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At Lunch at first day of Family Vacation!



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So I'm at a restuarant just drove to another county got an airbnb and now at lunch, now what? Everyone is hungry ready to eat. Our drive consisted of bickering and upset feelings mostly led by me. I told my husband we should charter a boat he said that's not in our budget. But they are okay just eating food. I can't eat food anymore so looking for something else to fill the space as I am feeling extremelyoverwhelmed and sad. This surgery is not for people who live on a budget. Not being able to afford an impromptu trip, or excursions or activity outside of eating while on vacation or even while not. Leaves you feelings EMPTY, MISUNDERSTOOD, and SORRY FOR YOURSELF! I absolutely hate this! I hear on a well deserved vacation and can't even enjoy it. I'm doing everything to fight from crying and I feel on the edge. My family relies on Me for the positive ENERGY if I have a meltdown ot was cause so much issues. [emoji25][emoji25][emoji30] feelings so helpless

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Sorry you are feeling so out of step with your family. Maybe turn meals into a social event for you? you can enjoy the small portions of things at the restaurant and really try to spend the time talking or maybe playing some games around the table? Change it into an advantage for you since you won’t be spending as much time consuming as much. Or go on after meal walks or other low budget adventures.

If there is more to it, I hope you can find the cause and bring it out in the open and deal with what’s upsetting you.

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So I'm at a restuarant just drove to another county got an airbnb and now at lunch, now what? Everyone is hungry ready to eat. Our drive consisted of bickering and upset feelings mostly led by me. I told my husband we should charter a boat he said that's not in our budget. But they are okay just eating food. I can't eat food anymore so looking for something else to fill the space as I am feeling extremelyoverwhelmed and sad. This surgery is not for people who live on a budget. Not being able to afford an impromptu trip, or excursions or activity outside of eating while on vacation or even while not. Leaves you feelings EMPTY, MISUNDERSTOOD, and SORRY FOR YOURSELF! I absolutely hate this! I hear on a well deserved vacation and can't even enjoy it. I'm doing everything to fight from crying and I feel on the edge. My family relies on Me for the positive ENERGY if I have a meltdown ot was cause so much issues. [emoji25][emoji25][emoji30] feelings so helpless
Sent from my SM-G998U using BariatricPal mobile app

Perhaps just talk to them and have good conversations. Enjoy their company. It isn't about food but being together.

I think you should talk to a therapist or doctor. To cause family disruption just because you can't eat and be this upset suggests other deeper issues, either physically, emotionally or mentally. For example, one of my siblings had anger issues and many times it was due to a chemical imbalance.

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Are you in Canada? (Just assuming)
I love Canada!

Just curious where you… there has to be free events going on. Find a festival or something like that? Not sure your kids ages and what not, but there has to be some space in your trip for a variety of activities- not just eating. Sounds like he is being passive aggressive towards you, maybe resenting that you can’t join them in the gluttony.
Sounds rough. Sorry you’re having to deal with this.

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Are you in Canada? (Just assuming)
I love Canada!

Just curious where you… there has to be free events going on. Find a festival or something like that? Not sure your kids ages and what not, but there has to be some space in your trip for a variety of activities- not just eating. Sounds like he is being passive aggressive towards you, maybe resenting that you can’t join them in the gluttony.
Sounds rough. Sorry you’re having to deal with this.
Thank you in the Keys FL

Sent from my SM-G998U using BariatricPal mobile app

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Perhaps just talk to them and have good conversations. Enjoy their company. It isn't about food but being together.

I think you should talk to a therapist or doctor. To cause family disruption just because you can't eat and be this upset suggests other deeper issues, either physically, emotionally or mentally. For example, one of my siblings had anger issues and many times it was due to a chemical imbalance.
Thank you

Sent from my SM-G998U using BariatricPal mobile app

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Sorry you are feeling so out of step with your family. Maybe turn meals into a social event for you? you can enjoy the small portions of things at the restaurant and really try to spend the time talking or maybe playing some games around the table? Change it into an advantage for you since you won’t be spending as much time consuming as much. Or go on after meal walks or other low budget adventures.

If there is more to it, I hope you can find the cause and bring it out in the open and deal with what’s upsetting you.
Thank you, will try next meal

Sent from my SM-G998U using BariatricPal mobile app

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I have always enjoyed eating, and still do but differently. While everyone else is eating plates of food, I am focused on bites of food, usually off their plates. It fosters a great sense of sharing and connection.

You can eat one bite of the absolutely worst food and a more bites of food that fits into your plan with nary an argument to be had. If it's what everyone wants' to do, you can play.

Really, fighting on vacation is a great way to ruin a vacation, especially when you are the cause. You are above living to eat now. But it doesn't mean you can't enjoy eating while you live.

Good luck,

Tek

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Posted (edited)

I hope you have been able to get past this initial upset OP. Lots of things (including our own expectations) need to be reset after surgery. But in the middle of that we need to be alive to the expectations of our families and friends - it isn't and will never be all about us. We have chosen a path, we need to align that path to the paths of our family as best we can. Best of luck sorting this out :91_thumbsup:

Edited by Spinoza

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I have always enjoyed eating, and still do but differently. While everyone else is eating plates of food, I am focused on bites of food, usually off their plates. It fosters a great sense of sharing and connection.
You can eat one bite of the absolutely worst food and a more bites of food that fits into your plan with nary an argument to be had. If it's what everyone wants' to do, you can play.
Really, fighting on vacation is a great way to ruin a vacation, especially when you are the cause. You are above living to eat now. But it doesn't mean you can't enjoy eating while you live.
Good luck,
Tek
Thank you very true

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I am only 3 months out and Haven't stopped enjoying going to restaurants. I usually just share whatever my husband gets (with my input) since I can eat so little - but still very much enjoy the experience. I still get to eat food prepared by someone else! It is just as satisfying as eating at home, except in different surroundings and ambiance. Mind over matter!

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