Stupid people and their stupid opinions

spoodles · April 7, 2008

Everytime someone new finds out about my lap band surgery, they are always saying things like...."Umm...You knooooow thats not an easy surgery...are you sure you want to go through with it?" Yes you dumb shit...I am 4 days away from surgery. Dont you think I've done my research???? They always act like because I'm fat I must be stupid. One person told me I was taking the "easy" way out. I told her, So what do you care?? I'm not hurting anyone, so piss off!!! Sorry about the language, I'm just venting. You guys are the only normal people in this world.:purplebananna:

faithmd · April 7, 2008

This is going to sound bad, but STOP TELLING PEOPLE!!!!

Well, it worked for me. I chose not to tell anyone because a) I didn't want people trying to talk me out of it, :purplebananna: I didn't want the "food police" looking ant my every bite, c) I dind't want everyone asking how much have I lost, d) I didn't want people thinking they were helping by giving me suggestions on how to diet, e) I know people mean well, but I didn't want people saying, shouldn't you be losing faster?

And a littany of other reasons...

But that's just me. Everyone is different and everyone is entitled to tell who they want, what they want. I just chose to walk this path alone other than a very few select people and this board. And I've been gone from here for weeks and weeks.

I truly believe people do mean well (for the most part), but I have to agree with you, don't they think I've done my research? No, it's NOT the "easy way out," nothing about losing weight is "easy." I challenge anyone to do this and say it's simple or easy.

Pffffthththt! People!

kathystrick · April 7, 2008

Faith, I TOTALLY agree with you!! I also have been very selective about who I tell and have only let a handful in on my "secret". I am just not up to the task of defending my decision to everyone under the sun, when it is really no one's buiness when I am doing it, why I am doing it instead of just trying "one more diet", or anything else for that matter! I already feel like people scrutinize my every meal because I am fat, so why give them one more reason to look at my plate and pass judgement of me?

Gee - sound slike I am harboring more anger about this than I realized! LOL

Jeen423 · April 7, 2008

I have run down the list of my friends and aquaintances and picked only a few to tell. I have one friend in particular that I know would say something inane like "why don't you try such and such a diet?".

I just don't want those kinds of reactions. Also, I don't want to be the Lap-Band Lady. The reason I'm doing this is to get out from under being identified by my weight issues. I just want to do what I have to do and get on with the parts of my life I have lost to obesity!

faithmd · April 7, 2008

And Jana, may you have a fast, easy recovery with little pain!

Good luck!

BandedInNY · April 7, 2008

I too am very selective on who I tell. I found that since being on the liquid I have told a few more people. I also find myself telling people that this is not a cure all. If I don't diet and exercise it won't work. I don't know why I feel I have to explain myself. I have choose not the tell the one ignorant man I work that explained that all fat people need to do it duct tape our mouths shut. I did however want to reach across the table punch him in his mouth to help him drop a few.

Alesha

gisellehuet · April 7, 2008

I only told a selective group of people... evryone else was told I was having some cysts removed thats why I had surgery.... The people I told are totally supportive but I have found out that some of my friendss judge me and said comments that really hurt. So I decided that whatever they said I was not going to listen. This was my decision, I am doing it for me, and I don't care whatever people think. About this being the easy way out... well let see: It took me a year to get approved. During that year I had to try to prove my dieting failures, I had to have a psych eval that made me go deep in the issues that make me eat, i analyzed my life and my relationship with food, i was frustrated once more for not being able to loose weight with regular diet (despite that that proved the point), the stress of all the doctor visits, and what if the insurance did not approved it, all let to a depression I had to deal with. I don't think it is the easy way out. And still now after the surgery we have to carefully watch what you eat, excercise, deal with annoying people, and especially before you have a fill... deal with the hunger!!! ITS NOT EASY!!! The band its just a tool to help us in this journey about changing our lives... because once you decide to have the band we change our lives and our relationship with food forever...

Gone4Now · April 7, 2008

I'm the opposite...I tell everyone. If they give me a problem (which, for the most part hasn't been an issue) then I ask them if they've done their research. The answer is always "NO, but I have a friend who's mother...." Yada, yada...

I tell people everything anyway...I'm always the way TMI person! :purplebananna: I think if I had a problem with people's responses, I'd stop telling them.

