Hi, I am feeling very depressed at the moment, all my positive feelings towards the band have been squashed by my family and friends. They all think I am taking the 'easy' route and that I am being lazy about my weight.

I am nervous about the band... I'm sure everyone is but I 'TOLD' my brain I was having it done and that was that. Then all my family and friends started plagueing me with doubts.

As soon as I got the date for my surgery my family started having nervous breakdowns and put every negative possibilty in front of me. For example they keep going on about the general anesthetic and it could make me like a vegtable or I could have a stroke, heart attack or blood clots.

I am 21 5ft 15 stone and I don't smoke so I am sure that reduces the chances of any complications. Plus I am using the biggest private healthcare provider in the UK (BMI healthcare) who have been fantastic so far.

I know my life is on hold because of my weight issue and I know that if I lost all my weight I would be out there in the clubs and doing normal 21 year old things. It's just everyone around me is negative about it is making me consider cancelling the whole thing.

I need some positive feedback!!!! This site is absolutley excellent.

I would of thought my Mum would have been supportive because she is also big but she is not, in fact she won't even talk about it anymore.

Has anyone had any problems with the surgery or anasthetic (i know this affects everyone differently)

Thanks for reading this very depressing post!!!

Lauren xx

Lauren, none of us go into WLS easily and believe me it is not the lazy or easy route as with everyone the journey is different and can bring it's own obstacles. With many it can be a breeze....but work at it and the results are always amazing.

I don't know what the state of your health is now, but I can assure you if you carry on without doing something about your weight, that it will deteriorate and you will regret not having done something about it sooner. The band for me saved my life. I was housebound and could hardly walk. I had to have everything done for me including having my backside wiped for me and my work had retired me due to my failing health.....now if I could have had the op years ago to have avoided this I would have done....but at least I am alive and 12 stones lighter with another 5 to go.

It hasn't been easy (was in the beginning but my head lets me down) but I am back on track now. It seems to me your family are scared for you as well as maybe a bit jealous. But if you explain to them that in time you will need surgery for something and the anaesthetic will be more dangerous then if you haven't lost the weight - remember these surgeons and anaesthetists are used to dealing with people our size so know what they are doing.....put your faith in them and God and I'm sure you'll be fine.

I wish you all the luck and love in the world.

Hey Lauren. Family is obviously very important and their support is important too but this is YOUR decision. If you feel this surgery is in YOUR best interest then don't let ANYONE take you off your path.

As far as taking the easy way out. They just plain do not understand how much effort will be required of you following this surgery. It is not the easy way out. What you eat counts...this is not the bypass. You will have to make the correct food choices and eat appropriate serving sizes for the rest of your life plus you will have to exercise to make this work. Most people WILL NOT lose weight of any successful degree with a band if they do not change their lifestyle. I'm not trying to get blasted by any bypassers out there because all WLS requires effort, but next to the bypass there is no comparison between the two in terms of the amount of dedication and effort it will take you to be successful with a band. If you were looking for the easy way you would have chosen a different surgery option.

You just need to do some soul searching and decide what's right for you. If obeying your family is what's right for you then that's fine. If going through with it is right for you then that's fine too. I'm just trying to remind you that you are NOT taking an easy route by having surgery and if you feel this is in your best interest then I say go for it.

Let family and friends experience whatever emotions they may have as a result. Explain, if you like, that you need their support or acceptance but that you are dedicated to this process and just hope they will be there for you. They are probably scared for you, maybe a little jealous and perhaps even envious. I've experienced these reactions from others along my journey as well. But, that's their problem to deal with because you've got your own to handle!

You've been given some excellent advice, all I can say is that I wish I had this option when I was younger. You are so young and have so much life ahead of you - remember this is something that you are doing for you.

whatever you choose to do - put yourself first. If you choose to cancel, are you going to regret it? Eventually feeling more angry with your family? It would be great to have the support of your family, but you need to make sure that you put YOURSELF FIRST and do whatever is right for you - not everyone else.

If you choose to go forward tell your family that you would like their support and that you would hope they would support you through this. But, that if they can't support you that they should respect your choice.

