My Dr insists on his support group. There is also one online. I joined only to find out that I am the only Lap Band. Everyone is RNY, Gastric Bypass. I was referred to another web site, even more biased to Bypass. I was "attacked" for my choice. Someone remarked, I can't believe Dr K didn't talk you out of the Lap Band like he did me. YOu are not going to be happy.

I just need some Lap Band Support.:thumbup:

You are here now and WE are delighted to have you! I have found it very, very comforting to have this place to be able to ask my stupid questions, share my excitement and, of course, gripe sometimes.

Welcome!

That's really unkind of them, particularly because I bet they're familiar with the feeling of people judging and second guessing their decision.

I would just think about the reasons you decided to go with the Lap Band over RNY. For me, I wanted something that was reversible if necessary, which didn't alter my anatomy, and which did not result in malabsorption and the "dumping" syndrome (not because I'm a sugar-addict, quite the opposite, but I would like to be able to have a small slice of birthday cake without pain...just part of how the Lap Band lifestyle and speed and type of weight loss seems more reasonable to me). The complication rates for RNY vs Lap Band are extremely significant and if I hadn't already made up my mind, that would have done so for me. Also, I was concerned about pregnancy post-WLS and Lap Band is clearly the way to go on that front from everything I've been told and read.

In addition, one of the surgeons I consulted with basically explained to me that in his mind, he would only encourage RNY over Lap Band to those people who have been told that they *must* lose 50lbs in 6 months or they may die. He thinks that everyone else would probably be better served by the band but allows people to make their own decisions (after a class on the different procedures), and according to what their insurance may cover (some do RNY but not Lap Band for complicated reasons).

Also, keep in mind that often when people are critical of others' decisions it's to help them feel more confident in their own decision. Maybe they struggled with RNY vs Lap Band decision and this is their way of making themselves feel like they made the right one (immature, yes, but it's very common in all areas of life--for example I chose to live in one neighborhood over another, probably equally great one, but I still catch myself wanting to talk badly of the other one for no good reason). Maybe they wanted Lap Band but their doctor pushed for RNY, maybe their insurance only covers RNY, maybe they didn't even know about the band until post surgery.

Finally, I'd tell myself that if indeed they are right and I might regret my decision, the one that I made is reversible and convertible to an RNY if it comes to that. Some people don't like thinking this way, but I think it could help.

Hope this helps. I'd suggest you speak with your surgeon or program coordinator about this, and see if you can get into a different support group. Either that, or just stick up for yourself in group. I personally like playing the guilt trip card. I may mention, to their faces, that this is meant to be a support, not second guessing group.

Edited July 19, 200818 yr by PennyLane
grammar

Oh hon, don't you worry about what those people say. You know why you chose the lap band and to be brutally honest it really isn't any of their business what type of choices you make in your life. The lap band is effective in weight loss, that is proven. Yes, it is a tool and you have to "work" your band, but in reality that is what you end up having to do with the RNY. Sure, they lose weight really fast and dramatically, but a lot of them gain their weight back at the same frightening pace. Have you seen Carnie Wilson lately? My suggestion to you is to ignore them and to remain confident that you made the best choice for you possible. If it were me and someone said something like that to me, I would tell them that it is none of their business and that you did not ask or want any of their biased opinions. You just keep doing what you doing, lose the weight, safely and in the end it won't matter anyway.

Good luck in your weight loss! I have faith that we can do it; I studied both RNY and Lapband for a long time prior to having my surgery and I can say I am 100% comfortable with my choice and no one would be able to tell me otherwise.

Thank you all so much. I am so thankfull that I found this website. Funny that the Surgeon didn't tell me about it.

You are all so supportative and I am am so glad I found you.

I unsubscribed from the site and if asked by my Surgeon, I think I will tell him the truth! He needs to know that his support group is one sided and very predjudice and not supportive at all.

Thanks for being there. :biggrin2: Debbie

I've had several gastric bypass patients say things to me...as if their way is the only way. You have to make the choice that is right for you! I know that I would have been unhappy with gastric bypass, as I would have constantly been worrying about being sick.

I'm glad you found the forum...it's nice to have supportive people around.

The support group at this hospital is mostly RNY patients. I went to two meetings (it was mandatory) and I left both times pissed as hell. I mentioned I was getting the lap band and it was on from there. I was not a happy person by the attitudes of these women over my choice. I told the director that the meetings were a joke, and I felt no support no help at all by the women there as they were against my choice and chose to ignore any and all questions I had about WLS. Even the nutritionist that was supposed to be directing the meeting ignored questions from me.

After talking with the program director and informing her that the WLS support group was like a gossip fest for RNY patients and a place for them to trash any form of WLS other then RNY she agreed that maybe it needed an overhaul. She wanted me to go back and be the spokesperson for lapband but I told her that as long as those women were there it wouldn't be any good. As they were even trashing the women waiting to get RNY and it was those women that needed to be removed from the meetings until they changed there ways. I don't appreciate people telling me that my choices are bad and not researched while the "only" surgery worth having is RNY. These are the same women that looked sallow (pale and sickly), had enough bald spots to be there own hair club for women commercials, and were talking about having to take 3x the normal amount of daily Vitamins because of the malabsorbtion.