It does get annoying with the, "Can you eat that?" questions, but I know they're just curious. I enjoy educating.

Now, I've had several people come to me and say, "A friend wants this done. What do you suggest?" So, if by telling people, and handling the stupidity that comes with it, I can help others consult their doctors about it - then so be it. I love my band and can't help but share it.

losingjusme · April 7, 2008

im a way TMI person too (all you have to do is read my posts here / blog to know that... :cool:

i told pretty much everyone (some people - like my parents - didnt know until after though... after i had dropped 60 pounds and knew this was goign to work... i didnt want it to be another 'failed diet'... :purplebananna:)

Hastings · April 7, 2008

I told everyone, pretty much.

Someone asked me if my kids agreed, I said "I don't know, I didn't ask them." lol

No one has given me grief. It's not like being fat was a secret and suddenly losing weight is a secret either.

Everyone has a different comfort level.

Maya314 · April 7, 2008

I hate the easy way out thing... It's anything but easy. I mean if people think that getting needles poked in your belly regularly, going on a liquid diet ALOT due to fills etc, showing your stretchmarks to cute Dr's on their internship so they can learn how a fill is done they have another thing coming, I have to research everything that goes into my mouth, EVERYTHING is it too Gummy? Will I PB if I eat that? Crap I forgot to eat the protien first, I suck at this... OMG I can't chew gum for fear that I might swallow it, I have to watch the clock a few dozen times a day so that I can drink Water when I'm supposed to and not when I'm not. People are full of crap if they think this is the easy way, the lap band is actually the most disciplined way of all of the surgeries I think, it's just a tool, you're the one that puts in all the work. Don't let what other people say get you down, just add them to the "Ignorant" pile and feel sorry for them for being idiots. Faithmd said it right when she said.. "Pffffthththt! People!" haha.. love that... Anyway, someone else on here said and I always try and remember when I get the feeling I want to tell someone about it.. "Once you tell.. you can't untell.." that manages to keep my mouth shut.

Good luck in your surgery, Keep us posted!

BabyNicole · April 7, 2008

I hear ya. :thumbup: My friend George was giving me a hard time and I said in a very polite tone of voice, "Hey, thanks a lot for being a good friend and supporting me in my decision." He kinda looked shocked I said that. He then said, "Well, then, if you think it's good for your body, then do it." He said it in a supportive way (not sarcastic)...so I guess he got the hint! :drool:

My true feelings about surgery and...if people make you feel upset by what they say, you may be having second thoughts subconsciously and/or second guessing your choice. If you can "shut them up" (nicely or not) then you are strong in your AGB decision. :thumbup: But, that's MY opinion. :Dancing_wub:

April 7, 2008

I've kept it to myself for the most part. Other than close family and my boss - that is it. Not because I'm afraid they'll talk me out of it - I really don't give a damn about what most people think about it, but honestly I haven't said a word because I really don't want to hear the negativity. In my personal experiences the majority of the public is ignorant about LapBand...I had an uncle this weekend ask me, "Have you really thought hard about this? and the proceeds into a long story about a co-workers wife having it done and infection and blah blah blah and the risk I'm taking to look good". I don't like defending myself and told him flat out - "I have a BMI of 42 and weigh over 250 pounds, how healthy is that? I'm NOT doing this for vanity, I'm doing this to live." I have gotten winded again in typing - I guess I needed to vent a bit too.

ima_sundevil · April 7, 2008

I've been lucky that most people I've told have been very supportive. I've only come across one person (a physician's assistant to the cardiologist who was analyzing my stress test results) who was a total asshat about it. "Are you suuuuuure you want to do this?" "Have you actually tried any diets first?" two days before surgery! She got the smack-down when the good doctor came in and congratulated me for being the "perfect candidate" and "taking life by the horns," that this surgery was the best possible thing for me. He said all this in front of her and her face got quite red. Oh, SNAP. :Dancing_wub:

spoodles · April 7, 2008

:Dancing_wub: Thanks for everyones replies....Yeah, the bad part is That: IM NOT THE ONE TELLING PEOPLE. lol.....It's momma and hubby and the people who are very supportive of me that tell other people...They are excited for me. So I guess that makes up for all the negative assholes.:thumbup: