People flock to me wherever I go, and I don't mind. At work, where the majority of people I tend to see ,especially in the wee hours, are older white men. They walk up to my desk and start talking about random things. I don't mind. I enjoy a little random and I tend to be able to sit and look interested for a long peroid of time. Everyone has there talents- thats mine.

It seems, especially lately, that no matter how they start the conversation as we sit alone in the big showroom they always lean in and say something they assume I will agree with about other races. I do not like these terms they use and it shocks and sickens me.

I don't share my opinions to them on this matter for several reasons.

1. I am at work and these are customers. Not my customers as I don't sell anything, but it's a car dealership so even though I don't run around kissing their butt the way the salesmen do I am still required to be ultra polite. I also feel work is not the proper place to get in such a discussion with someone I have never met before. I don't agree with them. I usually just turn away and start doing something with my computer or luckily I am really buzy so I stop looking up after I get off the phone.

2. I have a deep respect for freedom. When people make comments against sexual preference, race, gender I will share my opinion but I don't fight against it. People have the right to their beliefs no matter how I feel that they are ignorant and wrong. I just have nothing to do with them.

3. I am usually in shock that someone I am having a pleasant conversation with five seconds before leans in and throws the n-word around when they have known me for three minutes. I am kind of struck dumb. I am not racist...It's hard for me to believe there are still proud racist out there that have all their teeth and can afford a new car.

When I went to the lake this weekend. My grandmother started complaining about service she recieved at gas stations and SHE started saying racist things too. Now we have always butted heads on this issue and instead of fighting with her as I did when I was younger I walk away and take myself out of the conversation. I won't talk politics, gay rights, or anything race related with her because it starts family wars. In fact...I won't talk politics with any of my family. I'm the black sheep of the family or I guess you could call me the rainbow liberal sheep of the family.

Anyway - I don't avoid confrontation...but I do think that people will become ignorant and cruel during one. I will state my beliefs and debate...but I will not fight, and I will not try to convince someone that I am right and they are wrong. I mean, I AM right and they ARE wrong, but I understand they will not admit it so I will not let that anger me.

The purpose for this long winded post is mostly to ask what you guys do when someone assumes you share their beliefs but you really really really do not. What do you do when they do this at your work place.

How do YOU handle confrontation?

I mean I've been fired for being gay, I have had people find out at work (not this one another job) and suddenly become icy and cruel.

OK, someone being fired for being gay simply pisses me off and in that case I WILL say something to their faces and won't even attempt to be civil and I really don't care about the consequences, that's plain cruel, stupid ridiculous people...:tongue_smilie:

Edited July 15, 200818 yr by ELENATION

Plain- I just read your post and cracked up.

Elenation- You anger strangely gives me hope for humanity. It is illegal in most states, but in louisiana we are at at will state which means that you can pretty much be fired for sneezing. Your employment is "at will" of the employer.

Plain- I just read your post and cracked up.

Elenation- You anger strangely gives me hope for humanity. It is illegal in most states, but in louisiana we are at at will state which means that you can pretty much be fired for sneezing. Your employment is "at will" of the employer.

Ugh! what a disgrace, so does that mean that in Louisiana your employer can fire you for being hispanic and they have the right to say it to your face and get away with it? or for being gay, or black? or any other racist reason? and I suppose they are within the law? that's just unbelievable, I never knew that, and obviously there is nothing anyone can do about it...wow....:frown: that sucks and I can't even believe how such law is allowed in this country.

Edited July 16, 200818 yr by ELENATION

No, an employer couldn't discriminate...but they could fire somebody without giving a reason (wink, wink).

I sit right next to someone like this. We hit it off quickly, and I liked her right away. As time goes on however, I’m finding myself doing my best to keep a distance.

Especially since one day we were talking and outta nowhere she starts throwing around negative comments toward African Americans. Frankly, I was pretty shocked. I was mostly shocked because I couldn’t believe she would think that I would have this same view. I never once led her to believe I did, so I felt mostly like it must have been something I’d done or said that would make her feel comfortable enough to say such things

Well Ready, in answer to your question, all I felt I could do was just look at her and kind of nervously slough it off. Then I turned around and started doing my work again. I seriously had no clue what to do. I was truly embarrassed for myself and for her. Who in the 21st century still thinks like this?

The most bizarre part of this whole thing is she claims to be a True Christian. Recently our boss sent around one of those Christian emails, and yesterday morning Im reading it as she comes into the office. She said “hello” and I said he same and continued reading, mostly because I didn’t feel like talking at the moment, not because I was really interested in the email. Frankly I didn’t feel emails like that are appropriate for the workplace, but that’s another topic entirely. She comments on me being quiet, I tell her Im reading the email “boss” sent around. She reads it and says “Wow, I’m so proud of ‘boss’ that he is doing things like that now” I say absolutely nothing, I do NOT share her view, but Im not going to get into right then and there. We are at work. So she reiterates that “VERY proud”. Again I say nothing.

