Although I read about other people in our lives not being supportive or downright jealous of us having our surgeries, it sure hurts when it happens to you. I'm especially surprised with how my co-workers are treating me. I'm a happy-go-lucky person who's always willing to lend a hand to people I care about & I am very tenderhearted as well so this is hitting me especially hard.

My co-workers are being rude when asked about covering my shifts while I'm off for surgery. I work at a little library with a small amount of staff and our jobs are really not that stressful so it's not like they are going to have to expend a whole bunch of energy or break a sweat working my shift. A group of co-workers even approached our director expressing "concern" that the surgery is too dangerous and that I shouldn't have it done which really baffled me since no one ever brought that up with me. Now I know that they just don't want to cover for me & are worried I'll be out longer that anticipated. I came in on Monday walking on a cloud because I finally got my surgery date & no one could be bothered to show any enthusiasm at all.

I have a co-worker who I've worked with for 5 years & I considered her to be one of my best friends. I've planned her work bridal shower and baby showers. I went to the hospital to see her first-born. She gripes constantly about her husband & I'm right there supporting her. We've done plenty of stuff together socially as well, so she's not just a work friend. In the past I've asked her for very small favors here & there and she's rarely helped me out but I asked so infrequently that it never really bothered me. I, of course, have helped her happily whenever she needed me. Well, her true colors are shining now that the surgery is approaching. I've been careful not to talk her ear off about the surgery because I can see that being super annoying. Whenever I bring it up now she just grunts in response and goes right back to talking about herself. I've asked her for two small favors in regards to the surgery and she's too inconvenienced to do either one. I am really, really hurt by her actions.

Another friend is acting jealous & responded to the news of my surgery with "I'll be interested to see how it goes for you". I haven't told friends on social media yet and now I'm definitely not going to. This will be a road I walk down with my husband on one side & my mom on the other cheering me on. I'll be just fine and I will succeed in spite of everyone's attitudes towards this huge step in my life. I'm really glad I found this community & I'm really glad you've read this far! Thanks for letting me vent!

4 hours ago, Jerzeegrl said:

WOW WOW WOW!!!!! why can't the people in our lives be happy for us? I've told 2 people about my WLS my husband and my best friend. At first my husband was like you don't need it blah blah... I told him I'm doing this with or without your support so... My best friend who is as thin as a rail said I love and support you 100%. BTW...my husband came around to my way of thinking real quick.

So as everyone else has said, don't talk about it with them, they are not your friends and truthfully it's not up to you to find someone to cover your shift, that is your Director's job. Good luck!!! You've got this!!!

Thank you! ? I’ll never understand how people can be so negative to others. I’m just glad I’m not as miserable as they are!

And they sent me flowers..... ha! ?I’m 99.999% sure the director paid for them but the card says “from the staff”. Really nice on her part & pretty to smell/look at!

Awesome!

Awwww.. That is awesome!

As far as having coworkers cover your shifts, I would just turn in FMLA paperwork to your director and let your director take care of it. It’s easy to do. Just print it out the forms from online ( just Google FMLA forms) and have your surgeon’s office fill them out. Done!
I’m so sorry that people you thought were friends at work really aren’t. Burn those bridges ( diplomatically) and let them go. You can still be nice to them but you don’t have to be friends. Have your surgery knowing there are so many of us out here that understand and support you!

Here’s the answer. It’s private. Your health your surgery should be kept private. You are opening yourself up to the criticism. I learned from my counselor. If I was going to have a female surgery like a hysterectomy I wouldn’t go to work or tell my friends all about it. Yes you are excited. But it is private. Lose your weight and start accepting those compliments instead of judgements.
Now the damage is done. You have already let the cat out of the bag so to speak. Do not talk about it. If someone brings it up. Say, I have decided to keep it private thanks. Let them whisper as you start to look fabulous. Yes! They are jealous. So what. Females are jealous of each other. Let it be!