Hello all!

I just signed up after reading some of your stories and I wanted to become part of this community. I will try not to make my story too lengthy.

I am a 38 year old female, originally from the Midwest, although I have lived quite a few places in my life. Midwest will always be home, though. For almost ten years, I was trapped in an emotionally abusive, sometimes physically abusive marriage with a narcissist wife. I didn't really care about myself or my well-being. During this time, my father - who never had any major ailments in his life - came down with congestive heart failure, fighting for his life with an LVAD for three years... dying in the middle of a restaurant with my mom and their friends.

I am sure you can imagine at this point in my life - I didn't even care if I lived. There were many times I thought about driving my car off of the bridge on the way to work - but I thought of my mom and sister. I couldn't do it to them. My health declined, I had chronic feet issues that led to me finding out I had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis so bad that I had neuropathy in both legs/feet. My weight was in the 260s. Even after my medicine lined out my thyroid levels, I still could not lose weight - this was around December 2017 - also the time I had Achilles repair surgery.

Flash forward - May 2018. I knew I had to get out. I started working out, low carbing... I could only lose around 25lbs on my own, then nothing. No matter what I tried. July, I finally did it. I left with two duffle bags, 100 bucks in my pocket and my truck. I moved in with family - surprisingly all of them being there for me after they all pulled away because of my ex. I then applied for transfers with work because I knew I had to start completely over. I was accepted and moved to the east coast in December 2018.

Since then.. I met and married the absolute love of my life this past summer, June 2020. I was promoted to management with my company. I've paid off all debt from my previous life. I've rediscovered all of my old hobbies and likes. Now, I just had RNY on 4/13/21 to finally take control over the last part of my previous life.. to lose the weight and enjoy the life I deserve completely.

I couldn't have done it without my new wife. She is my rock and my biggest supporter. The most amazing person I've ever met. Sometimes things in life happen... we can't explain them. We have to have the courage to go with it and to see what's out there. We all deserve to live our best lives.

Down 25lbs so far and already feel so much better. Thanks to you all for being such great inspirations to me!

WOW!!! Congratulations!!! So very impressed with how you have taken control of your life in so many ways!! You are an inspiration! Glad to have you here!!

1 minute ago, ruthpets said:

WOW!!! Congratulations!!! So very impressed with how you have taken control of your life in so many ways!! You are an inspiration! Glad to have you here!!

Thank you so much! Really, I just thought of my dad through it all... what he went through, how he fought to live and everything I've done has been so tiny compared to that. We only get one life.... we can't waste it.

Welcome, Chris! Thanks for sharing your story. Not as much attention is given to the topic of men trapped in abusive relationships, but the problem is all too real. I'm glad you were able to rescue yourself from that situation and start over. As a woman who rescued myself and my son from domestic abuse, I know all too well the costs of starting over. But, the benefits far outweigh the struggles.

As for addressing weight and health, like you, the death of a parent was a LOUD wakeup call for me. My mother died November 11, 2019; I had my first WLS appointment on December 5, 2019. COVID-19 set back my surgery to October 6, 2020, but I lost 36 pounds "on my own" before I was set up with the amazing tool of the gastric sleeve. I was ready to change and at 6 months out I remain committed to continually changing to move forward, especially through the plateaus and "stalls".

Congrats on your great progress! Keep on keepin on!

Your resilience and courage inspires me so much! Thank you for sharing your story. Love-Your Bi Sister