I would love to hear anyone else's situation if you had family/spouse totally against having WLS. I am a 40 yearold married mother, but I am close to my parents. My hubby is ok w/my lapbanding (not crazy about it, but knows I am miserable being overweight) but when I told my parents they went crazy. "NO, dont have that surgery" "you just need to go on a diet" "this is a huge mistake" blah blah blah. They become visibly upset whenever I try to discuss it. Anyone have any advice.:wink2:

Well, in an indirect way the gall bladder surgery was probably a result of the lap band. Many people end up having to have gall bladder surgery when they lose a lot of weight or if they lose weight very quickly.

Don't know how old your parents are, BUT, here's something they might not have considered....there will possibly come a day when they will need to depend on you and YOU want to be healthy enough to be a help to them.

My weight SERIOUSLY hindered my ability to help do things for my mother when she got bedridden just before she died of diabetes and strokes related to a lifetime of obesity.

My sister (who's been overweight all of her life) was in the hospital having a double bypass while my dad was dying in another hospital and I was running back and forth between the two hospitals. I spent a lot of that drive time crying because I could see where my path was leading me and I didn't want to end up like my mother and my sister!!

PLUS, I now can romp and play with my grandkids -- something I missed out on a lot when my own kids were little. I can't get those years back. But I can get the best out of the years I have left to me.

Do what you need to for yourself!!!!

My husband says not to count my chickens until the eggs hatch (insurance company) my mother was against it until a friend of hers told her she had bi-pass and has lost 90lbs. I just don't talk about it anymore with my dad and step-mom.

I opted not to tell my mother-in-law. She worries like there is no tomorrow, and if I have a cold she asks about it for months. So, I knew it would not be a fun discussion with her. Not to mention she cannot hear much

Now, 35 lbs. lighter, she hasn't even noticed (or said anything, any way), all she has said is that I look so rested and good. Most of the other family members know, and someone might have told her. But I think I'd have gotten a lecture if she knew.

I think it was much better all the way around, she wasn't worried and I didn't have to argue with her.

It is a personal decision who to tell or who not to tell. I have been pretty open about it. She's about the only person who doesn't know! With those who have been less than supportive, I just don't discuss it with them again.

Denise

I am very close to my parents also, and when I brought up to them that I was considering band surgery they were dead set against it. My husband has been supportive of the whole process. At first I considered not having the procedure because of my parents feelings but decided to go ahead with it and NOT tell them. I chose this, not to be deceptive, but because I know what is best for me. Their opinions were based on fear and emotion, not information and the reality of the future I faced living in my morbidly obese body. I don't know if I will ever tell them because I don't want them to worry. Every time I see them (about once a month) they say "See you didn't need that band, you are doing it on your own!" I tell them I am eating less and exercising, mostly the truth. Ultimately, it is making them happy that I am getting healthier. If they ever find out I have the band, I will just stress to them that I love them and value their feelings but I am an adult and make my own decisions! I am sure they don't clear everything with me before they do it! Only you should have the final say on this type of life changing decision.

My mom, at first, was against it. Then I pointed out to her that I am built like her and when she told me to just diet I actually asked her "how's that working for you?" She saw my point and is now very supportive. My DH said just this morning that this has been the best money we have ever spent. He like the new energetic, sexy, self assured person I am becoming. I love my family, but I knew I needed to do this for me.

hey thanks everyone for your great stories and advise.

notice how you never see any posts hear saying"LAP BAND HAS DESTROYED MY LIFE" pretty much the opposite

Im a nurse and come across people all the time who have had previous bypass and 100% have said they are thrilled

Im not discussing the lb anymore w/my family

I think I was looking for their approval (like a little kid)

Im on month 3 of the 6 month diet and Im doin it. (trying not to lose too much weight... silly huh)

Im excited

keep up the good work all!!

My DH is very supportive and my cheerleader right now. I told some of my friends and got mixed reactions but none so bad that I am afraid of losing their friendship over it. The friends that are not so sure about it I do not bring it up in conversation anymore and we're fine. I then told some of my immediate family who I knew would be very supportive even if they did not agree with my choice. They handled it exactly the way I knew that they would. Now when I go over to their house they call before I come to see what I can eat. They will go to Trader's Joe's (favorite place) and buy food which I can eat right now on my pre-op weight loss. My Grandmother is 86 years old wanted to be educated about it before she would agree :biggrin: So I explained the whole process to her in a way she would understand it and yes I got her approval (I hope the insurance is this easy). Her only concern was the surgery like everyone elses family no one likes to see anyone go through it. I will not tell my dad and mom since they will not understand and will give me nothing but grief and anxiety over it and it's not what I need in my life right now. I do not know if I will ever tell them but they will be happy to see that I lost weight and that I am happy and healthy. That's more important to me.

My dad is a panic monster, I went through him being totally stressed before my sx. Once it was done he just chilled out completely and now that I am so close to goal he doesnt stop telling me how great look!

It is the fear of the unknown, once it is done they will be fine.

It’s so interesting to see how different families react. Things for me were very different. My mother actually signed me up for a lapband seminar without telling me, and about the same time, my father began giving unsolicited daily updates on a woman he works with who recently had lapband surgery (ie, “She’s already lost 20 lbs, isn’t that great?”). What’s strange is that my parents are divorced and don’t talk to each other – but they both started hinting at the same thing at the same time!! I couldn’t/wouldn’t have done this without my family, and I am so incredibly happy that I did. I owe them so much- they, all of them – grand parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, step parents, and siblings, have been 100% supportive.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

The only person who had any issues with my getting the surgery was my best friend. She’s a bit of a nut job so she started going off on how risky it was and how I should diet. You would think that since she is even larger than I am, she would understand that diet doesn’t always work – god knows her and I have tried to diet together a million times without success. But, I just told her I was gonna do it anyway and she accepted that – really what else could she do? I’m now trying to convert her- she needs this surgery too- she was recently diagnosed with diabetes and insists (get this) that it’s ‘temporary’ diabetes and will go away sooner or later!! ARGH!<o:p></o:p>