PennyLane

A friend of mine who lives in Vietnam has had serious trouble getting a job because she has acne and doesn't look "Vietnamese enough" (she's from the far northern part of the country where peasants of Chinese ancestry live) according to some interviewers. Standards may be different for foreigners there, I don't know. Things are just really very frustratingly different in that part of the world, not that it makes it alright or anything. I was only living there for a few months and I knew I wouldn't be able to take it much longer than that.

One thing to keep in mind about the band is that part of the reason the estimated weight loss for the band is lower than the bypass is that you do still absorb everything you eat, whereas with the bypass you don't. You can still eat a small volume of food that is calorie and fat laden and/or drink high calorie liquids (that aren't stopped by the band) and you will still "get" all those calories. Basically, the band (to a greater extent than the bypass in my opinion) is really just a tool to help a new lifestyle of diet and exercise work, not to do the work of dieting and exercising for you. Bypass, because of the malabsorption issue is less like this, however I have heard that over time, the stomach stretches and the body gets used to malabsorption and that's why the weight regain happens. With the band, if you're going to be successful you have to make a total lifestyle change, which I think will be the key in keeping the weight off permanently. If you are unable to make that change, though, the band might not work for you. Also, something to read about bypass is "dumping syndrome". I never considered bypass at all (for various reasons of safety, pregnancy, permanence etc) but if I had, I think that this would have been the deal breaker for me. Hope that helps

At first I was going to try to suggest that maybe it's the parents' way of controlling what kind of toys/clothes are given to their child (I know a lot of people who don't want certain things in the house like battery operated toys, or plastic stuff, or things affiliated with a particular "brand" like Disney Princesses and things etc) but I think if that's the case they should do the "your presence is present enough" thing (getting pretty popular at children's parties I hear). You're totally right, that is really tacky, especially if everything is so expensive. You can report them here (or just read the site, it's hysterical at some points) Etiquette Hell -Penny

Oh, I'm definitely going to figure out what happens here next. And wish bad tenants, too, or those who don't stay long. I honestly was planning on staying here until I left the DC area altogether, or until I got married (and maybe not even then, this is a perfect sized apartment for a couple--I'd just have to marry a short man or one who is good about ducking to get around the apartment!). There probably won't be any problems because the complainer in chief has moved out, but oh well. This was all for the best. I didn't hear from the new landlady today to sign my part of the lease and give her the deposit, which worries me slightly but she could have been busy. My dad signed his part and faxed it in (need a co-signer because I'm a grad student now and the income level isn't exactly what it used to be), but she wouldn't have offered the lease if she wasn't planning on following through....right?

Did they give you a fill on your surgery day, Goober? What did you eat that made you PB? Mine is totally open and loose--I feel like nothing's really very different and I couldn't get anything stuck if I tried. As for my challenges, it would be paying attention to the no more than 1 cup of food in one sitting rule (still on post-op diet). That's been tough, not because of hunger but because of habit. I'll fix a plate and realize that there's too much and set aside only about a cup to eat but then when I'm done the rest of it seems to call to me to be eaten. I have to get it out of my face then. Also, exercise. I've been having a lot of port pain and some serious personal life drama (mostly resolved now) so I've had a hard time getting my motivation up this past week. But I resolve to at least walk around the neighborhood for 30 minutes a day, if for no reason other than to keep in the habit of doing something, anything "exercise" related daily. For me, the battle is mostly mental, and forming a habit. Once the habit is there, I'm good to go. I'm considering joining a Masters swim team (masters just means "over 18") because I was a competitive swimmer my whole life until college. Seriously, I was on the "tyke team" which starts at age 5 or 6 and kept going until I was 18. I loved it and was in pretty good shape, too :thumbup:

