Well as a lot of you know I have a lot of issues with my mom. Well she has made it known now what a whore I am. Here is the link in question. I am Ginger Rayne...

www.bravenet.com - A Bravenet.com Vote

And here are her words of wisdom...after you read please tell me do you see what she is talking about? Am I a bad girl?

Dearest Daughter,

Without a doubt you are the most beautiful lady on there! I have my feelings and reservations and I hope that you will respect them as I am trying to respect and understand you and where you are coming from! I am very proud of you; and all your accomplishments! Including your weight loss, and new sense of self image!

Still I have some strong feelings and reservations on this subject of your my space; and this other web site! I am not happy with all the types of people that will be seeing our daughter in this matter!

I am going to ask you to do something difficult; please put yourself in my MOTHER shoes for just a minute! My mother shoes are screaming walk the other way please! Maybe I just don't understand all the Internet attraction; or your need to have your fans. Maybe I am an old fashion lady? What would you think if your mother did this? What will you think when someday Brooke or Faith thinks this is great; and God forbid they take it even one or two steps farther? You are a mom; along with being a mom is an incredible responsibility!!! One that I have always taken very seriously; and passionately! I know I have not been perfect; and I admit I have made tons of mistakes. My thought is from a mom's outlook here! I believe that I have taught you well; and to respect yourself, to think things through, to see the repercussions of your actions and that of others.

I don't want to see anything bad happen to anyone of our girls; no matter what their age! What if someone from your daughters school see's these and says something negative to them? We all know how people have their own judgements and opinions, and can even be very cruel at times! Will they hurt your daughter's in anyway with their comments or actions?

You look stunning and beautiful as you always have to us; but you don't need others to tell you that really do you? I hope that this letter does not put a wedge between us in anyway? I am not angry; just very concerned ! What if this comes back to haunt you someday? For instance in the job market? You are looking for a great future with a great job, of great responsibility! What if someone were to have the opinion that you aren't qualified because they think your judgement isn't quite what they had hoped for?? We have seen many times on the news were things have came back to haunt people; epically those of power or influence? Let use a for instance: Say you are an executive director of a large hospital or nursing home; someone turn this web stuff up, and due to a moral clause in your contract you have signed you lose your job? I know you think I am way out there on this but it is just my opinion and something serious to think about!! I know you aren't nude; but there leaves a lot to the imagination here. Guys with there tongues hang out doing God knows what are looking my daughters picture! Guys like Ralph!

I feel like a failure as your mom if I don't at least say my peace! I am not angry, trying not to judge; more asking WHY?? I am proud to call you my daughter! You are intelligent, breathtakingly beautiful, goal orientated, hard working; and more! I ask you to think about all the things that I have put out there in this heartfelt letter! Sometimes as mom's very often we have to just stand up for what we believe in; I am saying in my opinion you are not thinking this through well enough!

You are excited, proud, and finding yourself in this world. Great! But please do be careful that the wrong people do not find you; or misjudge you! This world is full of opinions, judgements, dangers; and a lot more. All I am asking you is to be aware of it! Please don't be angry with me; I am just being your Mother! A mother who LOVES her daughter with all her heart and soul! A mother who only wants the best for children, grandchildren; and my family! At least tell me you can understand that part of my concern? Again you are a Stunning Beauty. Let your inside beauty shine as brightly or brighter than you outside beauty so that others may know the true Brandy we all know and love! With all my heart. Love your Mom

P.S. You have a link open from this voting place to your my space page; please consider stopping that link; and keeping your my space private to only those you choose! Please call me, and let me know how Norman is doing. And please let me know what you think of my letter; I will except what you have to say; all I ask is you understand my deep concern for you and our granddaughters. Again, Love you tons. Your mom forever no matter what!!!!

Brandy - I think you are a beautiful person, both inside and out. I have some issues with my mom as well, so I think I can relate to what you are going through. Keep your head up and do what is best for you and your family. She has her opinion and we can't make our mother's into what we want them to be no more can we be the daughters they want us to be. I've spent the majority of my life trying. I could never quite live up to her expectations. It is exhausting.

