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Butterflies getting the best of me!
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poohprecious 1 post
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MADE IT 2 MY GOAL..OH YEAH 1 post
Hey everyone. This may be more of a blog thing instead of a thread but I am needing some serious help here. It is now 1 week and 1 day until my surgery date. It's 12:11 a.m. and I can't sleep. I am so nervous right now, that I am just about sick at my stomach.
I want so bad to have this surgery. I look at the before and after pictures of the men and women on here and I can just picture myself thin again. I can see myself a happier person, a better wife, and a better mom. I don't want to be afraid to look in the mirror anymore because I know that when I do, I will feel nothing but disappointment in myself for letting my weight get so out of control.
So what's with the butterflies you may be wondering? Well, basically, I am worried that I wont wake up from the sugery. I have said this before but the only thing worring me is blood clots. Here, I am. Other than my weight, I am healthy. My doctor and his nurse was surprised that I don't have high blood pressure or any other health condition caused by being overweight. I don't drink or do drugs but I do smoke (I know, I should quit and I want to but it is really hard).
I was laying in bed with my husband before getting on the computer to write this and just about broke down crying cause I am so scared. He tells me that I shouldn't worry that everything will be fine. That in a few months I'll be down alot of weight looking for new cloths and running circles around him. But I can't seem to get this fear out of my head. Has anyone else gone through this? I mean it is so bad, I have had thoughts about canceling this surgery, yeah, it's that bad.
Can someone please help me out here? Can someone please say something or do something to calm me down? Is there some kind of test that can be done to make sure I have no markings in my blood for blood clots or what? This is so frustrating, here I am 1 week away from doing something that will make me feel so much better about myself and I'm so nervous that I can't stand it. What's wrong with me?:crying: