbq and my mum needed someone to talk to even though I asked her not to tell anyone, anyway short story she told my aunt cuz she needed someone to talk to and I was waiting to get my food and she came up behind me and said "your beautiful now, but your going to be even more beautiful" so needless to say me being the softie or whatever that I am, burst out into tears lol, I dunno why but now I look back it was a really sweet thing, and then theirs my grandmother - I have a cousin who is the same age as me but way bigger and she goes on about me, it goes straight over my head because she has heaps of issues that half the family don't know about but it'll be nice to laugh in her face when I get the surgery and she doesn't have that as an excuse anymore

Well, I just went through a similar experience when I went back to Texas for my ps. My aunt who is overweight, said she didn't understand why I was putting myself through all of this, I was always a pretty fat girl, not sloppy or anything and since I am such a good dresser, I looked pretty that way. I just think she's jelouse that I was able to do this for myself. I asked her, (she used to have a really nice body when she was young, I remember her always wearing daisy duke shorts and two piece bikini's when we went swimming when I was a little girl) Don't you wish you had the same good body you had when you were younger??? Don't you wish you could still wear those little short shorts and your two piece bikinis??? She responded that she's old already and the times pass and she had her day. Well, I told her, your only 45 that is not old and I bet you anything that you'd give anything to look and feel the way you used to, that shut her up. I love her and I know she means well, but it still pisses me off. They don't understand why my husband would let me spend money like that, why would he pay so much money for the band and then for all my ps??? Well, probably because he loves me and wants me to feel good about myself, and I'm sure getting there. It has taken a lot, but I think I'll finally be in a skinny bitch.

OMG! I can so identify with this! When I told people what I'm doing, everyone kept saying "...you don't need that... you're a pretty big girl... you carry your weight well...you're not sloppy and you dress well..." As a kid I would always hear "you have such a cute face to be a fat girl..." WTF??? People have always looked at me as this "plus sized diva" because of my confidence and appearance. But just because I take time to actually look nice doesn't mean that is some magical antidote for being fat. Being pretty and stylish doesn't neccessarily cancel out being fat. I'm still going to be beautiful and stylish just not a size 28.

I had a very overweight lady make a return at the store I was working at... I was the one processing the return. She was returning a size 2x shirt and said "It was too small... but YOU'D NEVER UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT..." This was just recently, with me in my slim form. I was mortified, and said "I'd understand more than YOU'D realize..." Funny how the tables sometimes turn in the other direction and we have 'judgment' passed on us for being thin, too. LOL

I was dancing at a family wedding with my cousins..we were having a great time, a little drunk.... and one of them said to me later on...."I think it is great you can still feel sexy...."

I stopped dancing after that.

I was dancing at a family wedding with my cousins..we were having a great time, a little drunk.... and one of them said to me later on...."I think it is great you can still feel sexy...."

I stopped dancing after that.

Um... OW!

Last year, I was having trouble with my band and was sitting in Dr. Ortiz's waiting room and a few well-meaning people asked me if I was there to get a band. I told them the truth, that I had already lost 100 lbs and was there to be unbanded due to complications. I still needed to lose 40 pounds at that point.

This is just my opinion, but my thought would be if they were asking you if you were getting a band, it was because they thought you didn't need one since you say you were 40 pounds from goal at that point.

I was at at BBQ over the weekend and I have recently lost some more weight after being banded over 2 years. One of the guests and a friend that I do not see too often also has a band. She had been very thin and then got a new boyfriend and had some fliud taken out when they were vacationing so she has probably put on 20 pounds but still looks great in my opinion. I am not a skinny minnie I am a size 14. My friend noticied I had lost weight and went on and on about how I am getting too skinny and then told my husband that if I lost any more weight I would not be that attractive. I was just speechless. Was she really talking from the heart or being jealous? It made me very self conscious which I have made great strides on and I just didn't know what to think.

My friend noticied I had lost weight and went on and on about how I am getting too skinny and then told my husband that if I lost any more weight I would not be that attractive. I was just speechless. Was she really talking from the heart or being jealous?

She's JEALOUS!

So I have been doing Krav Maga, since doing it I have lost more inches, so someone at worked asked me if I was on crackhead diet since I lost so much. I told him no, that I was in training to be a cage fighter and he better look out.

I can so relate to most of the things I've read here. My parents are also on me about my weight, but my mom is nice about it at least. My dad is just mean and cruel. He's said things before like "fat b!tch" etc under his breath, but knowing I could hear him. My mom is where I got my food issues...she has them too. I feel like she had me on a diet the day I was born, and YEARS before I was fat. It was like her biggest fear was for me to end up being fat. She wanted me to have bypas surgery years ago. One thing she's done repeatedly though, that really did hurt me, was how she's always trying to play matchmaker for my cousins, my brother, etc but NEVER, not once has tried to fix me up with someone. Not that I even want her to, but the fact that she doesn't even try when she does for everyone else says tons about what her opinion is of me. One of her co-workers wanted to hook me up with one of their regular patients once a few years ago. When her co-worker mentioned it in front of the guy, he asked what I was like. The first thing my mom told him was that I was fat. Nice, huh?

There was this guy I really liked, that I kinda flinged with off and on. It was ALWAYS him calling me to get together, etc, but sometimes he would disappear out of my life for several months or a year. I always left it up to him to make contact, and he to this day keeps coming back. We first met in 2000 and this had gone on for several years. Then in 2006 I was on a date with someone else and we were on our way to a Nickelback concert. This was in March, and at this point I hadn't heard from the first guy since before Christmas. Out of the blue, I get this text message from him while I was on the date. It said "you're a fatty...hit the gym if you want me to come running". Uh, what?! I never expected him to come running! I never even initiated contact with him EVER! I was so got and it totally ruined my whole night. The craziest part though is that he STILL periodically contacts me wanting to get together. I haven't seen him since before that text message, and I decided then that I never would unless I was thin. I can't wait to get thin and "accidentally" bump into him.

I've also always gotten the "pretty face" comments, and once had a guy tell me "you'd be hot as hell if you lost weight!" and thought I should take it as a compliment.

Oh, and one thing I've noticed, having been both fairly slim and as heavy as I am now...guys behave totally different in your presence as a fat person than they do as a thin person. I have a hard time trusting guys because of some of my experiences with them as a fat girl. Experiences that weren't even directly about me, but things they say about other girls in my presence because since I'm fat they apparently don't even consider me to be a girl. Horrid things they say about girls they supposedly even like and care about. Since I'm fat they don't seem to even realize they're saying these things in the presence of another female. Those things always stick with me and so even when I've looked good, I've had a hard time trusting that a guy is genuine.