I think your photos are tasteful and you look wonderful. I know if I ever get photos done my mother would react the same way as yours. Hell, she didn't even go to my wedding. I went to the beach the other weekend and got a henna tattoo. You'd think I'd gotten a full body permanent tattoo. Mom just said, "You know what I think about those." We got into a huge argument...I told her it wasn't her business. Then she went into the whole "I didn't raise you to abuse your body. blah blah blah." Anyway - I didn't mean to make this about me. My mom gets my blood boiling too.

As a mom, I would probably be concerned if my daughters put photos of themselves on the net for everyone to see. I'd like to keep them little and innocent, protected from the world's dangers forever. That however isn't reality. I know they are going make decisions that I will not like. They are going to hurt me at some point and it will all be okay. It will be their lives to lead and their decisions to make.

You hang in there girl. ((hugs)).

BBK,

I'm originally from Michigan and I feel your pain. Take a big hug, girlfriend *hugs*

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Your photos are beautiful, tasteful and just plain gorgeous! You are not in control of what people do when they see your photos - there are pervs out there who get their jollies looking at pics of little kids fully dressed - you can't control that.

I understand your anger and hurt at what your mom said...and kudos to you for NOT cutting her out of your life - many would have done exactly that and never said another word to her. You are the bigger (actually, thinner) person and should be incredibly proud of yourself for all the hard work you've done.

Imagine the role model you are for your daughters - you took your life and your destiny into your OWN hands - you could have sat back and had a big pity party and done nothing! You fought, struggled and WON! You committed to something that you KNEW wasn't going to be a quick fix, and YOU DID IT!:embaressed_smile: You did the right thing, day after day, week after week, month after month. You set a goal and kept on working until you reached it...what's not to love about what you've accomplished?

I only pray I have the strength of character and the stick-to-it-iveness to do what you've done...I am incredibly proud of you, sista, and I haven't even met you face to face!

Hang in there - they say what doesn't kill you makes you strong, so you are without a doubt one of the strongest women on this board and in the lovely state of Michigan, indeed, in the entire US of A!

Leslie--I am sad to hear you know how I feel then. I am sorry for you as well!

As a mom I just want my love to be completely unconditional, unlike my mom.

Ebony--thank you! I appreciate your kind words of wisdom! :embaressed_smile: You speak volumes to me. Everyone does here!

THANK YOU ALL!

Leslie--I am sad to hear you know how I feel then. I am sorry for you as well!

As a mom I just want my love to be completely unconditional, unlike my mom.

My girls will never doubt my love for them no matter their decisions. I never want them to feel they aren't good enough or have to achieve something for me to love and support them. I've learned that from my mom. I didn't mean any offense in saying what I said - perhaps it came out the wrong way. I see nothing wrong with your pinup shots - you look great girl. If either of my children grew up and did the same thing I would be proud of them. My concern would be the people I can't control (perverts) looking at them, though this world is filled with perversions of all sorts. I get overbearing just taking them to the park to play (worried about strangers, kidnappings). There are some sick people in this world However, I would support them and not berate them for their decision - knowing me I'd probably go to the shoot with them. I'm sorry if I offended you.

Hi BBK,

I just wanted to say if you want to take pictures of yourself its your business. I know your picture aren't overly sexy or trashy but it's the point of being able to do something that makes you feel good about yourself. I mean seriously, how long had most of us been over weight? I know it's been all my life, I don't even want to take regular pictures much less any other kind, but I can't wait until I get to a weight that I am comfortable doing that! I think after all of the years of feeling fat and not attractive to other men, if I want to post some pictures then I owe it to myself for all the times I thought I couldn't. Other people don't realize how being overweight effects you everday. Men won't hold doors open for you, cashiers ignore you, I mean, you just feel like the world just trys to overlook you. Anyway, keep up the good work and don't let someone elses opinion get you down(even if it's your mother). It's your life, live it to the fullest... :tt1:

Hey BBK, this is kind of a weird random question, but who is Ralph, and why is your mom specifically worried about him seeing your pinup pics?