Wow, guys, that sounds really bad! I do know there are bad tenants out there (I've encountered them) but it really is crazy the things people will do. A friends father is a landlord in another town in this area and they have a 13 page lease....it's actually famous among my friends because pretty much everyone has rented something from him at some point before--usually right out of college. Anyway, I saw it once and was laughing at the stipulations in there (can't remember specifics but I'll ask) thinking that he must be the most paranoid man on earth. Nope, they said. All of that comes from specific experience. He has a million crazy stories, apparently. But I'm just not one of those people (as far as I know anyway...this whole thing has started to make me worried that I'm some horrible tenant that no one would want). I always pay on time, and have never complained about a thing. Only times I've ever called them is when my toilet was broken (and I couldn't fix it) and when a window air conditioner needed replacing because it was blowing hot air--in three full years. I'm not silent but I'm not loud (I play music while I'm cooking, and am often up late and need to walk through the apartment). I used to smoke in here, but had I known anyone was complaining would have stopped immediately...I....I don't know what else you could complain about me about. Oh well. What's done is done. But good news.... I'm off to sign a lease! In a building kind of like the one I'm in now. Not nearly as old or historic--this one I live in is 220 years old and on a cobblestone street while the new place is (I'm guessing) just over 100 but age and historic factor were never the issue, I'd have moved into a brand new construction just as easily--I'm just pointing out the differences. Anyway, it's a converted townhouse, one apartment per floor. On the same street, but 6 blocks up. I have the ground floor this time instead of the old attic which is different but nice. I loved living up here even with the 4 flights of stairs because it's cute and pokey and the ceilings are slanted and it feels very cottage-cozy. But with the ground floor, I have no more grocery issues (planning shopping trips around weight and size of purchases is not fun), and "possession" of the little backyard area--mostly a patio with paving stones but some dirt areas in which to grow things (the landlady said, when I asked, "oh please do...I'd love for someone to get some good use out of this"). It also comes with a parking space in the alley behind the building which is a godsend around here. Where I live now is very close to the river, bike trails and the tourist stuff so getting home past 7pm means a loooong time circling for a space, and moving the car at all on weekends in summer usually means parking in a parking garage when you get back because there's no point in even trying. I have the parking enforcement number in my cell phone to report when things get bad (it's supposed to be 2 hour parking only for everyone but residents. That never happens). Size wise it's practically identical--one bedroom plus a den that many people choose to use as a bedroom (here that wasn't possible because of the location of the only bathroom so the den is a den). It's about $150 more per month than I figured they'd raise my rent to this year had they renewed, and $50 more than the kind of ugly one bedroom I looked at farther away and on the busiest intersection in town (all of this includes utilities too). Because it's share-able though, and I've given the option to several friends of mine who are looking to move to this part of town, my costs will actually wind up lower than they have been in 4 years.... So basically....I'm still sad to leave but this will be a great move physically and financially. I love this place and this couple of blocks (the waterfront, the cobblestone etc) and my neighbors (not the ones in the building--the ones who love up and down the street) but I can easily come down for visits. Hey, I can plan my daily walking regime to come by here :tongue:. I've been spending the afternoon researching shade-loving plants and debating climbing roses (for the fence not the house) or jasmine :tt2:

How much do you think stuff like this is affected by advertisement of the band(s) to the general public? Like how many people see the commercial and only get the "you'll lose weight" part out of it, search for "lap band" on the internet and find an inexpensive surgeon in the Google ads? Now, of course these people should know better than to make medical decisions based on TV commercials, Google ads and price alone but.....yeah...people should know better than to do a lot of things they do, you know? Those ads don't show anything approaching the nitty-gritty of banding, and perhaps some people just think "oh, I'll eat less because I won't be so hungry" and think they understand the procedure. Not to defend this type of behavior but sadly, I see how it is totally possible.

Yeah it does seem unfair but I am trying to put myself in a landlord's shoes. Say I owned my dream apartment but then joined the Peace Corps for two years...I'd want it back when I came back and so wouldn't renew their lease. Or if I owned a rental property near a university that my child was about to attend--I'd not renew so that my kid could live there. There doesn't have to be a reason, just like I wouldn't need a reason to not renew the lease. But all that even-temperedness doesn't change the fact that there IS a reason--but the claim is completely false and they just won't listen to me. I did go in in person first thing on Monday to see what this was all about and she at first acted like I was spoiling for a fight--immediately on the offensive. But I kept my cool, didn't get emotional and said "ok, I understand if that's your decision and respect your concerns, I would like to reiterate that I have always done everything I could to be a model tenant and sympathetic neighbor but regardless we have to figure out the details of my leaving the apartment" and then we discussed painting (I painted the walls), and dates etc. I got an extra month out of them, and I think it may have been due to my being polite and understanding during a situation that most people would be shrieking. I am very lucky in that I have three good leads. Or well, one awesome lead, one a little weird but totally doable, and one which is a change of pace (much smaller, more suburban but a cute place at a good price). I hope #1 goes through but 2 or 3 would be fine by me. #1 was SERIOUS luck (heard about it, toured it and got to apply before it was advertised anywhere and she won't advertise unless I don't work out somehow). All this from remembering a detail of a conversation with a friend of a friend 6 months ago and following up, and then placing a cold-call. Amazing. In case you can't tell--the rental market is tight and competitive around these parts :w00t: One place I contacted got back to me saying that it had been rented site unseen after only one hour on Craigslist!

