First let me start out by saying I am very happy, blessed and grateful for my weight loss. I never dreamed I would ever lose this kind of weight.

When I started my weight loss journey the only thing I could think of was I was so horribly over weight that I knew I needed to do something about it. I was overwhelmed by the numbers on the scale and felt that I was doomed to diet and fail the rest of my life. When I learned of the Lap Band and the fact that my insurance covered it I was so excited! I felt there was hope. Loosing weight was my only concern, my only thought.

Here I am, 100 lbs lighter, 100 lbs later. I am sitting here with all kinds of emotions and I am not even sure I understand them all. The obvious new thing in my life is people’s comments and reactions. I have never been a shy person. I am very social and out spoken. Drawing attention to myself had never been an issue, but I find the issue that is getting attention is uncomfortable. I don’t know if it’s because the topic of weight itself has always been a negative subject for me or because when I say I have lost 100 lbs it makes me have to admit( even if only to myself) how very out of control I was and yes, my former weight makes me feel ashamed.

Then there is the fact that I come from a very heavy family and I have very heavy co-workers. I don’t feel like I can really pat myself on the back if that mood ever hit because I don’t want to be insensitive to others around me. I don’t want to be a bragger or hurt someone else’s feelings so I down play the situation, blow it off or just never discuss it.

Wrinkles: I have never been a vain person by any stretch of the imagination. All of a sudden I am dealing with aging AND the effects of weight loss to my skin and Holy Crap it bites! I look in the mirror and am shocked with what I see in such a short period of time, it is disheartening. When I was fatter my face was fuller and the lines and wrinkles filled out nicely, now that I am thinner I am seeing years in the mirror that had been *camouflaged*. To see it so fast makes me sad.

Hair Loss: I am waiting for that to slow down. I have read where people have posted that they would rather be thinning or bald then fat. I guess I understand that but it doesn’t make me feel happy about this change. Yes I know its temporary (I am still praying on that one) but along with the aging skin the thinning hair is depressing. It is just another big change in a short period of time that makes me feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.

Arms: ok I know that sounds funny but my arms have caused so much stress in my life it is ridiculous. I look at my forearms and hands and think “Who’s are these?” They are old and the skin is just awful. My upper arms have just blown me away. I knew I would have loose skin, I was pre-pared for it and I am ok with it (for the most part) my tummy, thighs, breast, I knew I would have flabby skin and I may or may not do something about it BUT I am ok with it. But my upper arms….The one part of my body that I never gave a second thought to because I never had a reason to has come back to be noticed! I am SHOCKED at the flabby nasty swing of my upper arms, it grosses me out, add that to the wrinkles and hair loss.

If you told me in January I would be 100 pounds down within a year my only thought would have been clothes shopping (Yes of course healthier would have been up there). Again I really am happy with my weight loss and have plans on continuing forward. I am not depressed, I just hope as my body adjust to my weight my mind does too. :w00t:

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and opinions and letting me know I am not alone in my "struggles" Thank-you for also relieving the overwhelming guilt I have had at times for not seeming "grateful" for this blessing of weight loss. ( I AM VERY GRATEFUL) :eek:

As crazy as this may sound I have allowed myself to fall into a state of limbo shall we say? I dare not gain a single pound but my motivation to move forward has stalled. That along with the fact that I am almost completely unfilled at the moment due to some health issues I am having (brought on by stress go figure, but that is another thread) has made me a wee bit grumpy. I just need to get a grip and knock off this head trip and keep on keeping on! I mean I already look the way I do so another 50 off won't make it that much worse (right?) Besides how am I ever gonna get that dang arm lift and tummy tuck if I let myself stay over 200? *wink* :w00t:

For all those out there looking to have the Lap Band please, please know it was the best thing I have ever done for myself and have No regrets! For every weird emotion I may be going through there are two on the other side of the equation that counteracts it! :thumbup:

As for supplements and hair loss, Lawdy mercy I am a walking GNC (laughing) I think different things work for different people. My thang might be a weave lol

Thanks ya'll for taking away the feeling of craziness! Sanity is a good thing :eek:

Keep up the good work !

Congratulations on your weight loss!

Wow. This thread was a real eye opener for me. The one thing that I've had to be proud of, when it comes to my physical appearance, is that people have always told me how young I look. They even ask, "what's your secret?". I tell them, drink lots of Water, live a clean life, don't do drugs, don't smoke, etc. It never occured to me to tell them to GET FAT.

I'm not even close to that 100 lb. mark but the first place I started losing was in my face. Before I knew it, I was seeing crow's feet that I never knew I had. But, I will take looking 'well seasoned' over MO anyday! :eek:

This is a great string. I too can relate to the bat wing upper arms and a few new wrinkle (I also got a couple zapped with botox!).

I am down 121 pounds since December 21, 2007 and I love the new me, flabby skin and all. I feel past the remaining fat and skin and I can find ribs and hip bones. I can feel muscle and begin to see the lovely curve of my calf above an actual ankle bone showing. As I uncover this amazing new shape, I wonder at my accomplishment. I am removing the layers I kept to cover my fears and the fat I kept to comfort my loneliness.

I am moving to a new city in January and it in interesting to think that a whole new set of people will never know I was once over 300 pounds. They will never see me as anything other than a normal person with an hourglass figure. It is thrilling to imaging fat not being a part of my life any more and yet a little sad that I will get no recognition or kudos for what I have done.

What I have come to realize is that I was a happy and fulfilled person except for my obese body and now that I am only overweight, I can focus on that complete happiness. If anything I will need some new hobbies to fill all the time I have wasted binging, feeling guilty about food and planning and executing my next diet attack on my body. The freedom of knowing that my band will protect me from any extreme behavior is a comfort beyond measure.

I hope that you all find the bliss in your new healthier bodies and clothes that express you without exposing your floppy arms.

Keep moving forward.

Lanie

WOW lanie VERY well written almost poetic. Your positive out look and attitude is both refreshing and inspiring. It has helped me to re-focus my body/mind issues and I will hopefully learn to embrace the new me. Thanks!