Now I am not dissing RNY, it is a god send for people that really need to lose x amount or they die. Or even men/women that aren't sure they can comply with the band. I think in some cases it is literally a life saving surgery (but so isn't the lap band). Its this support group here that has me gnashing my teeth and telling the program coordinator she needs to attend some herself or have someone film it so she can see some of the things being said and done. IMHO it is not a support group but more of a cult designed to brainwash people to think that if they are trying anything other then WLS they are wrong.

ahh sorry long rant I know, but it pissed me off that bad.

We all need support one way or another. This is a great site and you can make great friends here. I chose to have the lapband sugery and happy that I did. I have a friend who had RNY and lost drastically fast. She was sick most of the time. That is not the way I wanted to live. I may be losing 2 lbs a week but thats okay with me!! Slow and steady is better and healthier. I wish all that decided to go with the lapband much success. WE ARE ALL LOSERS!!! LOL!!! Have a blessed day!!!

Fran

xo

Hmm. I went to a seminar in June, with a Dr. K, who seemed definitely to be more in favor of gastric bypass than lap band. While I liked what he and his colleague had to say, I don't need to be in a room with women who are goin to be trashing what is important to me. Thank you for this thread.

I went to a seminar in June too, and came away thinking I had made a mistake and cancelled my lapband surgery. No one was there for me. I finally rescheduled it, but it was very negative on lapband.

The lady said to me, "Are YOU going to be happy only losing half the weight you need to lose??" I was like, well no, I want to lose it all. And she said the stats are only 50% that we will lose the weight to a normal BMI. By the time the seminar was over, no one else was considering lapband. Very preduidical.

I get crap all the time from RNY. I had one tell me that I had the surgery that makes you throw up all the time. I told her at least I didn't have the one that made you shit all the time. I am sick of it being us against them. My mom had the RYN and even she is like that.

I get to show off though when I go to the Dr. They make a big deal about me there bc I am the most sucessful bandster they have ever had, so I get more attention. I love it and a few times I have swayed people away from the RNY.

I am NOT a fan of obesityhelp because of the RNYsters over there.

Flowers, I am so sorry that you had such a negative experience. I was lucky, I was able to get some real facts from my Band Buddy. Please, follow your heart. Quite a few of us have experienced the prejudice from these groups.

Here are a couple facts you all should know - I have seen these in more than one place, take them as you would like:

Erosion is RARE , they need to get their stats before they quote them . Slips are Rare and 90% of the time are fixed w/ an unfill !

And at the 5 yr mark weight loss for the band and the RNY are the SAME !!!

I was very upset and copied exact quotes from the posts to show her what "they" had said. And I just read, RNY might be faster in the beginning, but Lap Bands have the same loss down the road.

I'm not sure about you, but I choose the slower method for a reason. My regular MD liked the slower method for the same reason. I myself personally am looking for a "healthy" or near healthy method. I do not care to have to worry about malabsorbtion issues for years.

Something we should all think about, I don't recall seeing any posts bashing RNY or anyother bypass procedure. On my Surgeon's web site, I encoraged someone to make their own decission and was met with a bariage of trash talk. Everyone is different and the choice is theirs.

Lapband is safer. And it is for me. Yes. i was offered rny at the age of 15. Said no noooooo way wouldnt do it today either. :biggrin:

Yes people give me crap but i also have one rny friend whoooo thinks the lapband is wonderful for me (she gained back half of her weight from surgery)

Yes, Debbie, I agree. Slower is better. I have friends who had their stomach stapled, and both have gained weight back. I also know someone who had RNY, and she wasn't told a lot of stuff, she says, like the amount of vitamins she has to take. I'm not saying that RNY isn't a good thing for some people, but there has to be room for everyone to find whatever is right for them. Just my opinion.

Right now my best friends mom is going through all the pre-stuff for getting the RNY surgery. She's filling my friends head with all these negative things shes "knows" about the lap band, like how apparently having the lap band makes it easier to "cheat" and how you can't eat any of the foods you like. People are just ignorant and need to be educated. Unfortunately some people are just stuck in their ignorance and refuse to aknowledge that they might be wrong about something. A few of my friends parents have had the RNY done, some have had tons of success, a couple are bigger now then they were pre-surgery. No surgery is a miracle cure-all. People have to work at loosing weight. When people are being stupid and judgemental, I just try to ignore them. I know that I have made the right decision.

Right now my best friends mom is going through all the pre-stuff for getting the RNY surgery. She's filling my friends head with all these negative things shes "knows" about the lap band, like how apparently having the lap band makes it easier to "cheat" and how you can't eat any of the foods you like. People are just ignorant and need to be educated. Unfortunately some people are just stuck in their ignorance and refuse to aknowledge that they might be wrong about something. A few of my friends parents have had the RNY done, some have had tons of success, a couple are bigger now then they were pre-surgery. No surgery is a miracle cure-all. People have to work at loosing weight. When people are being stupid and judgemental, I just try to ignore them. I know that I have made the right decision.

Easier to cheat on the band?? WOW if someone knows a way to cheat please tell me! My mom had the RNY, she eats 2-3 times more than I do and eats crap. She can't get an adjustment now that she has stretched her pouch and is very sorry she did it.

I personally think the band is a bit harder than the RNY because if we wanted we could eat bad stuff. We have to make more of a commitment, maybe that is what is so scary to them!