After losing a noticable amount of weight,and getting compliments from the ladies in my office I noticed that the men WILL NOT say anything even if they notice it.

I mentioned to a few men in my ofcie about the amount of weight I have lost. They all say, "Yeah I noticed but I did not want to say anything just in case." Whats with that.

I had to educate a few of them. I told them even if you are wrong about saying we look like we lost weight when we haven't; it still makes us feel good.

Ladies have you experienced this?

Men, whats the deal???:confused_smile:

I'm going along with IndioGirl on this one - I think in this one of those cases where PC comes into play. The men may simply be afraid of how you (or others) would take it if they were overheard saying something. Some people are very sensitive about possible sexual harassment issues and there are women in this great PC society of ours who would find any such comment offensive. Personally, I will eat up ANY compliment, from men or women. NOTICE ME!!!! TELL ME I'M LOSING WEIGHT AND LOOKING GOOD!!!! :biggrin: :wink2:

They are probably all afraid of being accused of sexual harassment! I'm serious. I think men are afraid to say much of anything to women in the workplace other than "nice day!" It has gotten so crazy.

As a guy, it probably is 50% afraid to say anything even vaguely as to how your body looks due to harrassment policy, and 50% afraid that any comment like that is a back-handed compliment, at best (ie, you look good now = you looked terrible before).

HI, Congrats on losing the weight. As a guy, trust me we notice! But we don't say a thing out of fear. It is too bad but we don't say a thing about a womans appearance.... Well I tell my DW that she is beautiful.

I really do think its the sexual harrassment thing. Everytime a guy at work has commented on my weight loss, its been prefaced with "I know I'm not supposed to say this, but". I try to tell them, you can compliment women on the way they look without being vulgar!

If i notice a weight change in someone, I have no problem saying something. I find for me it is easier to say" have you lost weight?" and if they say yes, i congraduated them, and if they say no I simply say" boy it looks like you are and walk away" so to not make to much of deal out of it. If they have not loss weight it still makes them feel good to think that someone thinks hey have. My wife will sometimes tell me, her girl friend has lost weight and to make sure I tell her I notice the change. She has me trained very well. I think you can compalment someone without make it sound sexual.

Another guy here -- and I'll tell you that I won't say ANYTHING, negative or positive, about a female co-worker's appearance. It's not safe to do so, and I like having my job. I'm sorry that you're disappointed that people aren't saying anything, but given the 20 years of hammering that the men have taken in the workplace and the courts, you should not be surprised.

you can compliment women on the way they look without being vulgar!:confused_smile:

I see what you're saying, NukeChik, but being vulgar is all in the perception of the woman being complimented. I work with some women that could take a pseudo-vulgar compliment (made in a joking manner) and I work with some that will take offense at the mildest compliment. No big deal in personal life, but at work......better safe than sorry.

I agree with you on that. I'm not one of those, but I know a lot of women who are. Better safe than sorry, thats for sure!

Some people can take the most innocent, insignificant, well-intended statement and turn it into something offensive by their interpretation of it. It is really a shame our society has come to that point.

Some people can take the most innocent, insignificant, well-intended statement and turn it into something offensive by their interpretation of it. It is really a shame our society has come to that point.

Yeah, no doubt.. I complimented a guys shoes at work once and he told my boss that made him "uncomfortable".. and all I said was "I like your boots"..

Yeah, no doubt.. I complimented a guys shoes at work once and he told my boss that made him "uncomfortable".. and all I said was "I like your boots"..

I always think of Omarosa from her first appearance on the Apprentice when a situation like that comes up. Someone made a commnet to her about "the pot calling the kettle black". She told the person she was insulted by their racial remark. WTF???

They are probably all afraid of being accused of sexual harassment! I'm serious. I think men are afraid to say much of anything to women in the workplace other than "nice day!" It has gotten so crazy.

I love the office where I work. Most of us tease each other mercilessly!

I know that I will get comments once I lose weight, and I'm looking forward to it. It helps that three of the guys are body builders, one of whom holds a weightlifing record.

I work in a law enforcement office as well. While the officers that I'm very close to have said I looked nice, (I don't wear a uniform) most have said nothing. Personally, I think that sexual harassment information has been shoved at them for several years now, and now they are super sensitive to getting reprimanded for it. Female officers tend to get the rotten end of the stick, and many complaints are made. Most don't want to get in trouble or go there anymore. They don't want it misconstrued.

I can tell you that many companies require the harrassment training, and it strongly advises against saying anything about how a coworker looks. You're told not to say "you look very nice today" or "I really like that shirt", etc. Where I work, they really laid it out about not complementing anyone's appearance. So most men I know (myself included) would just avoid the topic completely. The consequences are far too severe, loss of job and financial ruin, if something goes wrong.

Comments wouldn't need to be vulgar or anything to be considered harrasment. It could really be comments like "you look very nice today" that can be used for a harrassment case. No warning needs to be given to the "offender" either, of course, so it's just far too risky. Honestly, I don't want to be that personal with coworkers anyway. Even if there aren't any harrassment problems, intentions are easily misunderstood. Suppose you said "you look very nice today", and the receiver of the comment thought that you perhaps were interested in them. That can lead to rejection and problems with the work relationship. No, this hasn't happened to me (thank god, how awkward that would be!)