She lets it go finally, but I just want to reply to the question. My response is always to just ignore it and hope it will go away. Some of you are fortunate where you don’t have to sit next to these people for nine, ten hours a day. Some of us do, and it can get pretty aggravating.

No, an employer couldn't discriminate...but they could fire somebody without giving a reason (wink, wink).

hhmm...I see, because that would fall under discrimination....even though that doesn't make it any better really... because ultimately they get away with it...:confused:

No, it really makes it even worse...because both parties usually know the real reason for the termination.

Yeah you are right, actually that pisses me off even more... because on top of being racists and prejudiced they are also being two faced hypocrites, lying to our faces, and making some BS excuse probably thinking that we are so stupid to realize the ugly truth... all of that makes it much worse...it's pathetic and sickening...

Edited July 18, 200818 yr by ELENATION

In this same vein (sp), my uncle is a kerazzzzyyyyyy Republican and began sending me these BS emails during the Bush/Kerry election and it has now begun again. Last election, I asked him not to send me anything political b/c we are SO far apart politically.

Today he sent me some "Obama's gonna tax us to death" email. I um kinda went off on him about how Bush Sr left Clinton with a huge debt that he whittled down only to have Dubya spend money like a drunken sailor. I also um kinda told him that he could keep sending the craziness but that I didn't read them.

OK so I was a little rude but HELLO this has been going on for at least 4 years. OMG

I hate that mindless political dribble (the kind that comes without references so you can validate....or worse, the kind that deliberately distorts quotes, takes things out of context, etc), whether from the right or the left.

BTW sick, even if you are a liberal, I forgive you.

I hate that mindless political dribble (the kind that comes without references so you can validate....or worse, the kind that deliberately distorts quotes, takes things out of context, etc), whether from the right or the left.

BTW sick, even if you are a liberal, I forgive you.

Ha!!! A conservative Texan? I'm shocked! :seeya:

To paraphrase:

All it takes for evil to continue is for good people to do (or say) nothing.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? If you do, then you might wonder why all of a sudden so many people are coming to you with the same thing. Could it be that the universe or god is trying to tell you something? Do you think maybe its time you did speak up and let people know you won't be a party to what they are saying?

Everyone has a right to their opinion, what about you? Don't you have an equal right to your own? The next time someone comes out with one of these comments, you can let them know you don't agree with them. Doesn't have to be rude, just to the point.

When the Nazis came for the communists,[/url]

I remained silent;

I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,

I remained silent;

I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,

I did not speak out;

I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,

I remained silent;

I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,

there was no one left to speak out.

Hmmm...too funny that I happened upon this conversation today. Just this morning someone did the whole "lean in and chuckle" about some completely inappropriate comment. My nice gene was out sunbathing at the pool but, alas, work does pay the bills so I had to be nice. "Nice" this morning was "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I actually disagree with that. I don't really think that we should speak on this again." I think the whole "proper southern woman movieness" of the second line threw him off guard.

Last night I was on the phone with a girlfriend of mine, love her to pieces but sometimes I just want to strangle her. She was going on and on about a co-worker she has and how mean he is etc. Then she dropped the N word like I should have agreed with her. I was polite and told her that she needs to find another word to use as I personally do not like the word and wont talk if it is used again. She actually got mad at me and told me that as her 'best friend' I was obligated to agree with her ... blah blah blah ..

I was tired and just wanted to go to bed, that and I was tired of being on the phone as she was the 3rd person in a row I talked too that late at night, so my comments to her weren't so nice.

Told her that because I was her friend I wouldn't agree with her and tell her when she was wrong not enable her prejudiced and make it "ok" that she uses certain epitaphs of hatred. I asked her to REALLY think about it and how would she feel if some random stranger started going on of indians around her knowing I am indian. It shut her up and she said goodnight in a really quiet "omfg I forgot your not white and I really stepped in it this time" voice. Woke up to 4 txt messages from her apologizing for her words and the promise that she will be more tolerable.

I wont hold my breath but hey I can hope.

Pix-

I applaud you for saying something. If someone (a friend, co-worker, whomever) says or does something you don't agree with, I believe one should speak up. While I believe that we've gone a little overboard about being "PC", I also think that had you stewed and just gotten madder at her, she would've never known why you were offended/pissed. The fact that the N word is even in our vocabulary is craziness to me!

Of course I also believe that picking on fat people is the last acceptable form of bias.