Thanks :cry_smile: It's from one of my favorite movies--I like that character.

Hi all, got a weird situation (I have an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow so no worries on that front, I'm just looking for some input here). I never really had any port pain at all, just at the incision line. Last night I sat down kind of strangely (and quickly, I kind of plopped down in frustration over a telephone conversation) and suddenly, some pretty significant pain about 2 inches above the port incision. I poked it a bit (later when the pain went away) and found that that's where the port is! The pain kind of comes and goes now, comes when I move or stretch in a certain way or even slouch in my computer chair. Anyone have this? What might it be? I'm of course worried I managed to pop a stitch and flip the thing or make the tubing come undone or something dramatic like that. Again, I'm seeing the surgeon tomorrow and will certainly ask there--but anyone know what I'm talking about? Suggestions?

I totally agree, Wasa. I was just saying that I hope that the successful veterans don't all get so frustrated by those groups that they leave because otherwise all that's left are the type of bandsters I originally encountered in my research--those who aren't losing, are PBing everything they eat, having complications, claiming it doesn't work, it's hell, it's dangerous etc. Because this picture was night-and-day compared to how my surgeon had explained it at the info session, I did more research and reading and eventually (after a while) came across those bandsters who do things the way I'd been told it works and have had huge success with it. I'm still quite a newbie (just over two weeks out) and I'm still shocked when I read about PBing every day, or reading about the types of food eaten (all soft, calorie rich foods that go right through the band) and all that sort of behavior--I can't imagine what it's like once you've been doing this for a while. I was just voicing my hope that not all the successful bandsters would get "run out" due to negativity from certain segments of the board. Thanks again, all, for your insights!

