I am 39 years old and have been in a relationship with a narcissistic 50 year old who doesn’t work because he chooses to, for 7 years. He does always have dinner ready and the house clean when I get home from work. Our relationship isn’t on the best of terms and when we argue he calls me fat all the time. He feels like he’s right all the time, he puts others down, blames me for everything etc. This year my company switched insurances and now the surgery is covered!!! I’m so excited. But, I have a feeling this relationship will go from bad to worse when i lose the weight. He said he would be supportive but I don’t know. I’m to my wits end almost and thinking of kicking him out of my home that I own. He’s verbally abusive to me and does it in front of my kids, one of which is his. I don’t know if it’s my low self esteem that won’t let me do it or what!! I’m just afraid things will get worse for me after the surgery.

Sabotage

Abusers (emotional, physical or both) lacking control of their own lives, target people with low self-esteem to feed their need to feel power over another. As you lose weight and gain more self-confidence, he will feel he is losing control over you and the mental abuse will escalate. He will sabotage your journey at every turn fearing you may realize you have better options! What exactly is he bringing to "the table"? It appears you are completely supporting this man and providing a roof over his head for the meager price of cleaning and dinner on the table. A lazy man is bad enough but a lazy, abusive man is nothing more than a parasitic piece of trash. You deserve so much better.

@tiffanyb12211 its been a year out! how are you >?!