I was going to post this under a port pain thread but thought I would start a new one. I am having port pain I just hold on my port really tight and keep going. It takes the pain away. I figured that is what it was. It's hard to turn over at night and sometimes I can't get a deep breath..

I had to do a lot more walking yesterday and probably walked too much as I had to go say goodbye to my dad. He passed away last night. My mom drove me to see him and I am so glad I went to the Hospice unit to see him. It's almost like he waited for us to come up there. He was pulling for me to have this surgery. He even asked me the day before my surgery if I was nervous. I am more determined than ever to make this surgery a success in honor of my dad. I came really close to changing my surgery date but really glad I kept it. He would have been mad if I would have changed it on his behalf. I know he is proud of me.

For those that will, please pray that my fathers wife will have the respect for my 96 year old grandmother to honor her and my dad and have a funeral for my dad. At this point my dad's wife said she is having my dad cremated and is keeping the ashes at her house and not having any type of service for my dad. We feel my grandmother needs some type of closure for my dad.

You are definatley in my prayers. I hope that in the days to come you will find the peace that it sounds like your dad would want for you. Prayers for your grandmother and God's will for all of the details over the next few days as well.

Kim

You are in my thoughts and prayers. It is so terribly hard to lose a parent. I will pray that everything works out as God intends it to. Let us know how you are doing. Sending a big hug to you!

I will be praying for you and your family. Hang in there. kc hoping

ill be praying for you, keep your head up chic, you dad will be watching..

This is such a difficult thing to go through. Losing a parent is very hard and something not easily recovered from. I lost my father 10 years ago and I still have moments when I grieve his passing.

I'm glad your father was supportive of your efforts to improve your life. He sounds like a wonderful man that loved you very much. I'm sure he will be watching and guiding you as you continue your journey.

As far as the wishes of his current spouse, I hope that she can come to her senses and allow the funeral that your father wanted. It's so disrespectful to go against the wishes of someone that has passed on.

Best of luck to you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Dear Waikiki:

I am sure you have the prayers and love of all the Jazzy Junes! I pray that the days ahead will bring comfort and peace to you and your family. No matter what the current wife decides to do perhaps you and your grandmother can go to a church together or even sit quitely at home and have a small service for him. Remind yourself that his spirit will be with you always and he is with God now!

I send my respect to your mom for being the one to drive you to visit your dad in hospice! That is a huge support for you!

Continue to look forward and you will be a proud tribute to your dad!

Prayers are going up for you, your Grandmother and your MOM!

I am sorry to hear about your dad...That is a very difficult thing to go through. My dad died when I was 21, so I can relate...I am sure you will do well with your lapband!

My deepest sympathy. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like some of your family needs a service and a place to grieve. If his wife does not want to give him one couldn't the rest of you get together and have a memorial service for him? You are in my prayers.

Wakiki: I am sorry to hear about your dad. I am a hospice nurse and yes, I'm quite sure he did wait for you to come before he went home to be with the Lord. I see people wait all the time for family members. As for your Dad's present wife she's going to do what she's going to do. Every Hospice has chaplains, and grief counselors on board and most have small chapels or prayer rooms. Please talk to either the chaplain, or counselor about having a memorial service in your father's memory. Invite whom ever you want. His wife can either come or not. It's her choice. There's nothing written anywhere saying your family cannot have a memorial service. Go for it! Your dad will be smiling down at you.

Bunches of Prayers coming your way,

Susan

I hope you don't mind that a May bandster is in here; I saw the thread title and wanted to come in and offer my condolences.

Waikiki, I am so sorry for your loss. There are so many things I can say and offer from my experience... but the truth is, none of it matters but you and how you feel. I will be praying for you and your family, sending good vibes, and hoping for the best possible outcome.

You are among friends. I'll be thinking of you.

I would also like to add my thoughts and prayers.

I agree with the others, please think about having a memorial service if your Dad's wife doesn't. You need that closure. I've been a church secretary for 10 years and I've seen it a lot. There is a peace after a service. It's a good thing and very cathartic. Gets people talking about their loved one and telling funny stories, etc. Please seriously think about it.

You and your family, please take care.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Waikiki! I lost my dad 20 years ago and I still miss him. We are never wanting them to live on in pain, but we miss what they were to us and we miss seeing them so much. Our pain is mostly for ourselves as we know he is in a better place.

As a local pastor in the UMC for 10 years, with 2 small congregations, I can tell you cremations are here to stay. Some have nothing against them to begin with, some do it for financial reasons alone.

But the advice to have a Memorial Service is just right. All you need are some pictures of him. Invite her to come but don't let her response bother you in any way. Don't focus on her, focus on him. Ask the Chaplain to do "Celebration of Life" kind of service with good things remembered. Some scripture and a brief message, or whatever you want would complete the planning.

These type services are very important to end properly and remember and memorialize our loved ones. Email me at ges01@comcast.net if you'd like to discuss this. God's blessings on you and on the wonderful memories he is leaving you all.

Thank you all very much for your prayers. I have been praying with my home church First United Methodist Church Frisco, everyone has been so supportive. My dad's sister is going to have a memorial soon in East Texas if my dad's wife doesn't agree to a funeral service in the next week. My dad had so many friends and lots of family that would love to gather and remember the great times we had with him. My dad would love for his family and friends to gather to remember him, in an honorable way.

Again, thanks to everyone for your prayers during this time and I am so glad for the support of my bandster family.

So sorry for your loss, you are in my prayers and thoughts.

I am sure and hoping that she will change her mind, I am sure she is grieving and she may just not want to let go.....she should respect his and his family's wishes.

big hugs and lots of prayers. i wish i could smack that wife on the head! thats just rude and disrespectful. hang in there girl. if you need anything call on us, totally happy to help.