I came to the board to see if anyone could offer assistance on loosing too much weight.

I shared my experience and my desire and BOOM! Some took offense, as evident by some of the posters.

Never did I say what others should weigh....or how others look. I said "me" and "I".

Wish I could delete a thread I started as there is vulgar language in some of the posts.

But for everyone...I, me said I didn't want to be less than a size 6 because of knobby knees and such. Me, I....didn't say anything about anyone else.

Thanks for all the support and advice.

Loosing too much weight..... up the calories a tad because you could be like me....borderline losing...if there is such a thing. Just some candy at Easter held my weight. So, an extra glass of juice or some extra fruit will solve my problem.

Edited March 26, 200818 yr by GraceUtah

What I got from Grace's post was that she feels America's ideal of what is attractive and healthy looking is not necessarily in jive with the rest of the world. I also think that she was saying that on her, a size six is too small because she feels she her bones stick out too much and that is an unattractive look for her. And that may be very true for her. I have never met her, I do not know how tall she is, I do not know her body build and bone structure. While a size six or smaller may be very healthy and attractive for one type of body build, it may very well make someone of another type body build look too small and unhealthy.

Just because she chooses to not get down to something smaller than a six does not mean she is choosing to be unhealthy. I am 41 years old. I don't anticipate even coming close to a size 6. I am looking for a 10 or 12 and I will be thrilled, and that will be a healthy weight/size for my age and body build.

I don't think any of us should criticize anyone for what they choose to set their weight goal to. The fact is, anything is healthier than where we were when we started, and just by losing a little weight, we are adding years to our lives.

Lets remember to be supportive of one another and not critical of each other's choices.

Shortgal, Grace did say "less than size 6 is, well, not attractive". If that's not a generalisation and a downright insult to many, I dont know what is.

Its not the issue of not wanting to lose any more at all. Its the way people feel its OK to say that thin is not attractive. I just happen to be a person who is a) tall and :thumbup: doesnt naturally carry much muscle even though I work out. That equals long and skinny. I prefer to think graceful and elegant, athletic too, personally but I'm a big girl, I can take being called unnattractive by someone I may very well consider short and dumpy. The difference is if I said so here it would cause a riot.

Things do come across badly in writing and we all have the right to our opinions and need to realise that its not always meant in the spirt its said. But its better not to say it! Just say that you're worried about losing too much weight, not that thin is unattractive. I cant stand a full face of make up on anyone, I think it makes them look like a slut and on women over 40 I think its a pathetic attempt to look young that actually looks revolting. Blonde hair looks tarty to me if its not natural. I hate fake plastic tits. I hate long red fingernails. I've probably just insulted 2/3 of our readers right there. Those are all my opinions, and its best not to voice them I find. Because there's no way I can say "oh, but I'm only talking about me"!!!

Its not about the issue of what anyone wants to weigh. Its about how its always framed in terms of "skinny is ugly". I hate that Americanised glossy look with a passion (god, why did Nicole Kidman transform herself from gorgeous Aussie girl with red hair and freckles into a superfreak?, which I probably just made abundantly clear in the paragraph above. But bones showing is quite normal, healthy and not some fearful anorexic obsession. If you dont want to go that far, then dont, but dont feel free to insult those that do. When I'm underweight, I'll take the criticism, as it is now, I'm a normal, healthy weight and I find having that called obsessive, addiction transfer or not attractive is bloody rude.

Edited March 26, 200818 yr by Jachut

I am 5'8 inches tall. My surgeon and I set my weight goal at 185. That puts me in a size 14 most likely tight. I am now 213 and I am in a size 16 and quite pleased. I really do believe that weight comes down to individual preference. While I am still considered overweight at 185 I am totally stoked at the notion that I use to weight 320 and 185 is a nice size for me. So basically it comes down to comfort. If Grace isn't happy in a size 4 then she should definitley gain a few lbs, even if it may make her overweight on the BMI chart. Love the body you are in. That is what I have learned as a Bandster. Julie

Its like talking to a brick wall in these threads!

Nobody has an issue with what ANYBODY wants to weigh. The issue is with the seeming social acceptance of calling thinner people ugly and unattractive.

And I agree, everyone is different and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And for me, thin isn't attractive.

So, for me, when bones tend to protrude...not pretty. And for me that's a size 6... I can't get any thinner or else my collarbone and knees are going to look funny.

Tarring everyone with the same brush when she's talking about herself??

Ok, just "for me" people who dont want to get to a healthy weight are stuffed in the head.

"For me" a BMI of 29 is fat.

"For me" people who dont exercise are lazy.

Now nobody could POSSIBLY take offence to that, huh?

Because I"m only talking about myself right?

Ok, just "for me" people who dont want to get to a healthy weight are stuffed in the head.

"For me" a BMI of 29 is fat.

"For me" people who dont exercise are lazy.

Now nobody could POSSIBLY take offence to that, huh?

Because I"m only talking about myself right?

Maybe until you got to that lazy part. But I can own it, so no argument here. :sneaky:

Its like talking to a brick wall in these threads!

Nobody has an issue with what ANYBODY wants to weigh. The issue is with the seeming social acceptance of calling thinner people ugly and unattractive.

Why would that be surprising? There has been a social acceptance of calling fat people ugly and unattractive, too.

So is the answer we should all become 5 feet 5 and 125 pounds? Should we all become blond, too? should we all become exactly the same with identical BMI.

I would think that previously fat people that have become thin, would be able to laugh those comments off, realizing that the same people that thought you were once too fat, now think you're too thin! Oh the irony!

Please yourself, not anyone else, that is what Grace is trying to do.

I really don't know why we spend so much time worrying about what other people think. I doubt Nicole Kidman loses much sleep becasue you don't like how she looks. Yet you find it socially acceptable to state you don't like how she looks. Opinions! We all have them, should be offered carefully and only when asked for them.

"me thinks thou does protest too much"

GraceUtah is a wonderful, kind hearted person. She never accepted a single penny for her larger clothes, she gave them to me. She would never want to hurt anyone's feelings. She knows what she wants and can vent it here. sometimes we all don't agree with each other, but that's why we all don't look alike!

I'm closing this thread.