Good luck to you whichever way you choose.

Don't let your family dictate your life to you. You will definitely live to regret that BIGTIME if you do. General anesthetic? Uh, I cannot count the number of times I have had that....no problems....zero....nada. People who automatically equate that with permanent disability or a death sentence are uneducated at best. It's not like you are going to some back alley doctor for this. You pick a highly experienced surgeon who has done preferably hundreds if not thousands of these procedures. You put yourself in capable professional hands. Thank your family for their concern and let them know you have made a decision for yourself, would appreciate their suppot if they can give it. If not, you are sorry they cannot support you and you will continue on by yourself in this endeavor. If they continue to berate you for this you need to request that if they cannot be supportive of your decision then you need to be around positive people at this time and you would prefer that they not harp on the negative about this, and then shut the conversation down. Period. It's the old "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." If you are serious in your decision, it is your right. You are an adult. It is YOUR body. Do not hand your power over to someone else to dictate your actions.

I agree that you should not let your family dictate YOUR life. However the doubts you are having may be more about how you feel. Do you think YOU are ready or is your family giving you an easy out not to have surgery?

Surgery was the best thing I ever did for myself, ever. I can tell you it is NOT THE EASY WAY OUT. If it is, than I took the wrong road. It is not easy, worth it but NOT EASY!

If you want this, no matter what anyone else says you should do it!

surgery is not an easy way out. Your family sounds like it has its won agenda and your health and well being is not at the top of their list of concerns. You could have complications, yes but what about the complications of being obese?

You are an adult and have to make your own decisions. Your family can't live your life for you. My family wasn't wild about my decision either, but I had to do this for me. Good luck.

I WISH there was an "easy" way out. I'd be all over that in a heartbeat! Geez-- what's wrong with easy anyway? Shoot, driving the car to work is a lot easier than walking, but I see an awful lot of people doing it...

milton5a: Thought you might want to hear from someone your own age. I am 23 years old and was banded May 31st 2007. Its been 7 months and I have lost 77lbs. I still have a ways to go but it has been life changing and in a good way. I consider myself an athlete. I exercise all the time and I love it. I am physically able to keep up with my friends and I am on my way towards really enjoying life and my 20s. The idea of a social life before was a laugh and now it is a something I am enjoying.

As far as the anesthesia and surgery, it all went great. Our age is really an advantage in a surgery situation. Now that I have lost so much weight I really feel like a 23 year old and not 40+ and invisible. I am not invisible any longer and my confidence and self esteem gets better with every pound I drop.

I still have some emotional issues with my weight but I am working hard to leave the "fat girl" behind and embrace my new skinny "beautiful" self.

This is your decision and you should do what ever is best for you and what ever will make you happy. Your family will come around. This was the "best" decision I ever made and I would do it a million times over.

Good Luck!

Wow. I WISH this was "EASY!!!" What a load. Don't listen to that unless it comes from somebody that has actually HAD the surgery. Having invasive abdominal surgery to lose weight is EASY??? That doesn't even make sense.

I have to watch what I eat. And it's not just counting calories for me. My body is being really resistant. Even if I stay under 900 calories per day, I don't lose weight. I have to take two meals away and make them Slim-Fast shakes instead. Does that sound EASY? It sucks. I look forward to when I can get this weight off so that I can eat 3 normal meals per day rather than one regular meal and two shakes.

This is not the easiest way I have ever lost weight. The only time losing weight was "easy" for me was when I was on Atkins the very first time in HS because I lost the weight very quickly and only had about 40 lbs to lose. The weight dropped off in a couple of months. That was the end of easy dieting for me.

The only difference I have this time losing weight as opposed to other times when I did it the "hard" way (rolling my eyes!!) is that this time, I know it'll be "easier" to KEEP OFF. It is NOT easier to GET off. It'll be easier to KEEP off. Is the point of losing weight not to keep the weight off? Or do they truly expect you to yo-yo for the rest of your life?