Hey BBK, this is kind of a weird random question, but who is Ralph, and why is your mom specifically worried about him seeing your pinup pics?

He is my Dad's best friend. Who has never seen them. How weird eh?

Brandy,

Please don't let your "mom" get you down. I'm sorry but if she wouldn't protect you when you needed her to the most, she can't say jack about what you are doing now AND as an adult, no less! Actually, I'm not sorry at all!

I think your pics are beautiful and VERY tasteful! (I've also voted a couple of times too!) I might be able to understand her "concern" if she was talking about the woman's pic above yours. Now that's risque!!

Anyway, I agree with the others who say to tell her thanks but no thanks. Move on and ignore her. Oh! And I don't think you're anorexic and I'm sure your DOCTOR agrees! Sheesh! Like you're not being supervised by the medical community and someone, somehow, missed that! Sheesh!!

You really need to remember where the "concern" is coming from before you get all wound up! It's hard, I know.

I'm also sorry about all your stress. I'm also sorry about your grandma-in-law. I hope the news turns out better than it's looking.

Take care. HUGS!!

I understand how you feel. I always felt like I was judged by my mother. I had so many times of dealing with issues just like you seem to have. Your mother keeps telling you how much she loves you and is proud of you. That is special. My mother, although I knew she loved me very much, would have never told me with so much emotion as your mother does in the letter. My mother passed away pretty suddenly in January and I miss her every single day. I had a difficult relationship with her but I want her so much and I will never have her again. You have no idea how hard that is.

Please- appreciate her. You only have one mom and she will not be with you forever. It is so hard to take back the things that you wish you could. Appreciate her now amd don't worry so much about what she says-she is here and that is what really matters.

Hey, I was going to ask about Ralph too, but was trying to be delicate.

Hey, I was going to ask about Ralph too, but was trying to be delicate.

Are you saying I'm indelicate?!? Why, I'm like honey.....smooooooooth.... <----- blatant sarcasm

Well, based on the answer, I was being overly sensitive. But you see, I was thinking that there was some logical reason to throw Ralph in there. I.E., that the idea that Ralph would see the picture would somehow upset BBK. But apparently not...

Why, I'm like honey.....smooooooooth.... <----- blatant sarcasm

Honey is goopy, sticky and makes a HUGE mess when it gets all over everything! It's sooo hard to clean up! <sigh>

Honey is goopy, sticky and makes a HUGE mess when it gets all over everything! It's sooo hard to clean up! <sigh>

But honey is so "sweet" LOL

Hey BBK, this is kind of a weird random question, but who is Ralph, and why is your mom specifically worried about him seeing your pinup pics?

Was wondering the same thing, glad you asked. LOL

BBK. When I first read the letter, I thought, okay, a very concerned mom. Maybe a little over the top, but concerned none the less. The internet can be dangerous, and I could see her point. The pictures? Good heavens. I was a high school teacher for several years and I've seen WAY worse parading up and down the hallways!!! Your pictures were in good taste, and nothing, absolutely nothing was showing that would warrant your mom's criticism. Then, I read your post further down about what you suffered through as a child, and that your mother did nothing to stop it. WHAT? I was stunned. This reaction coming from the same person that allowed that to happen to a child? I clentched my teeth. There's a whole lot more to all this. Now I understand your pain. YOu're right. she had no right to say it at that point. She lost her priviledge to act like a mother to you. And notice I say priviledge. She squandered that. I now see the letter as concern for HERSELF!!! She was worried about Ralph for God's sake!!! She didn't want this to reflect on her!!! Her concern for "you" is a load of crap. Pure and simple. Sorry. I hate to be blunt. Once you do that to a child, you're unredeemable as far as I'm concerned. You live your life, love your kids, be comfortable in your skin (Hell you deserve it!), and celebrate your blessings. Leave the dirt where it belongs.... In the bin. Don't EVER let her get the best of you.