I post here for advice, encouragement and always get such uplifting/helpful comments. I just need this to get out to my bari-fam!

I am 15months post op. I have done well, got down to my goal weight fairly quickly, made leaps on my fitness journey and just pretty proud of how far I have come. Lately, body dysmorphia is really rearing its ugly head and I am not dealing with it well. I am punishing myself with binge eating...All of April has just sucked a$$ for me. I am maintaining, continuing my workouts, my days are great then I go home at night, I grab a few chips, leads to some sweets, leads to some bread and butter, ect....do I eat a ton of it? No but I don't feel good when I eat it. Last week, I went on a week long drinking fiasco- I used to drink...a lot pre-surgery- Last night I ate Jack in the box tacos.. you know those disgusting delicious mini tacos and my feel like garbage today! I am letting my emotional eating get the best of me and I am struggling to get back.

I woke up at 5 walked on my treadmill at 10incline 3.8speed but at the end of the day you cannot exercise a shitty diet. I wake up every single day and tell myself okay new day lets get back on track. And every single day I just cannot seem to get my ish together when I am at home. I am getting rid of all the bad snacks and getting everyone on the healthy train. I am trying and I am so terrified that I will get back to 300lbs again. Looking at the mirror, I see how big I am, I see the tummy, I see the hanging skin, I see everything negative when in reality I probably look fine.

Not sure what I am looking for outta this post, but I needed to get it out and not hide my food struggles because I did that and it lead to me hiding food and getting up to 300lbs.

I weighed myself out of curiosity. I wanted to give it an entire week but I couldn't wait! I lost 5.6lbs! I don't think all of it was fat, but my body was so inflamed. I can tell a difference! I am 6lbs away from my pre-op BA surgery!

Looks like you have had a lot of conversation in this thread. I found it interesting to read. Thanks for sharing so we could learn.

Hey girl!!! So how are you doing now? Are things better? I've been away from here for a good while, but now that I'm back, I wanted to jump on your thread and tell you how proud of you I am that you saw what was happening, you were honest with yourself how things got to where they were, and you worked to fix them. That takes guts and a lot of hard work.

@SleeveToBypass2023 welcome back!! was wondering where you were!! I had to dig DEEP but I am back on track! I lost my determination for a min, but I have talked to some friends who are on this fitness journey and it figured out what the root of all of it was. I was scared. After the weightloss, the breast augmentation and all the things- the negative and positive attention was freaking me out so I was sabotaging myself, trying to hide behind food. But I am better than that. Just keep repeating my "why" and I got my ish together and I feel much better!!!! How are you doing?!