Hi everyone,

Just thought I'd put my services out there for anyone who may have questions.

I live in the San Francisco bay area and have worked as a Sex Educator for over 6 years! I'd post the company I work through, but my post will get deleted again, lol.

Hit me up if you ever want to chat or send me a private message if there is something you want to ask but aren't comfortable putting it in this kick - ass thread.

Thanks and a big congrats to everyone who has made the decision to become a bandster:thumbup:

I just found this stie and I can't believe I am going to talk about this here. I've been reading this board ever since I got my band but I am kind of shy because I have never talked about my sex life in a public place. But I guess it's okay here since nobody can see my red face!

Does anyone know, (maybe the sex educator?) why it used to be easier for me to have an orgasm? It was never really easy, but I could have them. Now, it's like I am numb or something. Things that used to work for my husband to give me one don't work anymore.

I am afraid of our sex life is going to go away because my husband is starting to have a complex about it.

Does going through the change of life mean that orgams are a thing of the past? My husband says I never needed a vibrator before, and is afraid if we get one, I won't want him anymore or something. We used to be so close, and all of this is really scaring me. I thought losing weight would help with all of this but it's made no difference other than my husbands wants to do it more, and gets upset when I can't orgasm. I really don't want to start to fake them!

Hi Daisy and welcome to the site!!

Hormones can definately affect your sex life. I know that I was hornier then I was in my teens when I hit 30 years old and remained that way for several years. You already know that you can orgasm (which is great!!) so give yourself a break. Stress can really affect our own sexual response cycle, and I can tell how tense this makes both you and your husband by reading your post. If you worry about orgasming during sex then you aren't totally enjoying the experience and it can frustrate the both of you. Not reaching orgasm can quickly lead one to think about their size, if they are attractive, if their partner still thinks they are attractive, etc. It's a pretty vicious cycle to be sure!

One thing to consider is if you are on any new medications. Some medications can make reaching orgasm difficult so you might want to check with your doctor about what meds you are on and what the potential side effects are. You might also want to talk to you hubby about your frustrations sometime when you guys are not in bed. Honest communication is amazing......who knows, he might be feeling bad about himself and doubting himself because maybe he feels you no longer find him attractive. Lastly, take a deep breath and give yourself a break. Let your mind wander and begin to fantasize. One way to spark your mind might be to read a sexy story or some erotica. One site I like a lot is literotica.com. They literally have thousands of stories and I'm sure you can find a couple to get your mind and body racing!

Thank you for telling me about that web site. I think that would help. Years ago, I had a penthouse that had stories in it and it did help. When my kids got older, I threw it away. I was afraid they would find it. I am too embarrassed to go into a store and buy one. I never knew you could read them online!

Breathing is key to orgasms...you have to keep breathing. Concentrate on every little sensation. Also if nothing helps try a topical cream/lotion/lube that heightens sensations. Checking your meds is a good idea too. Medications can affect how your body reacts to stimulation. There is nothing wrong with toys. My hubby and I have all kinds of toys and that doesn't make me want/crave him any less...yeah the toys are great and work well, but I also love my husband and his toy :confused: lol

Brad,

I have the mirena, and my husband didn't notice the strings, but my doctor also cut them fairly short when it was implanted.

He really didn't like the nuva ring when I was on it several years ago, and I didn't give him a choice this time with the mirena, lol.

As far as the eroscillator. Yes, it is expensive, but it comes highly recommended, and it will probably last for several years. I usually end up spending quite a bit on buying luxury sex toys since quality does really count. I think you can also buy the standard eroscillator and not have to purchase every attachment as there are a lot.

Thanks for the tip! DW had the Mirena strings trimmed the other day and WOW... what a difference. Nurse practioner told her to apologize to me for her - she didn't realize she'd left the strings that long.

Brad

aaahhh, the benefits we have here at LBT!

lol...I said good bye to my iud about 2 months ago because of my ovariab cyst that I kept getting. I'm on the pill now and still having trouble with the cysts...I'm tired of it. What are my alternatives? I can't be on any of the hormone birth control methods. My doctor didn't even want to put me one the mini pill that I'm on...I guess my only option is to either have it all removed or tubes tied or just have a baby lmao...I wouldn't mind the baby idea...in a few months lol.

This thread and site is real good and learning soething new all the time.

Chris

aaahhh, the benefits we have here at LBT!

Ahh yes... a well balanced diet of information and entertainment... LOL

lol...I said good bye to my iud about 2 months ago because of my ovariab cyst that I kept getting. I'm on the pill now and still having trouble with the cysts...I'm tired of it. What are my alternatives? I can't be on any of the hormone birth control methods. My doctor didn't even want to put me one the mini pill that I'm on...I guess my only option is to either have it all removed or tubes tied or just have a baby lmao...I wouldn't mind the baby idea...in a few months lol.

Come spend the day at my house - it's all the birth control you'll ever need....

Brad

I am on birth control pills as well and I still have cysts. They say there is nothing else that they can do.

They just keep throwing pain killers at me. I keep telling them; I have a two year old special needs/disabled boy at home. I can't be all doped up and out of it!

I think the cysts can be removed but doctors don't like to remove them for some reason. They keep telling me mine will go away, but it has been years and it has not gone away yet.

I get them often and they get quite big and painful! I want it to stop. They burst every month or so, but that is painful too...I wish there was something that would stop this problem :thumbup:. It sucks lol

I had one bust once and it hurt so bad I thought I was dying.

Yeah...The first time I had a cyst large enough to hurt was about 3 days after my LapBand surgery! I was so scared it was something to do with my band...It's hard to function daily with one that painful.

Do your cysts make you feel like your entire uterus is ripping away from you? I had a pain like that a couple of years ago and it was so bad it bent me over double. I could hardly breathe. I went to the emergency room and they ran every single blood test, gave me an MRI scan and an ultrasound and found absolutely nothing wrong with me.

I then went to my gyno a couple of days later and she also could find nothing wrong with me. She said I had a small cyst but it was so small it hardly showed up at all in the ultrasound so she didn't think that could be it.

I've had that pain a couple of more times since then but they have been extremely brief episodes (less than 5 minutes) whereas the first episode lasted for 2 days. To this day, noone knows what it is or what's causing it because all my tests and scans keep coming back negative.