I'm getting my lease not renewed (effectively "kicked out" but not evicted). So, I used to smoke. This was a smoking building. I used to smoke indoors, as I was allowed to do according to my lease agreement. There is an office on the ground floor, and the receptionist used to smoke behind the desk there--this becomes important later. I quit in April of 2007. Around that time a very not nice neighbor who complained about EVERYTHING moved in on the ground floor (it's a 200 year old townhouse converted to one apartment per floor--I'm on the 4th). He wouldn't let the mailman leave our mail where he used to because he didn't like how it looked, he even called the City to cut people's bikes off of trees and signs and stuff when they would dare to park them not only in front of our building but on our ENTIRE BLOCK. He also started complaining non-stop about the smoking from the office on the ground floor (right next to his apartment). WHY he ever signed a lease in a smoking building right next to a woman who openly smokes in her office (obvious from the moment you step in the door) I will NEVER KNOW. I fell off the non-smoking wagon in about January of 2008. Apparently he figured that out because he started complaining about me too. In about March, a note went out the the whole building that this was now a non-smoking building and we can't smoke in our apartments (against the law for them to do in this tobacco-loving state at the time but I digress). Even though they technically can't do that by law and by my lease agreement, I do my best to be a model tenant and a good neighbor. I never smoked another single cigarette (and I don't smoke anything else at all) in this building ever. I quit smoking entirely in May, in part because smoking is stupid and because of this surgery. Apparently Mr. Jackass on the ground floor continued to complain about what must have been phantom smoke. I WAS NOT SMOKING indoors, and the woman in the office claimed to not be either (and I actually believe her because I'd see her outside on breaks during the day). He used this as an excuse to break his very long term (3 year) extremely expensive lease (about $3000/month US....mine isn't even half that the ground floor apartment is extensive--at least twice the size as mine and includes the back garden etc). So now, my lease is up and I was fully expecting it to be renewed just as it always has been every year for three years. I have never once received any complaints for smoke, noise, ANYTHING...the only indication I had that there was any trouble at all was the new non-smoking policy which I was in FULL compliance with. But nope--no lease renewal. Reason? Too many complaints about my smoking. (A) When I was smoking in here, someone should have told me it was bothering them and I'd have stopped instantly. I'm a nice, sympathetic person and I don't want to be a bother to anyone. (:thumbup: I NEVER smoked once they banned it in the building (which, again, they weren't even allowed to do in the first place!) Because this is not an eviction, just a non-renewal of a lease they don't actually have to have a reason at all (renewal is at the whim of the landlords here--they could not renew because they want to live there themselves, they need storage, want to save on utilities, whatever). The only good thing is that I will still have a positive reference from them because I wasn't evicted and apparently they aren't allowed to mention the reason for a non-renewal. But STILL. This was my HOME for 3 years and I take great pride in it, I love it and I love the neighborhood. It almost feels like they've forcibly euthanized my pets (seriously, I'm that sad about the loss of the apartment) but mostly I am SO MAD about being punished for something I didn't even DO! And besides, just because I "cost them a high cost long term tenant" (which I fucking didn't, I bet it was the receptionist sneaking cigs when she thought no one would notice), what use is punishing me now? He's gone and that apartment has been re-rented. She won't believe me I didn't break the rules, and won't believe me that I quit, and she said even if she did, a decision's been made and what's done is done. I feel like I'm losing a limb here, this house and this town are such a part of me. Finding another place that's similar to mine, anywhere close to my current neighbor for anywhere close to the price (and by anywhere close I mean like within $200-$400/month "close") is extremely difficult. This town is mainly privately owned townhouses--only a few have been converted to apartments like mine and they all run at quite a pretty penny. Oh, and about half of them are owned my my soon-to-be-former landlord. I am beyond devastated:crying:. Thanks for reading this much if you have. -Penny

Might be a bit far but when I was at the GW University Hospital's info session, I asked if I could still attend their support group if I had the surgery elsewhere (more just curious because I clicked with one of the nurses) and they said yes. So maybe give them a try? It's not hard to get to at ALL from I-66 or 395 (once you know your way around this tangled mess of an urban area that is).

Did they give you a fill at surgery? That sounds awfully tight to me, even considering swelling and stuff. I'd call the surgeon's office just to check in and tell them how you're feeling and see what they say. For me, I didn't feel any of that and still don't. I know for a fact that there is no fill in there, because I asked both before and after surgery.

I know this thread is old and I haven't even finished reading through it yet, but I just wanted to comment quickly to Chickie and other "veterans", particularly the very successful veterans. I'd make a list but then I'm sure I'd leave someone out but basically the common factors you all seem to have is not relying too much on "restriction", a total eating/cooking life overhaul, the addition of running as a passion and hobby and (shockingly enough) 100%+ of excess weight lost.... I did an insane amount of research on the band before getting the surgery, and an even more insane amount of reading this forum (largely the archives, and searching for particular words/issues). The program coordinator and surgeon are constantly surprised how much I know and what kinds of questions I ask. The program coordinator says that I could probably do her job! This is all in very large part due to you all. I can honestly say that you guys have been a wealth of information and a HUGE help in understanding the band, the process, getting into the correct frame of mind, motivation etc for me. Ask any of my friends, they'll even tell you! It's beyond "so and so lost 100lbs, so I want to copy them" it's more "this person has the right idea, knows what they're doing and is doing it well", I really can't begin to tell you how much you have helped me in this. I know it must really be terrible to have people saying such nasty things to you and I'd be sorely tempted to quit the boards as well, but not all of us are like that and I dare say most of us could really benefit from your continued participation on the boards. I don't know how to resolve the issue of people who solicit advice turning around and rejecting the advice and abusing the advice giver when it's not what they want to hear, but it is a shame if we lose active members who serve as good examples just because some people are...I don't even know what to call it. Oh and for the record, I don't think any of you are "showing off" (though I can see how the jealous mind could see it that way) and all of you look great, not "skinny" or "anorexic" and it's obvious (to me) that you've worked your asses off.