OK, so life was great pre-band..with the exception of being fat...and having bad health because of it..but now...oh now..i've got many other things that i need to add to the list:

i was a self pay. financially we determined that we could afford it. we are middle class $70k/or more average a year...so we aren't rolling in it, but we are doing better than we could be. So, yeah, we thought of course we can afford the band, why couldn't we.

well, let me tell you a $400 a month payment is rough to adjust to..especially at christmas time. and add to that the fact that i NOW WEIGHT 3 MORE LBS THAN I DID PRE-OP. everytime i make that stupid payment..i think in my head..what in the hell did i do..i just spent $15,000 to be reminded every day that i am a failure and i am fat, and now i am paying for it literally.

ok, so that is the financial part. everyone has their problems right, so that is no big deal. well, dh and i are falling on hard times financially and i am blaming myself, and he is trying to work more. we used to have enough money in our "bill" account to cover the bills as they came in and to have a month's worth of reserves in case one of us got sick. that way, we didn't have to do the pay check to pay check thing. we have our own individual savings and spending accounts too. well...we've got zilch right now, and i've resorted to finishing up x-mas on cc's.

add to that-yesterday i found out that my brother defaulted on a car loan that i signed for him. i have perfect credit...not bragging..but never been late..and i work in finance so..this is a particularly important thing to me. he didn't even bother to tell me, so i get a letter in the mail yesterday that he is almost 30 days late and a payment has to be made TODAY to keep it from being reported (note: previous mention of us being BROKE).

OK..so all of that is i am sure circumstanstial..but it is band related. dh and i both missed a week of work without pay when i had surgery. i then have had some days that i have missed in addition due to pains &/or complications. so..that means even less pay. .......again due to the band...then add sick days for problems i had before the band with migraines and fibro.

ok..so you get it..money is a problem and it causes extreme stress. well because of it dh and i are both barely on good speaking terms (we aren't admitting that is what the problem is, but i know it is). i'm sleeping on the couch, and i swear that if one more person yells at me or says something negative I'M GOING TO RUN AWAY!!!!!!

so i'm stressed..my son is going through a bratty stage..dh and i are having problems, and i'm getting nothing but bitches and moans and complaints and cynical remarks every single direction that i turn.

ok...so that is the family related band problems..now i'm taking it to a more personal level:

1. did i mention that i now weigh 3 more lbs than i did pre-op..and i can't button pants that i wore for 6 months prior to surgery

2. i look 6 months pregnant and i have this huge distended abdomen that will not recede

3. i pass more gass than i would ever care to admit. burps come out mid sentence sometimes, and i have these long grotesque 10 second burps that everyone around me can hear even though i am trying to do it under my breath. then..add to that the constant cloud of methane (is that what it is?) that is hovering behind everywhere that i walk. before the band dh had never ever heard me...you know..pass gass...now he hears it like 20 times a night...gross....and it makes me smell.

4. i have no restriction..i can eat what i want..and the tremendous amount of stress that i am under sends me straight to crap food...cheese dip..candy...cheese ball..you name it

5. everyone keeps asking me if i wasted money on surgery and why am i not losing weight

6. i missed my 2nd fill because i had a bowel obstruction, and they can't seem to find TIME to fit me in.

7. i'm having migraines like crazy..(due to stress i'm sure)..and i can't take anything for it because it doesn't work..or i can't swallow it.

8. my work is threatening to lay me off at the end of the year due to absences even though i filed FMLA.

there are other things....but i've gone on enough. all of this is causing me to have serious issues with my band. if i could rip it out myself i would, and then i would beat the hell out of a wall or something with it.

I HATE MY BAND....

(i hope this will pass, and i already feel better from venting....i had too...i don't feel like i can tell anyone face to face because i am whining..and besides...i don't know any other overweight people with similar issues that i can talk to).

i'm sorry for rambling..thank you for reading...or listening. and if you went through something similar, and found success later..please share. i am in desperate need for inspiration.

Hey bandster2007, how are you doing? Did you get your fill? I had one the same day and definitely have some restriction. I hope life is looking up for you these days..... :confused:

yes, things are better...if i can quit getting these dumb winter colds. lol..it was 23 degrees here on friday and yesterday it was 76. ......that a big difference. darn arkansas weather.

ok. i got my second fill, and when i did he made me tight. i was already sick but getting better. then saturday, i got sick again..fever of 102, body aches, etc. it feels like the flu, but i had a shot. so i wasn't able to keep much down this weekend. liquids were to hard to swallow, i slimed them back up.

so i haven't really been eating crap. for example, yesterday i had a small piece of ham. the rest liquids that i could get in earlier in the day (at night, i feel sicker, so i think my stomach tightens up), then on saturday i had a piece of fish. that is it.

so, as of today i have lost 8 lbs. which is just from me being sick. i am definately tighter though.

how are you doing?

Hi Bandster , I just read your whole thread today and I feel so bad about all you have gone through. I feel sorry for your brother too and I'm sure I would've made the same mistake and co-signed for him. I can't telll you how many times in my 67 years 'ive sacrificed to help someone else out and got bit in the butt for doing so.....But, you know what, I wouldn't change a thing. That's how I am and I like myself. If he gets his act together, you'll know you helped. About the gas:

Be sure you aren't constipated, take gasx or something simular, lay off sugar and artifical sweetners, and make sure you aren't lactose intolerant. The worst thing for me is the sugar alcohols they put in candy etc in place of sugar. Blows me up like a balloon. I wish you luck and hope you feel better by now. Sharon

thank you sharon.

things have calmed down quite a bit since my original post. my brother never did really apologize, but you are right. i was doing it to help..and i don't know that i could have told him no.

as for the gas, i quit having gas about a week ago. oddly it was about the same time that i took a z pack for a chest infection.

thank you for you tips though. i've been drinking the mess out of crystal light, and before i wouldn't even think of drinking aspartame, but i do now...i don't like that i do, but i guess it is better than liquid calories.

I just read your post today and wanted to let you know that I work in the medical field and sometimes phone calls don't work. My suggestion (completely annonymous of course:)) is that you call and if that doesn't work, just show up. Say "I really needed a fill and was in the neighborhood--I was hoping you could fit me in!" 99% of the time they will work you in if you are already standing there--good business! Maybe this will help you for next time or help someone else!

I didn't lose any weight the whole 1st year after surgery. I thought I was doing something wrong until I finally got my surgeon to listen to me. He checked my band under fluro and discovered the tubing from my port to my band was split. When he injected the dye it went everywhere. I ended up having to have surgery again to fix the problem.