Your body is going to fight and fight HARD to keep that weight - that's its famine storage. It's not an easy battle EVER. You know what, this PBS special actually explained A LOT to me about what fat is and how it relates to the body. VERY interesting and maybe you can get some in your family to watch it so they can understand your struggle: FAT: What No One Is Telling You - Watching: Chapter 1 | PBS

You have to do what makes YOU happy. The possibility of dying from the anesthesia is incredibly low compared to the likelihood of suffering from disease (and possibly dying) related to obesity. You have to take a look at what would make YOU happy. You can't please all of the people all of the time. Take this time in your life to choose something to make YOU happy.

For the anesthesia question, no - no complications whatsoever. I had about 2 seconds of nausea when they wanted me to drink some Water after the surgery and that was it.

Hi, I am feeling very depressed at the moment, all my positive feelings towards the band have been squashed by my family and friends. They all think I am taking the 'easy' route and that I am being lazy about my weight.

I am nervous about the band... I'm sure everyone is but I 'TOLD' my brain I was having it done and that was that. Then all my family and friends started plagueing me with doubts.

As soon as I got the date for my surgery my family started having nervous breakdowns and put every negative possibilty in front of me. For example they keep going on about the general anesthetic and it could make me like a vegtable or I could have a stroke, heart attack or blood clots.

I am 21 5ft 15 stone and I don't smoke so I am sure that reduces the chances of any complications. Plus I am using the biggest private healthcare provider in the UK (BMI healthcare) who have been fantastic so far.

I know my life is on hold because of my weight issue and I know that if I lost all my weight I would be out there in the clubs and doing normal 21 year old things. It's just everyone around me is negative about it is making me consider cancelling the whole thing.

I need some positive feedback!!!! This site is absolutley excellent.

I would of thought my Mum would have been supportive because she is also big but she is not, in fact she won't even talk about it anymore.

Has anyone had any problems with the surgery or anasthetic (i know this affects everyone differently)

Thanks for reading this very depressing post!!!

Lauren xx

I wish I could of had this surgery in my 20's. I went through all my adult life morbidly obese. Being left out of all social life, only 2 dates and both were "blind dates'. I've never had the self confidence to participate in life and all that goes with it. Thankfully, my family has always been there for me. I've tried just about every diet known to man, had some success with some of them, but nothing long-term. I feel like I "missed the bus" and life had passed me by. Don't wait and have regrets. I do, but am learning to live with what is and getting on with my life. The lapband was the best present I could give myself and I feel like I've been reborn. I'm not too old to still have a life and do all those things that I couldn't because of my weight. Your family will get on board once they see how this will change your life for the better. Good Luck!

Thank you for all your positive replys they have made me so much happier it's unbelievable! I am going to have some real thinking time now on my own and come to a descision. I want to be slim and healthy so much and nothing else works!! This site is brilliant and it is so helpful when you get to speak to normal people who have or are considering having the band fitted.

Peace & Love

Lauren x

To hell with everyone else's opinion. All that matters is what you want. I can tell you that all of the people who were initially cynical about the surgery (especially my husband and mother) are in awe of how not easy it has been. Every day they see how hard I am working and both have completely changed their minds on surgery being "easy".

And even if it was easy then so what. Why the hell would someone want to do something the hard way if there is an easy way that works available?

Trust me it isn't easy. But I understand, some of my extended family thought I was too... but I am not doing it for them! You have to do what makes you happy and what is good for you. What I did was send my whole family an email and told them how important this was to me, my current health problems due to my weight and how i was thankful for all of their encouragement and support (even though they weren't giving me much). Let them know in a nice way to shut up! It is the best thing I have done.. Easy... no! But worth it!

I am 47 and just about to be banded, and I really really wish I had done it years ago! My daughter is 21 and also overweight, though not as big as me, and when she graduates from university this summer I am going to suggest to her she gets it done now, while she is young. Surely she will recover better at 22 than I will 25 years older! Go for it, find someone who is positive in your family or friends to support you through it, or go to a support group and get your support from others who really know what you are going through.

Do what is right for you, not for anyone else - it is your life and you want to be living and enjoying it a long time!

Debbie